Originally Posted by
maid of honour
I agree with all those who've said "find another place". We talked about it last night (with difficulty) and he feels that although he does want me by his side, he also wants to do it alone so he doesn't have to worry about me. He's offered to change the date and find out whether it really is unacceptable for me to go. I've said go ahead with my blessing and do it anyway. It has created a tension between us. We had really opened up to each other emotionally since he 'came out' and have had a lot of fun exploring it together. I do feel superfluous to requirements now and have a strong urge to do stuff on my own too. From his point of view, this is something he's spent a lifetime hiding and often feels foolish for indulging - part of his not wanting to go is because he feels embarrassed in front of me, especially if the place isn't welcoming. If he changes it and doesn't go I will feel I've spoilt it for him and if doesn't change it and goes I'm worried he won't enjoy it because of the wedge it's created. He said he didn't feel the elation he expected to when he booked it anyway, but I suspect that's because of my cool response to the fact that he's doing it alone. I'm not sure how we'll resolve it... but huge thanks to all of you for your supportive words. In the meantime I've emailed the place to ask what their policy / approach is to female partners attending but they haven't responded. We'll get through this. I don't believe there's anything sinister in his intention really... so perhaps I should indulge his indulgence! The last thing I want to do is drive it back into secrecy.
