is it common for cd's?

[crossdrezzer1]

Is it common for cd's to have very little friends,, reading these post I have gathered that many are friendless in real life,, I know I am,,I choose not to hang with the guys,,rather go to work,,do my job and return home asap, after doing this for many years my friends drifted apart and ,,well,,just plain gave up on me,, I prefer it that way and my wife says I need friends,,I prefer female friends because growing up I was the only boy in a family of all girls, not sure if that has anything to do with it but just get along better with females,relate better, I do think it would be nice to have a friend but have been out of practice for so long not sure if I know how to have one never less how to get one,,well at least I have all you to call friends....thanks for reading yet another thought of mine......

[linnea]

I have lots of casual friends and few very good friends. I enjoy the company of men and women, but I don't hang out a lot with any of them. However, I have a good time when I do hang out with them. At work, I'm sociable, but I don't hang out in the lunch room or at the water cooler.
I enjoy the company of women, especially when I'm in fem mode.

[Petra Bellejambes]

... pretty much like any group of people who have 1 important thing in common. I am sure there are complete and complusive social butterflys here in the forum, a handful of happy misanthropes and everything in between.

I have always been fortunate. A manageable number of really important friends from "both" gender groups, with different interests. Always happy to hibernate from crowds and company to recharge, but equally excited at what happens around people in general ...

[BobbiJ]

I used to have a lot of friends, but the older i get, the fewer i have. Today, there is one guy that i would say is truly a friend, and we have known each other since we were toddlers. Yet even he doesn't know about Bobbi, and i'm afraid that if he did, i'd have no male friends at all.

Pretty sad how fear paralyzes us, isn't it?

Socially, i prefer talking with women. With guys, about all i'm capable of talking about is sports. That's probably the only area in which i feel 100% in "boy mode," and nothing femme slips out, so i feel safe around them.

[Slip Affinity]

I have a fairly large circle of friends. None of them know about my favorite past time, tho.

[stephanie.ts]

Being only 25 I meet regularly with close friends from high school (I never made any close friends in college). Some know I'm transsexual, others simply understand that I enjoy feminine attire. Sometimes I dress as a guy, often I dress as a female. Although the friends themselves have fluctuated, the number has been pretty consistent for the last decade.

I agree with your wife that we all need people we feel connections with. Sometimes it's difficult because I spend so much time with my girlfriend I neglect others. Selfishly, even, when I want to complain about something, she's the only person who gets the earful, or, I keep it bottled up (especially if it's about her :wink. I am also part of a transgender support group and attend a m2f and crossdresser's therapy group weekly.

Overall I suppose some people are just more reclusive than others, and don't need many friends to feel fulfilled.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

That is somewhat true - other than my spouse, my only friends of JoAnne are you sisters on this website.

In my male mode, I have fellow worker friends, small group friends, choir friends, but they all seem to be casual

I wish I could come out to everyone, so I did not have to keep my friends away so JoAnne can have time

I can't come out because of both my spouse and my male self's positions in the community

Love,

JoAnne Wheeler

[Annaliese]

I am much like you, I would rather be by my self or with my wife, when I go riding it is by my self most of the time this bothers my wife because last year me and my horse got in some wire and we were both cut up bad.

Annaliese

[joann426]

i have friends eslecially my sisters they help me out a lot they know about my crossdressing and they are cool with it it isnice to have sisters like that

[Karren H]

Well my wife and I are like BFF... So were together most of the time.. And I have a lot of friends through work but we really don't hang out a lot.. I'll go over and help someome out or we'll go out to lunch.. Then there's all of you girls!!! Lol. And I have a bunch of friends on the makeup site I mod...

But I'm certanly not a hermit....

[PretzelGirl]

As someone else said, you will find all cuts of life here. In another thread, someone wanted to know if CD usually meant OCD also. To me CD is just a trait. So when you see it pop up enough, you will see it in hockey players ( ), police officers, politicians, etc. So if you want to find someone with a particular trait or job that is also a CD, I say it shouldn't be a problem.

[Janie Gunn]

I have many more friends now than in my younger years (in my teens and twenties it wasnt viable to be as sociable). Because I'm a regular at a number of pubs/in the local band scene, I've got plenty of friends, always making new friends. Some of those friends are aware that I'm a tranny but I've also made a number of new friends in recent weeks who are transgender, gay or lesbian.

[Melinda G]

You have few real friends in life, and lots of acquaintances. My close buddy got married and moved out of state some years ago. My last relationship ended a few years ago. But I don't mind. I dress around the house, most of the time now, when I'm home. And I don't need people dropping by unexpectedly. It's bad enough when the UPS guy rings the bell now and then, but I'm usually expecting something, and I'm ready when he comes.

[docrobbysherry]

You have few real friends in life, and lots of acquaintances. I dress around the house, most of the time now, when I'm home. And I don't need people dropping by unexpectedly.

I agree Melinda. I stay in touch with my "friends". But don't need to hang out with them! Aquaintances come and go.

Who has time for anyone else? I have my daughter part time. When she's not here, I'm either dressing, or working on CD paraphinalia! Or, online!

[sandra-leigh]

I've pretty much always been a social outsider, right back to kindergarten, long long before I had any idea about cross-dressing. I was different -- intelligent, introverted, and poor at sports -- so I was either teased to the point of cruelty (by kids who didn't realize what they were doing), or I was mostly ignored.

It was a hard life for a kid, but it gave me inner strength: since I knew that I was being good, if others didn't care to associate with me, it was because of something in them.

So I grew up a non-conformist, in the sense of researching and thinking about things for myself and acting as seemed proper to me and for me, rather than acting for popularity or for money.

Along the way, for no reason I have ever been able to determine, I got called a "fag" many times, often by total strangers passing by, including when I was wearing stereotypical male clothes (e.g., lumberjack shirt) within 3 minutes of having my hair cut short by an old-school barber. Thus I developed a strong sense of "What do I care what other people assume of me based solely upon my appearance?".

Hence when I realized I was a cross-dresser, going out in public was relatively easy for me: I already knew that people were going to make quick arbitrary judgments based upon their inner hells, and I was no stranger to being called names by the ignorant. And the really odd thing about it all was that it turns out that when I'm cross-dressed or gender-bending, that more people are friendly to me! Some of that is likely a reflection of me smiling more now, but there must be other factors in there somewhere.


But getting back to the topic of "friends": even now, in my late 40's, literally tens of thousands of people know of me (I answer a lot of technical questions on the internet), but I have few friends. Unfortunately I moved away from the city of my high-school / university friends, and some of them moved in turn, and they don't bother to keep in touch with me -- or much in touch with each other either, for the most part. And at my job... well, it wasn't my job to be friendly to people, it was my job to (as fairly as possible all around) do the (many) hard technical things that had to be done. And no-body notices the things that don't break, only the things that do break (and if you are a tech able to do "more with less", they will reduce your budget until things break. ) Eventually I burned out... and discovered cross-dressing while recovering from that, and in engaging in it, have met a slew of friendly acquaintances that I would never have known otherwise.

[Jess_cd32]

I've always been kind of a loner also by choice and wondered about this and cd's recently myself. I've had alot of male friends over the years depending where I was working at the time and we used to go clubbing alot and do other things but I wasn't the type to ask people over to visit regularly etc... I like my free time to myself more.

For the most part though I've always had closer and more meaningfull friendships with females for some reason, why I don't really know, I can just relate to them better. I also like cd's more as friends than just regular guys as we'll have a lot more in common.

[Toni_Lynn]

I prefer to have only a small number of very close friends rather than a large number of casual friends. Just the way I am.

In high school I had almost no friends. The one I did have where the 'weirdos' (not my words). One guy later did come out as gay in his 20s, and then died of aids.

The one thing I found to be ironic is how many of the 'popular' kids, the 'most likely to succeed' ones -- burned out early. One I know, who I was friends with, went on to become a lawyer. I saw him at our 20 year reunion. He became a right prat and went on about how women where all b****es and needed to be slapped around.

My wife and I are the same in this regard -- as far as friends in high school etc -- and so I guess that's why our love is so intense. As k d lang sings 'maybe some great magnetic pulls all things toward true'

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Christine Hanes]

I have a few close friends. But most are work related friendships, coworkers and the like. My wife and I have very few close friends, but the ones we do are dear to us. For the most part, much like you, I am ok with doing my own thing alone or with my wife.

[maid phylis]

this is a correct statement ,all my friends are crossdressers and i consider them my girlfriends.and they are the loveliest people on the planet. phylisanne

[Shari]

You're not alone.
Most everything I've read that attempts to profile a crossdresser usually includes the fact that they are all pretty much loners.
You can file me in that category too. Pretty much have always been that way, not because of the dressing, but just a personal preference.
My golfing buddies are as far as it goes. I do not hang with the guys other than in my golf leagues.
There are also many acquaintances from my work and that's where it ends.
My wife is my best friend and really my only true friend. She's also the only one who knows about Shari, other than you girls here.
Does this help?

[Carole Cross]

I have never had more than a feew friends in my life because I have always felt different to others. On New Years Eve I went to a local group meeting and met a lot of people like me. So in the next few months I hope to make many of them friends.

[queenie]

I'm definitely not the loner type. I've got a pretty wide circle of friends and a few really good ones. The ones that know i dress i can count on one hand.

I just don't have any friends that CD. I've met a fellow dresser once, but that was kind of awkward. She wanted to go shopping and I only do that away from home. I know too many people to get outed that way! We hit a couple stores that day and wouldn't you know it, I almost ran smack dab into my mom. Luckily I spotted her first!

[Sarah89]

I have a small circle of friends, really only close to 5 of them , and everybody else I hang with are usually friends of theirs.
I must admit , I find it really hard to sociallise, I dont know how to interact with people etc.
But i dont think it is anything related to cd'ing

[Jonianne]

Socially, I also have been pretty much a loner most of my life.

[ColleenPDX]

I've always had a fair number of friends, but I think that having to hide my CD'ing from people has always made me keep them at arm's length. I guess we all have secrets, but it bothers me that I have to hide this part of me. I've always told the women I've been romantically involved with, but I've never been brave enough to let others know. No matter how close a friend someone is there is always the fear that they would freak out.