Just what is 'Society'?

[Aurora27]

I see regularly the comments about the rules and etiquettes that society has imposed on us, but it leads me to ponder just what is society?

I kinda get the feeling that the word society has vague connotations in peoples minds of some omnipresent force that looms over us spreading its cruel fingers of discrimination and abuse, dominating our thinking and our behaviours. It consists of everyone ELSE in the world, and they all hate us.

But are we not society? Is not society merely the group of people we interact with, including ourselves? Do we not thus have the ability to dictate what 'society's' attitudes are and how we react to that?

Sorry, kinda rambling a bit. I don't even know if I am making the point that I intended...

Let me put it this way, reading the posts here some times there'll be an answer to (sometimes very thought provoking) questions with vague answers talking about the attitude of society and what society believes is appropriate etc. but its all relative and our society today is so utterly varied that to apply ANY specific attitude to it seems a bit redundant.

I think the attitudes we apply to society and the way we perceive it is mostly derived from media, from what we read in newspapers and magazines, which anyone with half a clue should take with a generous pinch of salt at the best of times.

As if I haven't rambled enough, I'll explain a little something. I pretty much work all week, and outside of work I pretty much have immediate family and a few close friends. This is what comprises my 'society' yeah? One could probably reasonably say that society would be against a man wearing nail polish (especially in the shades of pink and purple I have been wearing lately) but no one at work or outside even cares. In the beginning there were a few questions and I replied confidently and unashamed that I just enjoy having a bit of colour on my hands. Everyone's cool with it.

I reckon if we adopt similar attitudes amongst our peers then 'society's' attitude must also change.

Also one more note: crossdressers tend to be 'hidden', and I think the fact that we take such pains to hide ourselves already sets up 'what they're doing is bad' kinda mindset. Not that I plan to out myself or anything - just saying.

Gosh, did that make sense to anyone? Apologies but I just had to vent a little... I'll end with a specific question: "What do you interpret 'society' as and what do you perceive is it's attitude towards you?"

[deja true]

Yup, Aurora, you're right!

Society is a rather vague term that we use to justify what we thnk we can do and what we should not do. And even though we all probably all agree that most societal rules are pretty constant throughout our Western culture, there are regional and local nuances to that generalized bunch of vague rules that we consider to be the unwritten rulebook for getting along.

Aussie, right? Well "society's" rules at an outback cattle town will be slightly different than "society's" rules in Sydney, won't they? (Hah! Crocodile Dundee's adventures in NYC showed us that, didn't they?)

And given population size, education level and degree of diversity in any community, that localized society's rules will vary from place to place.

Don't expect your New York manners and attitudes to go over well in north Florida without a bit of modification.

That you can help to modify your own localized society's rules to be a litle more tolerant is a good thing, but I doubt that all the guys in NSW will be showing up to work with pink or purple nails any time soon, huh?

A little eccentricity will always be tolerated as long as it's not overtly threatening or dangerous, in some places more than others.

[Jamie S.]

Excellent rant Aurora! I completely agree with you.

[Kate Simmons]

Well, WE are part of "society" my friend. The best way to change how others look at us is to have a positive attitude and show others we are just people like everyone else, regardless of what we wear or what our pursuasion is. The proof is in the "pudding."

[Christine Kelly]

I completely agree with you, Aurora!
Why should we hide who we are?
I no longer think of my dressing as CROSS dressing anymore,
because I no longer think of it as exclusive to women.
They are MY clothes and I wear them as a GENDER expression of who I am.
What is so wrong about a guy wanting to look and feel pretty?
Nothing!
As a matter of fact, men used to dress up in all their finery at one point in history.
How are we any different today?

[Sarah...]

I agree, and Deja adds some very good points. Society is essentially local. I think it's the case that if you can push back against society in a big enough place not enough people will care enough to push back against you. The threat is too small to be bothered about. But don't forget that the "society" you are experiencing at any one time can change pretty quickly.

It's interesting to ponder that if I turn up amongst the southern saharan tribes wearing my usual bloke jeans and t-shirt - acceptable stuff here in my local society - and try to take part in the male coming of age dancing tradition I will be the one laughed at by onlookers because I haven't got beads in my hair, lavish bright colours on my face and body and because I am far too hairy!

So there we go, one society's misfit (from society's point of view) is another society's celebrated character. I am a "member" of several societies and providing I broadly follow the rules things seem to go well enough. Whenever I have tried to apply my rules in society it has been difficult. Doesn't mean I shouldn't keep trying, so I do!

Great post Aurora - thanks!

Sarah...

[Aurora27]

Why should we hide who we are? I no longer think of my dressing as CROSS dressing anymore, because I no longer think of it as exclusive to women.

Interesting. I reckon if it became acceptable and the word crossdressing became obsolete it could swing 2 ways, either a lot of people would become bored with it and stop or a lot more people would begin doing it.

I am a "member" of several societies and providing I broadly follow the rules things seem to go well enough.

Well "society's" rules at an outback cattle town will be slightly different than "society's" rules in Sydney, won't they?

Well thats just it isn't it? We all belong to lots of little societies, and we all behave differently in each. I'm willing to bet most of us have found ourselves in the situation where 2 separate groups of friends have somehow met up, and you don't know how to act because you behave differently in each group.

That you can help to modify your own localized society's rules to be a litle more tolerant is a good thing, but I doubt that all the guys in NSW will be showing up to work with pink or purple nails any time soon, huh?

Actually there is another guy I work with who turns up in nail polish on the odd occasion and sometimes with eye shadow and glitter on (his girlfriend's daughter makes him up I believe) and he and I both chuckle over the reactions we occasionally bring out in people, but yeah its mostly 'manly men' so I am not expecting it to become a fad or anything ^_^

[Sherry-Stephanie]

It's those I thinketh, that are afraid of, jealous o,f or simply unable because they are fearful to become the 'enlightened"...i.e. people like us who have stepped against the "norms' and become aware of their feminine side of self...

Just my humble opinin...your miles may vary!!!! JMHO YMMV...

[Byllie]

Aurora,

I wouldn't call your post a rant. Rather, I'd call it a passionate position statement.

That said, I agree with you that (a) we are a part of society and that (b) there are many societies.

But, when forum members reference society and its norms, they are probably speaking of an average viewpoint. How do we change this average? Just as others have stated. We need to simply be who we are, out there, and eventually the average will shift; it always does.

Once, the average said that black Americans were 2nd class humans. That is no longer true. Once, the average said that women were not intelligent enough to vote. That too has changed.

As a Society, with a capital "S", we do move forward, but often it is an erratic path we travel.

[Bev06 GG]

I hope I manage to say this without offending any one but when I was a lot younger it used to be the fashion for a girl to have a gay friend. I was the height of fashion because I had two.
Years before that though gay blokes were considered unclean and disgusting in fact I can remember my father being quite shocked when I took my two friends home for tea with me. What I am trying to say is that societies are fluid and always changing. Within a society there are a variety of different cultures and within every culture there is a belief system which influences the way we see ourselves and our relationships with others.
Like the fashion with the Gay when I was a girl, it may well in time become the fashion to have a CD. Which makes you all sound like a fashion accessory I know but it might be one of the ways that CDs get to break out and be accepted. I truly believe that we are not that far away from acceptance and a modicam of understanding, it will only take one incident or one person to do it, but I believe when it happens it will be pretty swift. When it does happen I once again will be the height of fashion because I not only have two CD friends I have hundreds of them. So girls I will most probably become a fashion ICON therefore if I were you I'd get my autograph pretty quickly and start planning your wardrobe for when your seen out in public with me.
Take care
Bev

[Sarah...]

So girls I will most probably become a fashion ICON therefore if I were you I'd get my autograph pretty quickly and start planning your wardrobe for when your seen out in public with me.
Take care
Bev

An insightful comment as usual Bev but the quote above really made me laugh. Fantastic!

Sarah...

[Bev06 GG]

I know Sarah what am I like. I do feel though that we are a society within a society and if we are to survive we need to keep a perspective on our sense of humour and have a laugh at ourselves from time to time. I dont think we do too badly on this forum and I can think of quite a few characters on here who know exactly how to do just that.
Take care
Bev