The desire to dress and do all the other things seems to have evaporated with me.
I haven't been in here much over the past few weeks and I haven't even dressed now in about a month I guess.
I've stopped all my subtle "femme" activities...wearing panties 24/7 shaving etc...
It seems to have changed right before my Shepherd was put down...and has carried forwarded to now. I don't feel guilty about dressing...not in any conflict over it...I got bit on both arms several weeks ago when my two male dogs got into a fight in the bedroom at 3AM and I tried to break them up and one of them nailed me pretty good...had about 30 bites, punctures/cuts on both forearms so I couldn't shave...
I'm not going to purge...because I realize I might just be in a funk or something...but the feeling is that I tried it I liked it and I got OK with the look but not to the level of being able to move forward. Plus with the economy and my finacial situation I'm pretty much dead in the water at this time to buy additional items to carry this activity forward....I just feel like I tried it and it was fun and all of that....but now it's time to move on...and I'm not feeling any regret, loss or even joy about it either way...
I really enjoyed the whole experience...learned alot experienced a whole new side of myself and meet a lot of great girls here....buit it just seems that my female side has evaporated away. I guess that's the best way I can explain it....it's like I put a block of ice outside in 50 degree weather and when I went back it was gone....
So I really have no idea where or what tomorrow will bring....I just have to live in the moment and deal with that....
Sooooo, I'll just say everyone take care and until the next time....
Stephanie...