I'll send you a brief PM -- the expansion might be slightly beyond the bounds of this public forum.Originally Posted by Elizabeth Ann
I'll send you a brief PM -- the expansion might be slightly beyond the bounds of this public forum.
Hmm... But who exactly qualifies as a woman?
"Maybe, in the heat of passion, it's okay to go A-T-M!" Clerks 2
I spent a bunch of time (too much time!) chasing down the law. It had to do with Cleveland Ohio specifically, and had to do with women wearing patent leather shoes in public (lest men see the reflection of the women's underwear in the shoes.) However, I went through the current Cleveland ordinances and could not find this law, so I think it must have been repealed by now.
I'd agree that attraction to men starts early, and also that it's often hidden from ourselves for a long time.
Before puberty, my friend and I discovered masturbation together, and then we discovered our mom's lingerie drawers. We freely and innocently played with each other, and I often dressed and danced for him, and even did silly strip-teases.
It happened that our family moved just at puberty, and in my new (small) town I quickly had a crush on and made friends with another boy (and some girls). Stupidly thinking that boys that like each other also like to play naked, I 'came on' to him and was brutally rejected. It was pretty traumatic.
For years I acted nothing but straight with men (though with women I was different), until I began hanging out with a new friend, Dirk. We met on weekends and enjoyed each other's company and doing things together as two straight guys.
He was very macho, and I was (inside and secretly) very femme, and over time our relationship really became more like boyfriend and girlfriend--we did what he wanted, I did what would please him, etc.
Talking about girls led to arousal and then (after three years) masturbation together and to my pleasing him orally. After six months (!!), I finally risked everything and dressed in front of him. His first comment was, "Damn, women's clothes suit you so well!!" Later, we laughed about how long it took us to get to that point!
I'm not sure if this addresses your question much, I hope so. Thanks for letting me talk about this...
I find it disturbing to call that innocent. Before puberty there's no sex drive to get that kind of thing going. While I suppose technically that kind of thing could happen, in reality it doesn't. When two kids are brought up in a good home they don't suddenly think it's a good idea to start masturbating together. Every time you get to the bottom of one of those stories, the truth is that one of the children was molested at an extremely young age, and then the kid in turn starts molesting his/her friends.
When a 3-year-old takes off his clothes and says "look at me!" that can be innocent, but when a 10-year-old takes it out and starts playing with it in front of his friend, that's a sign of childhood trauma.
Well, I was never molested, and have no reason at all to suspect that my friend was. I've met and talked to many men who masturbated with their friends as boys and who had "normal" upbringings. It was innocent in that we really didn't know much about sex (it was only after we'd masturbated for a while that I learned about intercourse), we just knew it felt real good.
Perhaps some major trauma is as yet undiscovered, buried deep in my unconscious, but i prefer the more direct explanation for young sex...it was a big turn-on.
if you think your bi, i say just go with it see where it takes you. I started with bi thoughts when dressed, then discovered i was having fantasy's about other cd'ers even when i wasnt dressed, then it moved on again to wanting non cders, no find me sexy when i was dressed. when i finally meet my 1st guy, the look on his face when he seen my underwear & how quickly it got him turned on, turned me on. always makes me smile when i think of that night
Jill
In my mind, engaging in homosexual activities with another, CD or male, does not constitute being homosexual.
If oral activity can be exchaanged with hetero couples, then why if 2 males engage in it, then they must homosexuals.
There have been real cute guys I've had crushes on in the past. If I were truly attracted to males, then I guess I would be attached now.
I believe it's okay to "test the waters" if you special feelings for another CD or male friend.
Wha... ???
Engaging in homosexual activities doesn't constitute being homosexual? That's the very definition of homosexuality.
There are plenty of homosexual men who aren't down with the gay lifestyle or interested in a long-term monogamous relationship with another man, but that certainly doesn't mean they're not homosexual.
And I really have no idea what you're saying about "oral activity." If heterosexual couples can have oral sex, why can't homosexuals have oral sex without being labeled as homosexual? What on earth are you saying?
You like having oral sex with men, but you're not attached to one? There are cute guys you've had crushes on, but not most of them? Welcome to the gay single life!
IMHO sexuality is more than who you have sex with. It's who you fall in love with (men, women, both?),
how feel deep inside (masculine, feminine, gender queer?), how you present yourself to others (man, woman, neither); what kinds of bodies you like to play with is just one part of the spectrum.
We've all seen that the answers to those questions are broad, can sometimes change, and don't easily fit into categories. That's what being human is about.
Why is it so important to "know" if someone is homosexual, or did something "homosexual" or not? Isn't it more important to know if they (and their partner) were kind, happy and satisfied?
I don't think it's important to know. The only people who seem to care much about labels are the ones who are scared of being seen as gay. I just thought her statement was very odd:
I just can't figure out what she's trying to say. If hetero couples can have hetero sex, why can't gay couples have gay sex? It makes no sense. Hetero couples having hetero sex leads to them being labeled as hetero couples, just like gay couples having gay sex leads to them being labeled as gay.
I had just got out of the Navy in 1987 and a buddy and I were partying pretty good and feelin pretty brave, We were at my then GF's house, she was upstairs sleeping and as we discussed the multitude of things we were curious about and wanted to attempt, we decided to go up to her dresser and find lingerie items, pantyhose or whatever would work for the next couple hours, we had been friends for years before this, still are, there are many times I find myself thinking back and remembering, and at times even find myself wishing to do it all again,
Quite possible. It would give a sense of validation. "He takes me, therefore, I have achieved my desire to be a woman".If the thought excites you perhaps this could be the legendary and infamous "bi when dressed" scenario.
In gurly mode I must be "heterosexual" and would only go with a man. Whenever the right opportunity comes along, yes I will fall into his arms and onto my knees.
Mandy, as the old adage goes, you won't know until you try it.
Strangely, or may be not, in boy mode I am bisexual, which my wife accepts and sometimes encourages.
Rachel,
As a crossdresser my personality has several facets. Therefore, I suppose I can be forgiven for being facetious.
My first sexual encounter with a CD was an absolutely wonderful experience and I have had quite of few of them since then. Not once was I disappointed by these sexual encounters. They are ordinary people just like us. Over time I found myself being emailed by straight males, chatted with them and ultimately dated a few. Frankly they were more gentlemanly than a lot of the males I have run across in my long life. I see no need however to put a label on it. If you enjoy being with a woman, a tgirl, a CD, a straight male or a manatee, I say go for it, enjoy yourself and don't worry about what it makes or doesn't make you.
Hugs, Janice
WOW, Good Question! OK. So I have been a CD my whole life. And yes I have done the Hotel thing. (getting all dolled up, and having sex with a man). Very hot at the time!
I was also very young and goofing around with dr#$gs!!
So I became a good girl. And I still had the fantasy!!!
I sat in front of the computer, thinking I would hook up with men, so I would feel like a woman!!!!
Well, fate stepped in. I met Gina, A make up artist, And than I met a bunch of really cool crossdressers that actually went out to bars and clubs, And I realized that my true fantasy was strolling all over town as a woman. Wanting to feel like a woman had,NOTHING TO DO WITH SEX.
I guess from my experience. Being in the closet, leads to closet fanyasy's. If there is anyway you can actually leave the closet you will experience reallity. Which is where you might find your REAL FEELINGS.
I am not on a high horse, I realize that I am very lucky to live the life I live. But I thought I would share my experience!
XOXO Tiffany
My wife and I have traded places a few times, it just didn't feel right to either of us to trade places. so I'm still the guy, in gurls clothes, and she is still the girl. All the best....BJ
Very good discussion topic. When I dress I do fantisize about being with a cd/tg/ts/male, though I know it is only good for me in fantasy land.
So I go to raves on regular basis, I'm one of the few totally sober ravers, I just love to dance. Anyways we had party at my friends since there was not any that weekend. Let's just say four of us ended up on my friends king size bed. Anyways I won't label him, but he dressed in female clothes, bad makeup and bright wigs and decided he was hot for me. So I said what the heck, so the four of us chatted, while building up with foreplay all of us dressed though. I was mostly playing with his nipples, we had these vibrating gloves, so I massaged him with those also (only up above though), though he started to want me to touch him through his shorts, that is where I drew the line though, I just got weirded out by touching someone elses. So that just confirmed that I am definitely hetro and not bi. So some things are definitely only for fantasy. For me the fantasy is really about being fully accepted as a female. I do think I would totally be comfortable doing it with a gg while dressed though. :2c:
hi ive been bi gay straght im currntly in a relation with my (as a man)asian boyfrend 3yrs now, who knows but i dont feel comfortable in front of him...
befor that id visit gay bars that were crossgender ive been with many cd,tv,ts,and (some girls not many) i think im queer afew years ago i met a ts and we have become frends an she is the one who i first told about how i like to dress up. and has helped very much
an what excites me the most is dressing up an being with an other like me
(cross dressing femmine girly hot times) also with a femmne gay guy
so im what i am
in sydney looking for like minded frends
annabelle
i've read through many of these responses and almost all of them are spot-on. the point that i see them trying to make is: be yourself, who cares what others think. the hard part about bisexuality is figuring out how much you like the opposite sex, or if you even need to label yourself as such. i'm a member at alt.com (a website for bdsm, etc. kinda like adultfriendfinder and just as useless when it comes to dating) and read many testimonials, probably dozens, of men questioning their sexuality because they like anal stimulation. the best advice i read on there was this: forget the labels. you are who you are, and you don't need to explain that to people who don't understand, least of all to people who expect to understand your sexuality through a single word. there are so many different levels of sexuality that it's pointless to jumble them all up together in a single word. so, like so many others have said, be yourself, be confident, and forget those who don't accept it.
and oh yeah, this sounds like tons of fun:
"Ever since then the only time that I'm ever with a man is if I'm dressed as a woman.I like the feeling of a man lifting my skirt and having his own way!"
p.s. don't try the atm. it's gross. let's just say it involves recycling.
Er...atm...urban dictionary dot com....definitions 2 and 3 ...
Eeewww!
One of the biggest "problems" I see, especially with many crossdressers is that they are not in touch with their feelings. Feelings play a big part in this "game", particularly feelings in connection with another person. It's hard sometimes to separate the feelings from the femme identity, ergo the confusion.
There is also the "stigma" of being labeled gay by many who insist, sometimes too much so, that they are strictly heterosexual. There is nothing wrong with having feelings for another person, regardless of what genetic sex they are but the heart, the situation and the chemistry plays a big part as well and it doesn't always necessarily lead to consummating the feelings with sex. This is why getting in touch with ourself and addressing our feelings is so important because quite frankly it all comes off in the bedroom anyway if it goes that far and the important part is the feelings we have and not trying to fulfill any kind of role. While the implication may be scary for some, it is nonetheless the truth.
Sometimes we worry way too much about the definitions of society or what other people may think. The real way to true freedom is being true to ourself. I find it much easier anyway.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
My early experiences were very much like Chrissietoo's. We were 11 and there was no molestation, we were both very willing. Now I find I am attracted to people who are sweet and intelligent, maybe have a sense of adventure and think I'm pretty!
Mandy,
It's great that you get that thrill out of being 'chased' by other CD's, and as a fantasy it can a very exciting thing. When it comes to reality, however, the story can be very different. You need to think very carefuly about what kind of experience you are looking for, what kind of role you want to play, and what kind of role you expect from your partner.
The truth is (and this is just IMHO), the labels that are attributed to heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality are just that; labels. The most important thing about finding a partner (or having sex with a partner) is how you feel about the experience.
