Leaps of Faith

[Sara Jessica]

I've written of my wonderful wife here and there. She has been aware of my TG issues since before we were married although the depth of this was only revealed within the last few years. We remain deeply in love and bless her heart she works so hard to get her head around this. Whether she moves beyond her current state of tolerance and boarderline acceptance remains to be seen. That's not so much a concern now, I really have nothing to complain about.

There's so much said in here about disclosure and states of being in our relationships. But think about what it takes for a significant other who struggles with being with one of us to put up with the whole thing. Here are some issues which come to mind with mine.

• Running interference (calling before returning home, fibs about where I'm at when on outings, etc.) lest family &/or friends find out about what hubby is up to.
• Having no one to talk to about this, her choice but reality nonetheless.
• Her own feelings about whether anyone out there perceives anything TG about me because of presentation of shaved legs, longish fingernails at times, ever so slightly groomed eyebrows, etc.
• And the ultimate leap of faith, accepting the fact I enjoy being out and about and worrying for my safety and that someone we know would recognize me.

This last one springboards into something that is beyond a leap for her, giving me her blessing so that I can attend Diva Las Vegas for several days in girl mode. Any worries she might typically harbour during one of my regular outings will be compounded exponentially. What can I do or say to help alleviate what she is about to experience? SO reples would be particularly helpful of course but I'd love to hear some advice from anyone who has experience with these sort of things.

[DonnaT]

This last one springboards into something that is beyond a leap for her, giving me her blessing so that I can attend Diva Las Vegas for several days in girl mode. Any worries she might typically harbour during one of my regular outings will be compounded exponentially. What can I do or say to help alleviate what she is about to experience?

Ask her to go with you. Tell her you don't like the idea of her fretting over what may be happening in Vegas, and would really like for her to go and meet others in the trans community.

My wife got to know some of the ladies I knew, and it went a long way to easing her mind.

[sissystephanie]

Sara,

DonnaT gave you some very good advice! Take your wife to Las Vegas with you and let her meet some other girls.

You did the right thing in telling her before you married, and you are lucky she accepted things as they are. Maybe you are pushing a little hard now!

I consider myself to be "only" a Crossdresser! I have no desire whatsoever to be a woman, so do not consider myself to be either a TG or a TS. I dress becasue I like feminine clothing! Nothing more! My late wife knew this before we were married, and fully supported me for the over 40 years we had together. She like Stephanie almost as much as she liked my male persona! We had a lot of fun together, and you and your wife can do the same. Take her to Vegas, but stay away from the slot machines! That money can be better spent on some new clothes for both Stephanie and your wife!!

[Nora]

HI Sara:

Your wife is someone special. I am sure it was not easy for her to give you the OK to go to the DLV this week. I am sure she had misgivings, doubt and uncertainty.

I too have been throught this for many years. My wife still refuses to go with me but is finally accepting that my dressing is not to be confused with any sexuality issues.

I would suggest that she meet and /or talk to other CDs and especially wives. There are several forums where this is possible the best of which is probably the CDSO forum of Tri-Ess.

http://www.tri-ess.org/spice/CDSO/CDSO.htm

Only wives, girlfriends or SOs are allowed on the forum. We are barred.

Should your wife prefer our Tri-Ess chapter here in Las Vegas has a wives membership that will be happy to talk to her. Should you and your wife plan on visiting Las Vegas you are both invited to come to one of our meetings.

I am so glad that you had a good time during Diva week and especially happy that I met you while you were here.

Nora

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This last one springboards into something that is beyond a leap for her, giving me her blessing so that I can attend Diva Las Vegas for several days in girl mode. Any worries she might typically harbour during one of my regular outings will be compounded exponentially. What can I do or say to help alleviate what she is about to experience? SO reples would be particularly helpful of course but I'd love to hear some advice from anyone who has experience with these sort of things.[/QUOTE]