Tempted to go all the way?

[SissyMin]

If I changed I would want to know that it would come with good results. That is what is holding back from starting HRT, if I am not happy with the result, than maybe I would've thought better to stay as I am, even if it may not be what I truly want.

[nvlady]

I think I probably speak for ten or twenty girls on here when I say my immediate answer was no and I wasn't even going to read this post.
I am very happy the way I am with an occasional visit to the other side of the closet.

[jenniferTgurl]

Every day! I plan on going full time in the not to distant future, maybe by the end of 2009. As far as SRS goes I doubt I will ever do that, maybe if I were 20 years younger.

[MissConstrued]

The world is my urinal, and I like it that way.

The one thing that really confuses me is the crossdressers who don't get a sexual kick out of it and also don't at all consider themselves TG.

Sexual kinks have a way of losing their edge over time, but people still have sex. The raging hormones and sex drive of youth no doubt give way to something different as one ages, perhaps leaving an emotional high or something. At any rate, why try to create another pigeonhole?

[Raquel June]

Sexual kinks have a way of losing their edge over time, but people still have sex. The raging hormones and sex drive of youth no doubt give way to something different as one ages, perhaps leaving an emotional high or something. At any rate, why try to create another pigeonhole?

How am I trying to pigeonhole anyone?

So would you describe yourself as a crossdresser who doesn't get any excitement out of wearing women's clothing? Yet you don't consider yourself to have any transgender feelings? What are the feelings you do have that motivate you to identify as a man yet dress as a woman?

Even referring to each other with feminine pronouns (as 99.9% of M2Fs here do) seems pretty odd if you're not going to admit to any TG feelings. I guess it's just semantics.

[Sophie_C]

The way I see it is that I am TG and fully self-aware of it.

I see gender as a gradient from masculine to feminine and I lie severely toward the feminine side.

Any sort of dressing doesn't change that fact.

So, dressing as a man is simply myself dealing with that situation in relation to the world around me.

I've known this, at least on a subconscious level since I was very, very young.

To answer the question: If there were no negative consequences to myself doing it, I'd consider going the standard RLT and see how it went, with hormones, FFS, the works.

But, that isn't the reality in 2008, now is it?

We ALL know the standard story where people lose their job, their families and friends, basically everything they hold dear to themselves as a consequence of transitioning.

It is the exception where such a thing only makes a small negative impact on one's life. In fact, I can't think of a single example where damage was not done to some degree or another as a consequence of transitioning.

I do honestly believe that in under 50 years, people will be identified as TG early enough to have it dealt with before puberty, giving them the ability to have lives relatively close to other women, but in 2008 the public has such a ways to go, that the damage is severe for anyone who goes along that journey.

So, I am too driven by reality to be tempted by it.

[MissConstrued]

So would you describe yourself as a crossdresser who doesn't get any excitement out of wearing women's clothing?

I didn't say that. "Excitement," I suppose, may be subject to semantics. Yeah, I get a kick out of it. But not the kind where one dresses up just to spank the monkey. (Okay, not any more. ) It's more of a diversion... some people collect stamps. How dull. My friends find me more entertaining than collecting stamps. Which is all very cool, because I wasn't exactly a popular teenager. Maybe it's exciting because it's all just so very wrong. And things that are wrong, you know, are just more fun.

Even referring to each other with feminine pronouns (as 99.9% of M2Fs here do) seems pretty odd if you're not going to admit to any TG feelings. I guess it's just semantics.

I don't. Note my lack of "femme name." I actually racked my brain for days on a user name for this forum, until remembering that I really am just a guy in a dress. I'm not a she, not a her, not Sally, Sue, or Helga. I am not a woman trapped in a man's body. I don't think I have much at all of what they call a "feminine side," though I don't complain too much about how long it takes my date to get ready.... I work, race, shoot, ski, drink beer, and chase women. I am a man, and not confused in the least about it.

Think Eddie Izzard. Jeans and beard, or heels and fabulous makeup -- he's still Eddie. The girls say, "what a beautiful man! I want to have your children!"

[Raquel June]

Yeah, I get a kick out of it. But not the kind where one dresses up just to spank the monkey. (Okay, not any more. ) It's more of a diversion...

I know what ya mean about not anymore.

When I was little I wanted to be a girl so bad, I would always get into my mom's stuff until she started hiding all of it. My parents ended up moving their bedroom upstairs and telling me I wasn't even allowed to ever go up the stairs without one of them with me.

Then after puberty it became an exciting thing for me that I just felt gross about being excited about. I no longer felt like a little boy who wanted to be a girl. I felt like a pervert. So I avoided it as much as possible. I ended up just trying on my GF's clothes about once a month.

When I got out of a long-term relationship a few years ago, I went and bought a whole bunch of clothes, but then I realized it didn't turn me on at all, but it still made me happy just to have the clothes. These days I really don't care what I'm wearing unless I'm going out. I just like to dress more girly when I'm going to be hanging out with people who are going to treat me more girly and not try to talk about football.

I don't mind people calling me my guy name -- especially friends. There are girls with my guy name, after all. I don't like being called "him," though. That makes me feel like I'm being made fun of.

[Sammy777]

I'm not a she, not a her, not Sally, Sue, or Helga. I am not a woman trapped in a man's body. I don't think I have much at all of what they call a "feminine side," though I don't complain too much about how long it takes my date to get ready.... I work, race, shoot, ski, drink beer, and chase women. I am a man, and not confused in the least about it.

I have to agree with pretty much everything you said here.
Because you pretty much described me, lol.

But I do happen to like my name & like being referred by it on here.
Also if all you know is someone's female name on her how else are you supposed to refer to them?
I guess I could call you by your guy name, but I don't know it!
Same goes for most others here.

Yes, for most here [CD'ers anyway] is does boil down to man in a dress,
But does that mean you would still rather be called "Bob"?
If I am/was around other people fully dressed I would not like to be called my [guy] name.
It doesn't matter that I know it is still me & that She is not some "other" person/personality but just rather a part or extension of me that I am showing at that time.

My brain does tend to run down the middle of the gender road as well as left & right. Which makes me equally artistic & logical, happy to be a guy & accepting that I sometimes like to be [or at least play the part of] a She & yes, I have recently begun to realize, accept & to identify as a TG, more so because I like the way I feel & the way I look dressed & it is not just a turn-on/fetish/kink for me.

I think a "kink" or "fetish" is something you like to do, like playing tennis. Its great fun but you can take it or leave it.
This is something unlike a sport or hobby or sexual component that can not be dropped or forgotten about when it no longer suits my wants or needs.

Also, unlike most things, this has a name attached to it.
If Bob likes wearing a leather mask during sex, Bob is still Bob.
If Bob plays golf 5 times a week, he's still Bob.
If Bob spends 30 hours a week playing Warcraft, yup still Bob
But if Bob wears panties, Bob is a Crossdresser.

We all have & use names for different parts of our personalities like sadness, anger, joy, being funny, ect, well you get the point.
So why not a name to help identify this part of yourself?

One more thing, also just like you, I pondered what name I wanted to be known as here & I , like most settled on a female name that I have always liked & since have begun to identify Her by, whatever She was, is now, or will ever become later on.
Doesn't mean I think I am or want to be Her or that I don't like being a guy or want to change, ect, ect.

[edit: Important note, before coming here, I never used a female name for myself]

In short [to late] "A rose by any other name will still smell as sweet."

PS: MissConstrued, Not all of this is a direct response to your quote but rather a bit of rambling thrown in for good measure.
Sorry for the phone book reply.

[Raquel June]

Also, unlike most things, this has a name attached to it.
If Bob likes wearing a leather mask during sex, Bob is still Bob.
If Bob plays golf 5 times a week, he's still Bob.
If Bob spends 30 hours a week playing Warcraft, yup still Bob
But if Bob wears panties, Bob is a Crossdresser.

We all have & use names for different parts of our personalities like sadness, anger, joy, being funny, ect, well you get the point.
So why not a name to help identify this part of yourself?

To be fair, I think more people in leather masks go by "slave" than "Bob."
Last time I tried to play golf everyone kept calling me Petey (that's not my name).
When I'm playing games, my name is Flaming June or Judy Nails or Lilith or Kaminoitte.

Now that I think about it, even considering holiday get togethers, I've probably heard my "real" name less than 5 times in the past month.

[TGMarla]

Deborah, I have been tempted towards that idea all my life. But I came to the conclusion that that particular path is not the one I want my life to take. In coming to that decision, I have been much happier, and much more comfortable in my crossdressing. It's become much more fun, and much less of a weight to carry. But there is not a day that goes by when I don't have that ping of regret that I'm not female. But I'm not going to have SRS. I'm just not.

[jessielee]

Tempted might be too strong a word but I have of course thought about the idea. Thing is I love my wife and no where in my vows did it say "I will honor my vows . . . until I decide I just 'have to be me' and live life as a woman."
Add to that the fact that we have built a reasonably good life for us that I am not willing to throw away...

dear Deborah,
this question has been around a while yet i am glad you posted it.
like Kimberly and others, i am not tempted, because of choices made long ago, because of love.
but i wish i could have considered this long ago. things would have been quite different, i say sometimes. which begs the question; would i deny my children ever having been born if i could go back and do it differently?
upon reflection, i admit-no, i would not if i could.
even so, i feel tg, identifying as a woman inside. just one who's not going to do anything final about it. a chicken? perhaps, but for reasons of choice.
but my real question is;
they say that you are a crossdresser if you dress as the opposite gender. "opposite" clinically or opposite in identification?
am i "female" because i say i feel that way?
or because some silly tests rank me that way?
or is all this just useless fantasy. posturing and utterly laughable if not pathetic, from a technical standpoint?
friends, we can be shot down rationally, logically and clinically
so quickly. we are easy targets.
and can continue to dream and imagine.
and dress.
female or not, received or castigated,
this is heart over head.

[sometimes_miss]

Even referring to each other with feminine pronouns (as 99.9% of M2Fs here do) seems pretty odd if you're not going to admit to any TG feelings. I guess it's just semantics.

I try to address folks in whatever way they want to be addressed. I kind of find the references with opposite pronouns to get rather confusing, as you don't know who or what you are addressing after a while. I'm one of those who don't feel there is anything wrong with being a 'guy in a dress', so I don't mind people addressing me as 'he'. That's what I am, after all. For some, however, the need to identify as female makes them want to feel addressed as 'she' or 'her'. To each their own. The thing that I find kind of absurd is when they start slipping 'sissy' phrases into normal vocabulary, like 'tee hee', 'giggle', 'sweetie' etc., stuff that most women don't ever use. But then, some like it. To each their own. I have to respect that, even though I don't really like it.

Note my lack of "femme name."

I had to think about this for a bit also, before I created an avatar and a name for myself. It's simply easier to have a name for people to address you. 'Sometimes_miss' defines me; 'Lexi' gives you something to call me. As I didn't want to put up my real name here, I simply took a feminine nickname of the masculine name that I would have picked for myself if given the choice.

To answer the original question, then. For a long time, I thought I would be happier if I went for SRS, and became the girl I felt I was supposed to be. Over the years, and much, much research, I discovered why I crossdress and why I feel the way I do, and it's not because I was supposed to be a girl. In fact, the vast majority of 'me' is very, very male (as are probably many of the guys here). So, transitioning would be counterproductive. My crossdressing is an attempt to be pretty, and attractive, a result of being lonely and the stress that comes with that. I never felt the desire to crossdress when I'm in a woman's arms; only when I'm not, and when there doesn't appear any possibility of it happening in the relatively near future.

There is no way I could ever be the pretty female that I yearn to be when I'm dressing up. It's simply a physical impossibility. Also, I'm attracted to women, not men. Becoming a hulking MTF transsexual with unmistakable male body features would make me unattractive to pretty much every female on the planet, destroying any possibility of finding a girlfriend. At least as a somewhat normal male oh, say 90% of the time I have at least a remote chance. Women attracted to male crossdressers are much less than 1% of the female population; women attracted to MTF transexuals is a tiny fraction of that. Women attracted to transexual women who look like linebackers in a dress, I shudder to think of the numbers....oh, maybe, none? And so, no matter how much it seems like a nice dream, I have to remember that reality is a completely different thing. So, no transitioning for me. No SRS for me. I will dress up when I need, and hope and dream of an understanding woman out there for me somewhere, no matter how unlikely it may be (but I also buy lottery tickets). Because, you never know.

[Janie Gunn]

No, corrective surgery isnt something that I'd have, nor would I take hormones. I often wish I had boobs, but the consequences of going through with those things are too great, as I still hope to find a wife and then have kids. I like my male life too much to go all the way, so I just have to be happy dressing like a woman, without pluses or minuses!

[Patrice]

As to whether surgery is in my future, I cant say - I never have been able to plan that far ahead. I take my life one day at a time, always have and always will. But I am going ahead on the other half, took me a year to make up my mind and gather enough courage to do it, from here on out I will be living my life entirely in women's clothing, as a feminine person (notice I didn't say woman).

I have a deep and abiding hatred of labels, even as common language has brought us together it has also acted to keep us apart. Man/woman, black/white, TG/TS, Harvard/Yale, Conservative/Liberal, Masculine/Feminine - maybe it all just means I'm not a team player. I ignore and despise all that tripe, all Ive ever wanted to be is a simple 'ME'. Part of 'ME' is a person who subscribes to the general fashion and grooming practices commonly associated with the female of the species, but I am not trying to BE a woman - I'm just trying to be ME.

I could rant about this labels issue for hours Final note, I don't want to be taken for a lady, I don't desire for people t come up to me and say 'miss, ma'am, or 'ask the lady'. I don't want to change my name! I just want to be accepted for ME enough for people to say, "Hey Bill, how ya doing today? Nice skirt, where'd you get it?"


Final Final word, I know I used a label above (feminine person). Hated doing it, but thats language for you, cant use it without using labels - no matter how much you hate it.

[Christina Nicole]

If I was more aware of my situation before I was married, I'm 95% sure that I would have transitioned. Then I figured I was, to put it very, very simplistically the woman in my life because I had no other woman. Was that wishful thinking or self-delusion? I don't know. Later I realized that I was the woman in my life because I am her. I don't want to leave my wife, so I'm leaving my "her-self" for the lack of a better way of phrasing it. Bad choice either way, but it's better for us even if it might not be better for me alone.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[julie w]

To be successful at transitioning you have to look like a women built like
a women and have you own hair and have a career that you can work as being a women just because you have srs and implants
wont make people think you are a GG I have been fighting being TG
my whole life and have always wanted to be a women but I have to get on with
my life as a man

[Carole Cross]

I have dreamed of being a woman since the age of 12amd at 16 I nearly went through with it but something made me change my mind and I decided to live my life as a man.
I now realise that this was a mistake and I am now planning to go all the way. I know the journey will not be easy and that I could lose the support of my family but I am prepared for it, I hope.

[TSchapes]

Q: What's the difference between a cross-dresser and a transsexual?
A: Two Years!

Like many here, I have thought about it and when I was younger actually inquired about it. However I never got any guidance on it and through my own indifference, never pursued it. I wonder today what my life would've have turned out like?

However, I'm 55 and I can't see spending 2-3 years of my remaining 20 (if that's what I got) going through transition, upsetting my wife, son and family and spending all that money. Above all, I'm pragmatic. For me just to try and keep Father Time away, is costing me a fortune!

Something that keeps coming back to me though is the question: "Am I not more than just my gender(s)?"

I'm trying hard to keep my TG-ness in check.

-Tracy

[Danielle Hyatt]

Hi Deb


If that is what you really want than go for it. Just be sure that is what you want! Me on the otter hand I will nevr go thorugh it because it is not for me.

Plese PM me if u want.


Your Pal
Dan

[jessiejess112]

I've had fantasies about living as a Woman for a long time, and at certain times the urge is stronger. For example when I first started taking digital pictures of me as a female a few years ago and then posting them online. I really liked the positive comments and encouragement, and was seriously thinking about living as a Woman. But after all that initial excitement, I became preoccupied with other things in my personal life, and crossdressing took a back seat. Nowadays, sometimes I can go on for weeks without the need to dress, so I'm happy I didn't take any drastic steps. I know the urge will eventually come back stronger, but based on what happened in the past, I'm pretty sure transition is not for me.