When your out there !

[Shikyo]

You know, I read here all the time about passsing. Alot of gurlz say it's your attitude. You know what? That's a load of crap!! If you look like a man dressed as a woman, you do not pass. Period. You may or may not get ridiculed. That's the way it is. Some areas of the states are more transgender friendly than others. But the bottom line is that if this is the road you intend on following........be prepared for some rough patches. Some may even have huge potholes!. Now what really gets my panties twisted is how I have personally seen lesbian couples where one is definately butch, dressed in male clothes, male hair cut, trying to be a MALE and nobody even pays attention. I mean don't get me wrong, it's great, but again, what twists my panties is the fact that nobody pays attention to this, but if a guy walks around dressed in womens clothes...........OMG the world is going to end!!

I don't think any of us said just having the right attitude is enough to pass as it is not. Having the right attitude just makes it easier to pass. You walk around thinking you are a guy, despite the girlie clothes you will behave like a guy. Instead walking around thinking that you are a girl you will also behave more girlie. We all aim to "pass"; we all also had times where it just wasn't possible.
When you look around when you are walking one can see rather masculine looking girls that really are girls. Does anyone annoy them, no.

In the end, what is passing? What does it really mean? A genetic male will never be able to pass as a girl 100% in all situation, it is just not possible, because of the chromosomes his carrying. Having a an F in your ID card while having a human created vagina, is that passing? I don't think that is the point of passing at all. Passing should be nothing else that you can enjoy what you are the way you are dressed without people annoying you or giving nasty comments at you. All those people you pass outside, most of them you'll never even really see again, so what is the point of actually caring if they really think you are a girl as long as they live you alone and treat you nicely.
Because of this I think the attitude you have is a big part of if you can pass or not. If you can't behave naturally in femme clothes, you cannot really pass ever no matter how girlie you look like. The body language is a big part of our lives, we all have learned how to read it, even though no one has thought it to us. When someones unsure or nervous or whatever it can be often read by many other people. That leads to complications and nasty comments as the other people think they are better than you are etc. So to pass as a girl one has to look "passable" with that I mean there's not five o'clock shadow, using feminine cloths etc. also the body language has to fit the sex you are representing as the body language is different for males and females, if you haven't noticed.

What I'm trying to say here is that even if you are a genetic girl and you would totally behave like a male someone would suspect her being a crossdresser, even though she isn't one.

[Kristen Kelly]

I don't think any of us said just having the right attitude is enough to pass as it is not. Having the right attitude just makes it easier to pass. You walk around thinking you are a guy, despite the girlie clothes you will behave like a guy. Instead walking around thinking that you are a girl you will also behave more girlie. We all aim to "pass"; we all also had times where it just wasn't possible.

In the end, what is passing? What does it really mean? A genetic male will never be able to pass as a girl 100% in all situation, it is just not possible. . Passing should be nothing else that you can enjoy what you are the way you are dressed without people annoying you or giving nasty comments at you. Because of this I think the attitude you have is a big part of if you can pass or not. If you can't behave naturally in femme clothes, you cannot really pass ever no matter how girlie you look like. The body language is a big part of our lives, we all have learned how to read it, even though no one has thought it to us. When someones unsure or nervous or whatever it can be often read by many other people. That leads to complications and nasty comments as the other people think they are better than you are etc. So to pass as a girl one has to look "passable" with that I mean there's not five o'clock shadow, using feminine cloths etc. also the body language has to fit the sex you are representing as the body language is different for males and females, if you haven't noticed.

What I'm trying to say here is that even if you are a genetic girl and you would totally behave like a male someone would suspect her being a crossdresser, even though she isn't one.

[SIZE="3"] You said what I've been saying all along a guy in a dress is a guy in a dress. When I'm dressed and most times even in "DRAB" "I am a WOMAN." I can be out in nothing more than woman's jeans, my own long hair, no makeup be acting and presenting myself as a woman and get missed and maamed. Is that attitude maybe, but I feel I belong where I am, dressed as I am, and act like I do. Treat me as a woman. I have had an arregant guy call me "sir" and a young GG get in my face as to why I shouldm't be doing this, can't say it didnt rattle me a bit but made me stronger and easier to handle the next occurrence. I think it is more the confidence I have than the attitude that makes it easier to step out and me myself. I know if I wanted I could go fulltime, my mind is in the right place my look good enough to get me through, but at this point I feel I am not driven enought to make the commitment to handle all the possible problems, with a few more benifits I don't have now.[/SIZE]

[gennee]

[SIZE="3"]One thing I've learned is that you meet all kinds. Living in New York City, I've heard everything from 'ma'am' to 'sick' and everything in between. It's doesn't stop me though.

Gennee[/SIZE]

[shirley1]

Hi,

Part of the problem is accepting yourself I think I have now today finally. I went out earlier and did andro, ie probably looked male, well mens jeans and jacket, but other than that all female clothing including breast forms, yes I forgot to take them out ! Then again I have got a nice pair of AA sized one's going on now anyway thanks to hormones.

The woman serving me in the local shop recognised me, I had a hat on instead of a wig ! She said you look much better as a girl ! Ok so I took it as a compliment I mean I obviously look like a guy normally. You do have to be tough to live this life full time that's for sure, I thought about this some time ago, to pass convincingly as a woman you would really have to struggle or not be able to pass as a man, there is no in between, males and females look different, and clothes alone won't change that completely they might well help a bit and confuse a few people.

But ultimately people see what they see, and you can't really change that, but most people are ok, I don't get too many problems to be honest, its just that I made a decision to go full time, including working as a female and I didn't stop to think about how some people might react towards you in everyday life, I just thought I looked good enough to pass really well, and perhaps I do compared to some, but some can read me, look at it this way have the confidence to go out there and change societies expectations is a gift, if you can do that then progress is being made, and it will only change if some of us have the guts to do something about it and get out there !

[DaphneGrey]

I am sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time right now, I guess your feeling a little let down right now, I know those feelings and they suck! For once I have no advice but I know where you are coming from.

[Lorna]

I have not attempted to go out, let alone "pass" (which I certainly couldn't) and this is because, even if I set aside the likelihood of being seen by someone I know followed by all the consequences for me and my family, there are just too many potentially risky places and people around. I live in a rural, peaceful part of the UK but travel frequently all over Britain including the major cities. I never worry about assaults, confrontations, etc. but even as an unremarkable male, I frequently see people I would want to keep away from and I am aware of plenty of areas I would think twice about going in to, especially at certain times of day. Even in the area where I live, I am conscious that the populous generally are very intolerant - of minorities of all kinds. I hear plenty of unpleasant comments (of the kind that would be actionable if published) about everyone from the French or Americans to "coloured" or Asian or gay or....any group you care to name. It's one thing to encounter such primitive views when one is in a position to ignore them and walk away but there are plenty of people (mainly young-ish, males and females, who in the right circumstances (often drink or drug-fuelled) get pleasure from actively seeking out targets for attack, usually verbally but all-too-often physically. Such targets would undoubtedly include crossdressers,

The UK may give the impression of being multi-cultural and tolerant but, sadly, the reality "on the street" is very different. I would not want anyone to be hurt because they believed the rhetoric and failed to take precautions.

[Sheila]

Debs did her second trip out in daylight Thursday, the first time we went out we went with friends (who are forum members here), to a very busy garden centre, we wandered round looking at things, I took pics of her in the garden centre, we ate lunch in the resturant (very busy), was she "MADE", yup, as one friend and I were stood in queue to collect our lunch, Debs and the other friend went and sat at a table waiting for us, Debs was spoted by a lady a few tables away who did stare, Debs just looked back and smiled, the lady had the good grace to look away, we were spotted/made a few times that day, partly because we did walk around hand in hand most of the time, but not once we any of us subjected to rudeness, hostility or any negativity.

Thursday Debs and I went out for the day, the hardest part for her being getting from my house to the car, after that the rest of the day was realtively simple (unless you count her taking 4 wrong turnings something male Debs would not do), we had a picnic where we got engaged in January, we choose Thursday for Debs to recieve her ring from Sheila, & while we were there, we talked to a lady who took the picture I have as my current Avatar, as we chatted I introduced us as Debs and Sheila, she took our pic and offered to take another at a slightly different angle ........ did she "MAKE" Debs I am sure she did .......... did she give a damn, nope she did not, did she makes Debs's day ............. she surely did, others people passed by us walking their dog and close ........... about 4 feet away did they see us, yup and smiled a friendly smile, no double take, no smirking, nothing other than a polite smile.

We then met our friends and went to KFC to eat at around 5pm, nobody screamed, stared, or made us feel uncomfortable, not even the group of six tennagers who came in and sat at the table next to us just as we finished our meal, they did not even so much as glance at us (or DEbs and our friend), as we left.

pictures of those incidents on Thursday can be found here [SIZE="6"]Debs's[/SIZE]