Kelli, here's a ponderous thought:
As long as we blame, we effectively rob ourselves of our own empowerment.
Stop blaming your wife or anyone else for the situation. Talk with her. Forgive her for her intractable stance. Forgive yourself for yours. Know that you are both forgiven.
Only then you will both truly be free to begin to seek a solution to the problem.
At the moment, both of you are stuck.
