Dressing yourself vs. Being dressed by another.

[deja true]

Wow! Lots of different takes on this idea...mostly over the control issue...

That's interesting to me. I'd love for someone to take control on occasion. Whether it's, as you posit in the opener, total control or whether it's just by way of volunteering helpful hints ("Now deja...that belt doesn't go with that long skirt, try this one!)

In any event, as a few have mentioned, it's a form of validation from the SO or friend that they actually enjoy and approve of what you're doing. And therein would lie the thrill! An unequivocal and equal sharing!

Yes, please! I'm all yours!

And later...you're all mine!

:D

[Raquel June]

I am asking if there are CD's who specifically would like to be dressed by someone else

...

For example do you, or would you feel more vulnerable, more accepted, loved and cared for, more turned on, or less in control of your own image or being, if your partner were to select and put on for you each item of clothing, wig and make-up.

What exact type of scenario are you talking about? Someone picking out your clothes, doing your makeup, and zipping up a dress for you is a very normal girlfriend-like fantasy. I'm sure most crossdressers would like that.

If you're talking about someone actually putting on your clothes as though you weren't willing/able to dress yourself, that's infantilism or humiliation. The crossdressers who dress for mostly fetishistic reasons have probably had that that one cross their minds a few times, though.

[Shari]

I wouldn't really have known how I would have reacted to it until it happened to me two weeks ago.
My SO went shopping and came home with the sexiest camisole-for me! I'm wearing it now as I write.
She took off my shirt and put it on me. It was a tremendously satisfying feeling. It verified to me that she had accepted me and so much tension and any lingering doubt was released from me in that one simple act.
It was so good in fact, that another avenue was opened.
With her approval, I just ordered a wig and our playtime together will be taken to yet another level. Not just the wig, but she's going to make me up too.
I'm so excited and so looking forward to this weekend.
I wish all of you the same good fortune that has been given me.

[Louise C]

Paige I would feel more loved and accepted if I were to be dressed by a woman whom I loved and cared for. I would love for a woman to help me with my dressing because I want her input of how to dress. I have never experienced a situation where a woman that I loved were to help me, or pick an outfit to wear, it would be a turn on if a girlfriend or wife were get me dressed and touched me in the right places for an romantic encounter. I would love to have that experience.

I totally agree with that. Totally.

[Laurie A]

What exact type of scenario are you talking about? Someone picking out your clothes, doing your makeup, and zipping up a dress for you is a very normal girlfriend-like fantasy. I'm sure most crossdressers would like that.

If you're talking about someone actually putting on your clothes as though you weren't willing/able to dress yourself, that's infantilism or humiliation. The crossdressers who dress for mostly fetishistic reasons have probably had that that one cross their minds a few times, though.

Interesting observation! I do x-dress for fetishistic reasons, and yes, I would enjoy being involved a forced fem type of scenario. I think its been discussed on other threads that forced feminization does not have to involve humiliation. It could just be a way to bypass feelings of guilt.

On the other hand, I also enjoy it when my wife picks out something for me to wear in drab, be it a shirt, a tie, a sweater or whatever. That tells me that she cares how I look, which I appreciate, but there is no sexual aspect to the exchange. Does that make sense???

[AmandaM]

I was led to believe that CD was a sexual thing. He put on women's clothes and we both got off. Since being here, I wonder....

Well, for some it's only sexual, for some it's only an expression of gender. For me and I'm sure others, it can be both.

[Faith12]

I must say Paige you are quite the looker,I wish I could look have as good as you do. From what I can tell from your avatar you have great taste in clothes,and if you wish to dress me I throw myself to your whims. Faith

[lynn2c]

getting dressed by my wife is a competely different experience for me.
It's a game we play. Getting makeup put on you in front of the mirror with candles is really cool.
Dressing myself is a whole different feeling. I really enjoy both.

[ether]

Interesting observation! I do x-dress for fetishistic reasons, and yes, I would enjoy being involved a forced fem type of scenario. I think its been discussed on other threads that forced feminization does not have to involve humiliation. It could just be a way to bypass feelings of guilt.

On the other hand, I also enjoy it when my wife picks out something for me to wear in drab, be it a shirt, a tie, a sweater or whatever. That tells me that she cares how I look, which I appreciate, but there is no sexual aspect to the exchange. Does that make sense???

I'm kinda in the same boat, but it would have to be in some sort of a relationship with the person or be with like minded people in a way in which I knew I had an exit strategy and 20 back up plans.On the other hand if a close friend said "I'm giving you a makeover!" I would be so on for it.

[sterling12]

For some being dressed by a S.O. is a form of foreplay? I guess I can see your viewpoint in that limited situation.

My Mother did not dress me after the age of six or so. I don't think I will ever look for a substitute, just not my thing! A well-intentioned suggestion from someone? I think I might be receptive, but I will always have my antennae up for any type of nasty little "dig," that some person might want to use to shame or control me. That would make me angry and probably verbally combative.

If I ever remarry, I will be looking for a "partner." not for a Mother, nor a nursemaid, nor a nurse, big sister, nor dominatrix. Sorry, if I offend someone.....just the way it is for me.

Peace and Love, Joanie

PS: I've had makeovers, it's OK but not a huge turn-on nor even neccessary for me. I guess I'm sort of happy as a self-learner, working out solutions for myself.

[JenniferR771]

Never had the opportunity. Wife is not cooperative. But I have some strong fetishes. Forced feminization with a strong streak of humiliation--oh yes!

[Tip or Ozma]

I love it when my wife helps me dress. It is a special feeling when her hands touch me. Knowing that she is also selecting the clothes is another neat feeling.

[justmetoo]

Count me in with those who would enjoy assistance and advice from an SO, with love and acceptance. Also I agree with the replies about having an SO help with suggestions for male attire as well.

[marny]

no thanks. rather do it myself

[Susan.]

Paige, it is pretty much everything you've mentioned. Though vulnerability is not increased, at least with my wife as she is not into control at all. The main difference is that it is usually about sex when she is involved, by myself it usually isn't about sex.

Having my wife dress me, especially undies, is a turn on. It is the cat's meow so to speak. For one thing it is the uniqueness, as she doesn't participate very often. It also relieves most guilt because she is doing it or "making me do it". Crossdressing already has a component of feeling secure, but her helping increases that secure feeling.

[Alex!]

Interesting question. I have to say that getting prepared as Andrea is a personal experience I do not care to share with others. Similarly, I absolutely hate showing unfinished paintings, drawings or sculptures to clients when they ask. I prefer for the world to see finished products, I suppose, and this translates to my Andrea persona. This is a very thought-provoking question as it turns out

[andreaattimes]

I would appreciate the help. Especially because I have a hard time seeing how things actually look on me.

[Rachel Morley]

For example do you, or would you feel more vulnerable, more accepted, loved and cared for, more turned on, or less in control of your own image or being, if your partner were to select and put on for you each item of clothing, wig and make-up.

More vulnerable? ..... well yes, BUT only back when I was in the closet and embarrassed about being feminine and feminized. Being more accepted, loved and cared for ... absolutely! I love the attention of my wife on me no matter what we are doing, and if it's attention to me and also helping me to be more feminine (which is an intensely personal and emotional thing for me) then all the more the better! It brings us closer together. I love being fussed over, and being "turned into a girl" by my wife :D

[CD Susan]

Yes I would love to have a supportive SO or wife assist me in my dressing. This is something that I have never experienced. I was married to a totally unsupportive or understanding wife for 23 years and would have loved to have her participate in my dressing but that was not to be. If I was fortunate to have an approving and supportive woman in my life I would love to have help wiith my make up. I have often wondered how does one put on a corset that laces up the back without help from another person?

[Joy Carter]

Na. I can dress my self. What woman can't ? But I could use a little help with makeup.

[noeleena]

hi... oh wow . you all have been saying some thing about your selfs more so than you may think .. interesting ....oh yes . ?? . like this how open you are being ..... really neat ...jos & i have been to gether as two women for 11 years . all up 35 years ..jos & i . we would pick clothes for each other. make up we check with each other on that as well . jos allways asks me is her make up right ...or do i look right .... i have had make up done for me . oh yes in front of lots of people in big stores with other women so yes no problen . that does not say i am the prettyst female there far trom it . being dressed by other women no prob . i will do it for other women in our edwardian group .i know its not a prob as i am accepted as a women ...for fashion shows we get dressed to gether or un dressed as the case may be ...i see it as a part of who i am ...a women ...just one point i am uneasy with men around in those situations . that is a change for me ... other wise no problem...sorry guys just me ..... ...noeleena...

[tanya1976]

I’m not interested in knowing who likes to xdress or what it feels like to wear a dress. There are tons of threads and posts about that. I am asking if there are CD's who specifically would like to be dressed by someone else and if there are emotional differences or issues, if any, that you can share. How is it different for you?

For example do you, or would you feel more vulnerable, more accepted, loved and cared for, more turned on, or less in control of your own image or being, if your partner were to select and put on for you each item of clothing, wig and make-up.

For most CD’ers I assume this would seem more like kinky role playing, and satisfying a fetish than dressing and being accepted. Comments?

My girlfriend has dressed me occasionally and although it's a nice change, we do seem to have very differing ideas on dress sense...

[Dana]

I’m not interested in knowing who likes to xdress or what it feels like to wear a dress. There are tons of threads and posts about that. I am asking if there are CD's who specifically would like to be dressed by someone else and if there are emotional differences or issues, if any, that you can share. How is it different for you?

For example do you, or would you feel more vulnerable, more accepted, loved and cared for, more turned on, or less in control of your own image or being, if your partner were to select and put on for you each item of clothing, wig and make-up.

For most CD’ers I assume this would seem more like kinky role playing, and satisfying a fetish than dressing and being accepted. Comments?

For me? My CD'ing is about who I am as a person. I'm by defination ~ part girl. That doesn"t make less of anything.

[Tracey Corset]

For example do you, or would you feel more vulnerable, more accepted, loved and cared for, more turned on, or less in control of your own image or being, if your partner were to select and put on for you each item of clothing, wig and make-up.

I would hate my wife dressing me and she would hate me dressing her, she always likes to be surprised by what i wear, she may make a suggestion, like, wear something sexy tonight, or can you wear your blue dress tomorrow because it really suits you, i have happy wife which means i can spend more time experimenting, make up etc,

[Raquel June]

Interesting observation! I do x-dress for fetishistic reasons, and yes, I would enjoy being involved a forced fem type of scenario. I think its been discussed on other threads that forced feminization does not have to involve humiliation. It could just be a way to bypass feelings of guilt.

On the other hand, I also enjoy it when my wife picks out something for me to wear in drab, be it a shirt, a tie, a sweater or whatever. That tells me that she cares how I look, which I appreciate, but there is no sexual aspect to the exchange. Does that make sense???

That all makes perfect sense.

I guess there's a big gray area between the humiliation/emasculation side of forced feminization and the helplessness/bondage side. People generally get a rush from fear, and that can be tied to humiliation fetishes, but those with guilt issues also get really into the helplessness side and letting go to relieve guilt.

I wouldn't be surprised if:

CDs who don't go out
- have more feelings of guilt, so have more helplessness fetishes that relieve guilt
- aren't as turned on by fear/humiliation

CDs who do go out
- have less guilt, so aren't as turned on by feeling helpless
- risk getting read/caught (or worse) because they have more of a fear fetish (and maybe a humiliation fetish)

It's not the best theory, though. I know several CDs who go out now and then and have severe guilt issues, but those are the ones who take awhile to build up the courage to go out, then they feel so guilty you don't see them again for a few months. And the more transgendered ones aren't doing it because of any fetish.