I think we all get that way sometimes.. especially being trans..
It's an uphill climb, and it really sucks.
I am clinically depressed, and have many other mental issues as well.. and before I was medicated, I was a mess. I was cutting myself, and thinking about suicide constantly..
But now, I'm on a medication that stabilizes my moods by regulating the amount of two different types of feel-good chemicals going in and out of my brain.. and I'm doing alot better.
Of course, getting on T also helped.. that totally evened things out.
I also see a counsellor once a week, and I am in Dialectical Behavior therapy (DBT), which totally changes the way you think, act, and approach certain situations and just life in general.
There is help out there.. the best place to start is by talking to a doctor about it. They can usually point you in the right direction, and they CAN prescribe medications.. but remember, medication isn't the only answer.
If you need anyone to talk to, I'm here to listen, okay?
I know what it's like to be where you are right now.
