Wow, have I ever been there - married almost 38 years to wonderful GG - she has known about my need to CD for 37 years. We have had some good and a lot of bad moments over my CDing.
This year, JoAnne resurfaced after 12 years of hiding - my Spouse took it hard at first --- and then, she saw what my struggle with crossdressing was doing to me .
The URGE/DESIRE came back with a furry ! Itried to suppress it - well that didn't work. I became:
1) extremely depressed,
2) extremely anxious,
3) extremely irritable,
4) could not concentrate,
5) lost interest in everything (except needing to CD)
6) became physically sick,
7) had suicidal thoughts,
8) was in a daze - later found out it was the pink fog.
I was really down - if I did not or could not return to CDing, then I did not see how I could go on.
My Spouse realized for the first time how deeply the CDing is within us and how it affects us if we can't express these desires. She finnaly realized that I did not ask to be a CDer - I was born that way - she realized that JoAnne had to have a life or the man she married was dead.
I could not explain to her why I had this URGE/DESIRE to crossdress - I just knew that I did and it was not going to go away - I finnaly accepted the fact that I was a crossdresser - now I am proud of it !
My Spouse has been helpful in JoAnne's return - its not perfect, but it is a workable situation - I may not be able to shave or wax all of my body hair off and dress like so many of you do, but I still have my Spouse and I still have JoAnne and all of us live in the same house .
Last year was both rocky and rewarding all at the same time. I love my Spouse, but both she and I know that JoAnne has to have her space .
I love all of of you Sisters,
JoAnne Wheeler
