caught with camisole

[helenr]

Thanks so much for the kind encouragements. I was in a predicament-on a table, held in place for this unusual CT scan-a warm damp cloth feeling item was laid over my face and it took the shape of my head-had to stay still for 5 minutes while it hardened and scans were made. I have great difficulty staying still. But I managed--the 3 MRI that took 90 minutes just about did me in!
though I sensed what was to be when she unbuttoned my shirt for clearance, our eyes met for a moment as she slightly reacted to my camisole-glad it wasn't my lacy one!- I am sure she didn't care, though clearly it wasn't the typical Fruit of the Loom or whatever she might expect! This Radiology Lab is headed by a very sweet, clearly gay man. He is a very caring individual and there is some irony that my doctor should do not be 'normal' (great book by that name-a good read). He caught me off guard on the initial exam when he reached down to feel my ankles for swelling and surely he detected my pantyhose I wear daily. Again, I inwardly sigh and don't care about this small stuff. Like most of you, I have beaten myself up so many years over the irressistable urge to crossdress-to be on the pink team-that I have just given into it. My wife is much more sympathetic now-doesn't care that I wear Silk Reflections daily. It isn't erotic anymore, just what I feel I should wear. Ironic that this really mean cancer (Merkel Cell Carcinoma) should bring us together. A small sty like growth turned into a serious villian and I so hope the radiation can fry it to oblivion-on my left upper eyelid-can you imagine a worse site! Maybe there is a reason for how things go in life. A weakened immune system, maybe 60+ years of stress and guilt have caught up with me. hugs to all of you. helen

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

It puts things in perspective, what diff. does it make what you were wearing. By the way, my wife had skin cancer under her left eye and everything worked out just great, I am praying for the same outcome for you.

[melissaK]

Hmm. Sorry about the eye and all that. Getting outted and learning the world doesn't end over it, its kinda self affirming - cathartic.

And are you gonna get to wear an eye patch for awhile? Ahoy Lady pirate!!

Hugs,
'lissa

[CharlotteW]

Good luck with the treatment.

I remember being asked by medical staff about my choice of underwear, I didn't get the chance to answer, a nurse answered on my behalf saying "that's a thong!" I didn't feel bothered about it at all. I need to get my foot xrayed soon and I'm wondering whether to bother hiding my stockings (ie not wear them for the appointment).

[CD Susan]

Helen, I wish you the best with your treatments and hope you have a speedy recovery. Those in the medical profession have seen it all before. There is no need to worry about wearing fem things under your guy clothes around these people. They are professsionals and are trained to overlook these kinds of things and concentrate on your medical condition. I have been wearing panties to my doctors office visits for the past 40 years and have never recieved any comment about what I am wearing. I even go to see my podiatrist with red nail polish on my toenails. He has never commented on it. this is nothing to worry about so don't give it another thought. Good luck with your treatments, my thoughts are with you.

[Tootsye]

Helen,
Good luck with the treatment. I have had a squamus cell carcinoma on the top of my left ear, and a basel cell carcinoma on the tip of my nose. Both worked out well. My nose is a little smaller on the tip now, perhaps more femme? <g>
I told my doctor that I was a cross dresser about four years ago. He has now seen my panties and my painted toe nails. The only thing he has ever said to me about my cross dressing, is that I should not wear my waist cincher too tight! <g>
If my wife did not go to the same medical group, I would go for my annual physicals in full presentation! But,. she is not comfortable with me doing that!
Tootsye

[JenniferR771]

Best wishes for your treatment. My wife outed me to my doctor. But no problem. I actually told my urologist and my oral surgeon myself. (He burned a suspicious area off my tongue when the biopsy came back bad). Doctors are professionals--they cannot talk about their patients. They see a lot of underwear.

[helenr]

thanks for the added positive wishes. I am greatly relieved the surgeon's scalpul will remain in the sheath and we will be using radiation only. Surely, not any picnic to have my eyelid irradiated--I wear a special contact lens and what looks like a small metal protective cap over my pupil. Surely will take more time to set up than the actual zapping. I guess by the 3rd day, I will have the hang of it. thanks, Helen

[docrobbysherry]

Basil cell cancer the size of a dime on the side of my nose. Radiation treatments daily for 6 weeks. Hospital about 20 miles away. After awhile, we got into a routine. I was in and out in about 10 to 15 minutes.

Apparently, it worked on me. I hope it works out for u, too!

Can't think of anything funny to say about cancer! Lost too many friends to it, to make jokes!:Angry3:

[helenr]

So many nice comments, and surprising how much other cancer out there. I am sure we all read that it now is the leading killer, though I hesitate to dwell on that aspect! No pirate's patch--just a rather sore upper eyelid after some treatments, I am sure. I hope the vicious cancer will be broiled off fast and that will be very calming,in itself.
On a more profound level, I do wonder if the stress that being who and what I am for nearly 62 years hasn't taken its toll on my health. I know everyone reading this can relate. One can philosophize and try to keep matters in perspective, but it is hard to lose the reality that I have my mainspring wound backwards.
Sad to say due to the implication, but in some small sense, if things don't work out with this MCC, I would welcome another shot at being the correct gender/mind the next time around, if there is one. Serve me right if it a poor black woman in Africa or some Saudi woman with their miserable human rights. best, helen

[Marla]

I wish the best for you in your treatments,and will say a prayer for you.

But I think its a damn shame that we have to worry about something that shouldn't mean a thing to anyone except us!

[helenr]

Marla, I have spent my entire life concerned about my crossdressing. Sometimes I think death would be a form of relief from this concern. It isn't serious mental illness, just the secrecy thing. I am sure you know what I mean. best, helen