What bugs me about labels is when people think the label dictates the behavior. When you keep reading threads that say, "I'm a crossdresser but I'm not gay, is there something wrong with me?" it gets frustrating enough to shove someone's head into a sink drain. But that's a different story...Originally Posted by DemonicDaughter
True. Even thought CD is a lifestyle, we all have that unusual thing in common. We all have our own way of presenting ourselves. Me, I don't really care to what degree someone CD's or why, I just figure we all have our own style or degree, but one thing for sure - CDs need to stick together. We are outcasted enough by "normal" society, we don't need to exclude each other based on silly things.
my pet peeve? cd'rs with a pet peeve against other cd'ers. think about it!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Shine On You Crazy Diamond
Luv Jamie
Does that mean you have a pet peeve against yourself?
That the large majority of them have absolutely zero sense of style and taste.
I suppose that means I can't count on your support for a separate section for all of us petticoated, gun toting, banjo playing crossdressers.
I'll hold their arms....
As a side note, that "dictates the behavior line" reminded me of Kevin Smith's movie "Clerks". He made an excellent point that title does NOT dictate behavior in any way.
Exactly! You notice other communities don't do this publicly even if they do have subcultures. Its not like you go to a gay club and there is a section just for those in denial. You don't go to a goth club and see only skaters on one side and ravers on another. There's no yuppie clubs with Porsche drivers in one area and Corvette drivers in another.
For cding to be accepted as a viable and staying community in our society, it needs to be presented with a more united front. Not this constant division.
Yeah, I'm sorry. No voting on that but you would win my vote for best dressed banjo player. :DI suppose that means I can't count on your support for a separate section for all of us petticoated, gun toting, banjo playing crossdressers.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[SIZE="3"]"We're all born naked. Everything we wear is drag," said Boy George
[/SIZE]
Yep. I was being sarcastic. Quite frankly we want acceptance for ourselves and yet have a hard time accepting others like us. Somewhat hypocritical I'd think.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Shine On You Crazy Diamond
Luv Jamie
The "Passing" obsession is a huge pet peeve.
This goes along with the previous one. Those that put down others not like them and push others to do "More" and be "More" feminine or like a woman or to be a "Real" CDer or ______ is not a good CDer look, CDers have to go out, CDers feel like a woman when dressed.
Do not put others down for who they are as a CDer or how they want to look. The TG spectrum is wide and greatly varied. Support each other, encourage others sensibly, but more so encourage others to look within to see who they are, and not try to be like one of us.
kimberlys-cd
So what is wrong with a guy in a skirt and beard tastefully coordinated.
Last edited by KimberlyS; 05-08-2008 at 12:43 PM.
KimberlyS-CD
joe in a skirt. Being myself not trying to be some other CDer
Just trying to find a balance for my son and myself.
Standard disclaimer: Going out of the house was right for me, it may or may not be right for you. If you've got no desire to leave the house, that's fine, I'm not trying to push you out the door. But for those who've been yearning to do so, I just want to let you know the world may not be as scary a place as you think.
I am not sure how to define this maybe just my frustration. I wish people would be better at communicating. And not so impatient. For instance I am really trying to find a person to become friends with dress up with and maybe even kiss. But when I start the conversation the next step is when am I going to sleep with them?
Maybe it's just me.
I'm gonna step out on a limb here, girls, but having read the Loved Ones forum for a while, something that bothers me is our members who fail to recognize the stress we all put on our SOs.
Disagree with me if you like, BUT:
If you tell your SO early on in your relationship, or more specifically before you say "I do" then you have a right to request that she be understanding and sensitive.
However, if dressing is something that came about AFTER you were together, or if was something you hid from her from the beginning, then she has a right to be both shocked, scared, demanding, nervous, apprehensive and so forth. And since it was a secret we kept from them, then they have a right to say "it's the clothes or me" (although, thankfully, most of them don't.)
I love being a girl, and don't think I could ever give it up, but I would never be upset for my wife if she asked me to.
~b~
I completely agree with brookalicious. It is unbelievable how much stress some of the cd's on here put on their SO's, especially the ones that try to keep it hidden only to get caught. I believe it shows a lack of respect towards your SO if you do not disclose this part of your lives to them.
Secondly, I also agree with the 24/7 panties thing. TMI. I do not need to know what kind of drawers you are wearing at the particular moment.
The thing about threads like this one, is everyone thinks in present day. Many of us that got married over 25 years ago, it was totally different. Back then CDing was something that was perverted, sick, and in some states illegal to do even in your home. This is how we grew up. Back then many women did not want a man that was a CDer, so we hide it, hoping it would go away now that we were married. As we all know it does not go away. Today a lot of it has changed. It is no longer a mental illness, it is no longer illegal, and women and people in general are more accepting. the Gay revolution helped show that both Gay and Trans people are OK. Later in the marriage the bug bites us again and this time with out new knowledge we decided to tell the wife and hope for the best.
When ever I hear about a sister that is hiding their CDing from the wife, I try to detrmine what there age is and how long they have been married. If they are 55+ and been married 25+ then I can understand why they kept it hidden. If they in their 20/30 and only been married say for 5 years, then they should have told up front. IMHO the sisters who's marriage went bad and they have been married 25+ years, I contribute to hiding, liying, and mostly our upbringing.
I am one of the lucky ones who is 55+, married 25+ years, hid it all until last year, and suffered for almost a year until the wife decided to accept my CDing. People and times do change. I remember at one time my mother would have been horrified if a black couple moved into the house next door and would never talk to them or make friends with them if they did. The last year she was alive, her next door neighbor was black and they were the best of friends. :2c:
Everyone has something that irks them. What gets me is that I come here looking for some type of belonging, but never really get to know any of you. My own fault or course. I will spare you all my attempt at explanation. Anyway... Reguardless of the "panty posters", the "wannabes", and the various others described in the previous posts, I always seem to find my way back here. Usually just browsing for something interesting that I can in some way relate to. I do not think our differences or pet peeves change the fact that this place, in spite of those things, is special to each of us in our own way. It seems to me that it is our differences that has us all here reading and responding to this thread...
Hugs...
Kiera
Kiera Renea
Damn and I was just going to change my signature to
[SIZE="4"]' In Pantyhose For All Eternity '[/SIZE]
Actually what are pantyhose? is it Tights?
xxx
:^P
Peace through superior dress sense..
KIERA & IWEAR
It's amazing how we become closer through our differences...
well said sweeties...
~b~
Winning! 
"Even a hunter cannot kill a bird which flies to him for refuge."
Chiune Sugihara
I understand that the UK calls all of them "tights". In North America, "tights" refers to thicker more opaque hosiery, often around 80 denier, and "pantyhose" refers to thinner sheerer hosiery, typically 40 denier or below. "pantyhose" might have a light pattern on it, but seldom a bold pattern; typical pantyhose colours are black; light browns; various shades of brown/orange in the approximate range of "white people's" skin-tones; and sometimes white -- but white would more typically be labeled as "stockings". Colours such as lavender or burgundy in a closed weave, or any closed-weaved multi-coloured wear (e.g., "candy cane") are usually called "tights" regardless of the thickness or (if they are footless) "leg-warmers". Open-weave wear appears in a wide variety of colours (but sells most in the near-blacks), marketed as "fishnet stockings" regardless of the thickness.
So "pantyhose" tends to be thinner, nylon-like, and in basic colours -- in short, mass "office-wear" either intended to be visible or intended to be okay to be seen in small flashes. But that might give a bit of the wrong impression, as the similar but shinier dark (especially black) 30 to 40 denier nylon-type hosiery intended for "dressing up" is still considered "pantyhose". Colour is important in the marketing determination: my lavender hose, though made of the same materials and only about 35 denier, would never be marketed as "pantyhose" around here.
In general: Plastics -> pantyhose. Silks -> stockings. Cotton -> tights. Opaque plastics or unusual colours -> tights.
Is that precise enough?
Awww, come on ladies, there must be more than this
For those that jump to the last post, a reminder:
What are your pet peeves about other CD's?
No names please.
Well that is certainly a conscise definition of what constitutes 'Pantyhose'..
..Only trouble is, overly elaborate explanations are one of my pet peeves!
lol
:^P
'In Pantyhose for all eternity.. and possibly longer..'
Peace through superior dress sense..
Actually this has been a big debate/discussion in the gay community for years as well. So the TG community isn't unique in this.
[SIZE="3"]Gender is a state of mind[/SIZE]
LGBTQ PRIDE
As of Oct. 5th, go here to see my pics:http://www.flickr.com/people/fab_karen/
A Yankee Doodle T-Girl
proud of my President
Never thought it was (unique in this sense). But, society seems to only want to acknowledge the "general" group first (i.e. "the gay community") and only then allows for division or sectors thereof. This holds true in various other instances well outside sexuality. It would behoove the TG community to present a much more united front at this point for any movement in society. After any level of acceptance occurs, let them divide there community into thousands of pieces. lol
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
[SIZE="3"]"We're all born naked. Everything we wear is drag," said Boy George
[/SIZE]
Tons of interesting responses. I am proud of our little group for not doing a bunch of flaming. I guess the only issue that I have that would be close to a pet peeve is the subtle pressure that some veterans put on the newbies to come out more. Such as telling their SO's, going out in public or just posting their photos on the forum. It just always seemed a little risky to me to even gently push people in that direction. All in due time.
Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right.
Emily my pet peeve is the people the need to let you know how many $$$ they spend on things. I don't mean if you get a great dress fore $3 I mean Oh I paid $350 for the dress.
Angie
The CDs that say that "men are pigs" and act like that they are a GG. Sorry, while yes most men are slobs and pigs, don't forget your sex. And the panties thing is a little creepy too.
:ire:Merry
HRT since 2009
Great thread, and I'm glad most folks are handling it with civility.
Couple of ones from me: Girls who tend to look down on us who don't want to show our faces, or go out in public. I'm far from petite, and I have a job that's somewhat in the public eye, so don't want to risk being outed. Besides, I don't have any desire to go around town in skirt and wig. I'm strictly "at home."
Another peeve. Girls who solicit advice through PMs, get thoughtful responses, and don't send a "thank you."
-Sedona
