I have said this before..I some what agree with you that in away it might be easier for woman to get away with cding then it it for a man....Originally Posted by closet_guy
BUT...........do you think society would be just as accepting of me If I were to walk in a restaurant wearing a mans suit and tie?...(rather then jeans and a t-shirt)...I think not
Mel
Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.
I get no problems walking round in a suit and tie. I do it quite frequently. Day before yesterday I wore a suit, in fact. I get no problems at all. I will wear anything from a suit to torn jeans to heavy metal gear. The only area I have trouble with is the swimsuits, for obvious reasons
Yes-- socks! Run out again! Why is it that no matter how many millions of pairs of socks I buy, I never seem to have any? They just... disappear. Honestly, you'd think someone was coming in here, stealing the damn things, and selling them off. . . For me, socks are like sex: tons of it about, and I never seem to get any.
Indeed. Yet, knowing myself it is not that easy to define where it stops being man and starts being woman and where it stops being woman and starts being man.
Sorry, I did not visit this thread for a while, and I think we also discussed in another thread. I am somewhat courious what really is a problem with you. Are you just emotional because of your past or your simply find difficulty soring yourself out in the new relationship?
In a way I feel haste from your side. I must admit I do not believe in haste when it comes to relationships.... Things take time to define themselves and to weight them in the right proportion and accept or refuse to be part of something.
But one thing is interesting: I find most of woman that accept their male side very complex in fact in a way more complex than majority of women that would just be in their fem roles. And that complexity as far as I feel belongs just about everywhere else except in sexual waters. Yet sexual orientiation is subject.
I'd really like to understand this ?!?
Stelli...
First off my relationship with my boyfriend is quite different then anyone I have ever had before..Besides the fact that he cdes....I have never been with someone who wants to wait for intimacy....Though I can see how if someone wears womans clothes underneith...would want to wait for intimacy as fear of what the other person may say....It really isn't a problem I am actually cool with him wanting to wait for sex because he said he wanted to make sure it is love and not lust...So I gather when he does make the move to have sex with me...That is his way of telling me he loves me....
As far as me wanting to dress him....do his nails...actually see him fully dressed...I can wait..There is no haste on my part there...I was just curious as to what or when is the right time...I mean h e says this is a daily thing for him but I am thinking other wise....
He said he didn't consider himself a crossdresser because he doesn't go home and put on clothes to just wear around the house..He has told me that he wears ladies clothing everyday and he wears dresses, skirts ,hose, high heels etc to work....To me that is like saying he is more comfortable dressed as a woman around his co workers then he is me...Do you understand what I am saying....here we have been seeing each other since Nov 2003 and though that might not seem like a long time I feel it is long enough to feel comfortable with someone.....
I have had problems in past relationships..yeah and I might be emotional...I find myself lost in this relationship because he is different then anyone I have ever been with and If you were in my shoes you would know what I am trying to say....There is not enough web space........
For me I have never dressed on a daily basis...I do it on the weekends and sometimes at home..Yeah I am a closet cd...I am not sure I have a more masculine side then the average woman....I just like to see the world through the eyes of a man.....and what better way to do it then to be one right?
I love being a woman....I feel comfortable as a woman and I would never cd as a man on a daily basis.....In my relationship I play the role of the woman and my bf is the man....Though he dresses like a woman..I am ok with that..I am secure enough with my sexuality that I do find woman attractive...am I gay or bi....No....I like how a woman looks and I like the fem thing and maybe that is one of my reasons for wanting to be with someone who cds....
He treats me like I treat him and that to me is soo hard to find......
So yeah...I am a female who once in awhile like to orientate myself as a male....
My bf has not seen me like that yet and it isn't that I wont or dont want to do it for him....He just really hasnt asked.....
He says one day he would like to see what I look like all "decked" out because he can not beleive that I pass as a male..and I have plenty of times....If I have missed anything just let me know..I hope I have answered your questions
Mel
Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.
It's like getting fog away. It is extremely interesting what you have wrote to me. Now I believe that I can understand way more than I originally had imagination. Also I think that I finally grasped what you meantin in previous postings. What I understand now is completely different than what I have imagined at the first place.
My current understanding says this: You both accepted yourselves as crossing over the line of archetypal gender roles. And in a way you did it in order to explore your own personalities. He obiously does it as a lifestyle. The fact is that your personalities match on outer level but actually trigger more deeper feelings. I find crossdressing also as a message.
Now I can understand him. And I start from my side on that: Crossdressing helped me to have female feelings. Dressing is just a tool to be in a gender role. In female feelings world I do desire my counterpart (which I do not have and I do believe that this is unique that you have between you two). When I am on my fem, waiting for intimacy is pleasure on its own. To me it is like tunning to the right frequency.
Now, you happen to step on each other in complimentary way. You know that you match and this causes or as I have said triggers deeper emotions that are connected to your intrisic gender but on a intimate personal level. The one that you do not need to advertise because you are a person you are. So, you both become precious to each other as you can relate without outer need of making a dressing statement. This leads that you feel like woman as you are and he as man as he is in a blend of relations or attitudes that makes you complete as couple. Since you both know what it takes to be on another side it may take a time to put everything in its place. From what I just read about him I admire him and I admire you for care and I admire you both for being patient and loving to each other. This is THE VALUE of your relationship.
I am sure that there will be the time when you can both enjoy being cross but I am even more sure now that you are going to be fine as you are.
If it helps you being confused maybe that is already part of the getting closer. I believe you love each other, and I think that you find it somewhat difficult to accept that this is a case. Love is transcendent to sex.
In a way I think that he may even stop CDing with you for a while. The problems that you have had in your past relations look completely inapplicable for this one. I do not know but I reckon it is that you have had straight people. I can understand that, I have had a lot of problems in my relationships as I had tendency to relate to straight women.
To conclude, in this understanding I will let him lead the relation. And you take over when he becomes tired of leading, then he will submit to CD for you because that will be different statement than his CD on a lifestyle basis. I wish and I am almost sure that you both will have long fruitful loving relationship where CDing is just a part of life and your personalities fill the rest.
How does this sound to you?
How does this sound to you?[/QUOTE]
Wow...atleast on my part..you hit the nail right on the head....That is how I feel....and that is how it is for me....
There is one thing that I am not sure of...I know that I love him and he may love me but I think once he takes that intimate step is when I can be sure that he does love me....When he looks at me I see something in his eyes that I have never seen before...and I could say that yeah it is love on his part as well...but again..once he takes that step to be intimate..then I will know for sure
I know that this man is the man for me...and I can only hope that he feels I am the woman for him....
We are much alike in more then just the cding...Our personalities do match quite well I must say...we get along great...Though it might not seem like it..Our communication is great....Compared to my other relationships.....
When I am with him I know he doesn't judge me...That's why I feel I can be open as I am with him...
Thank you for your response....you really have helped me and kinda put my mind at ease....No one else really understand me...I am glad you do...
Mel
Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.
Now I am amazed too. Getting to know that I can grasp it. I come here because I await your writting. It's all good and it is inspirative. I am very pleased to read your message and I am also pleased to find out that this is possible - to find approprite mate. I am soo glad about you two. Keep me posted.Wow...atleast on my part..you hit the nail right on the head....That is how I feel....and that is how it is for me....
You know dressing with me triggers certain kind of feelings and that is something I enjoy the most. In this case it is combination of dressing and feeling close to someone.
You are way south to me, but who known maybe there will be the time to meet you IRL.
I forgot one more thing, when I am on my fem I feel assertive however somewhat passive. Maybe you will be the one to judge and lead the first move
One question: when you meet just two of you is either of you CD at that time? (I guees not from what I remember)
When we see each other I am not usually dressed....though he is in away...Most times when we go out in public..he is wearing mens clothes but has womans cloths underneath....As far as when I go to his house...he is usally wearing womans clothes....A few times reccently that I have gone over there he even has had his bra stuffed...So I feel that he is coming along..Slowly but surely....I asked him if he would like to go to a club one night where cding is accepted and he said he would...then I too would dress
While there might be many reasons for me to "accept" the fact that my bf cds...I really look at it as a man expressing his inner self....expressing his fem side...expressing his sensativity...and so forth....That right there by itself is very attractive....If he feels he wants to dress to finish expressing himself...I am behind him 150%....
I would say, yes I am very far south of you...lol...
No one has ever said they wanted to meet me from a message board...not a bad thing..just has never happened...so maybe one day
I too look forward to your replies and what you have to say...It is very intruiging and I have really learned alot....
Mel
Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.
If you shut it down then it will not grow more. It will stop and everyone who is here already will leave.
Thanks, Andreu (and wife)! Glad to know that there are a few people like me around
Abraxas
Yes-- socks! Run out again! Why is it that no matter how many millions of pairs of socks I buy, I never seem to have any? They just... disappear. Honestly, you'd think someone was coming in here, stealing the damn things, and selling them off. . . For me, socks are like sex: tons of it about, and I never seem to get any.
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