Jenna, staying home and going back in the closet is not an option hun , you have tried that and know that it can't be done.
None of us here can really really give you anything but genaral advice, we know you and your wife not at all, nor your unique circumstances, but the one thing I will say is, make your kids and your relationship with them your top priority, everything else comes a long way behind.
I wish you calmness to face this troubled time, and an easy road into your future
