Tired of the term crossdresser

[Jazzmine]

I am like you - I'm not a great one for labels.

However they do have their place - e.g. the term crossdresser alerted me to this web site a few years ago which has had a positive influence on my life.

So I guess labels are good for describing what we do but they don't tell everything about who we are ... that's up to the individual to determine and express for themselves.

The negative side of general labels like "crossdresser" is that we, as individuals, are apt to lose our individuality in a sea of mixed messages and connotations that the label generates.

This is the burden we bear, like it or lump it!

Hugs Jazzmine.

[sometimes_miss]

A rose by any other name.......

[Sonia Greene]

It's a problem I identify with!

The whole world, meaning everyone, at some stage, would see dressers out frequently. It's up to ALL of us (that can) to go out, then we will be part of the community at large

Then it will be no longer___weird!

Sonia

If you require a label...what about (although a bit clumsy.....)
Nowom(b)an

[KayleeB]

I am still new to all this, having only really dressed for a couple of months, but I still need to find who I can identify with. I'm not a TS as I feel perfectly happy with being a man. I MAY be TG, bridging genders, but I just like the way I feel and look in womens clothes. It doesnt make me want to BE or act like a GG, although I have seen with some that is the case. At the moment i need a label or two just to help me with the way I feel, and to find the appropriate places to find said help (COUGH site name)... Having said that we are all human and all have our names to help identify us. I am Kaylee here, just as validly as I am G***** elsewhere. There is a diversity, even in our community. I have seen this in the short time I have been here. We should just be comfortable with who we are. I know I'm not lol... YET:2c:

[ReineD]

IThey're not labels, dammit, they're words. The dictionaries are full of them. Each word is a tool (not a weapon)

Hear, hear!

The terms we use only describe general categories and they are not meant to encapsulate everything about everyone. That comes when people get to know one another and they share specifics about themselves.

The negative side of general labels like "crossdresser" is that we, as individuals, are apt to lose our individuality in a sea of mixed messages and connotations that the label generates.

This could be said about anything though ... male, female, scientist, wife, homosexual, type A personality, boyfriend, C-student, ex convict, rape victim, coulrophobic , deist, democrat. They are all very general categories and they are not expected to convey in a single word what someone is all about.

As Katie pointed out, a general term is not an attack. Members of the TG community may shy away from identifying who they are or what they do, but the terms are helpful for members outside of the community so they can understand what the TG holds dear ... and RESPECT it. How sad is it when someone denies who s/he is to someone they are getting to know for fear of ... WHAT? Aren't they saying they are ashamed of who they are? I'm not suggesting everyone should shout it out from the rooftops if they don't want to, but IMO it is good for everyone to have a basic understanding of who they are and what they believe in.

We could all shout to the world "I am ME" and dispense with racial, religious, political, cultural, gender, sexual, or professional identification, but this wouldn't help any of us communicate to others where we come from or what we are all about.

Being transgendered means just what it says. Someone who transcends society's current understanding of binary gender.

:2c:

[Nicki B]

Surely words can be used as weapons?

Calling an MTF who has GD 'Sir' may, or may not, as above, be meant to offend - but it certainly always has the power to wound.

How many threads here have demonstrated that previously, so it's a shame when we now do it to each other.


The question, to me, is is 'crossdresser' really the best word to describe most of us?

It simply describes a behaviour, nothing more - and it certainly can carry negative connotations (just as the 'n' word does). Personally, I prefer Trans, transgender, T-folk - they describe who we are, not just what and they don't carry the same baggage?

So, permit some of us to feel uncomfortable when others use the 'CD' label about us.


Shame we can't have a poll - but even a minority deserve to have their views respected?

[Shelly Preston]

Surely words can be used as weapons?

Words can certainly be used as weapons

How many time do we see hurtful comments made to others

kids do it to others and adults certainly do

[ReineD]

So, permit some of us to feel uncomfortable when others use the 'CD' label about us.

Nicki, I don't know if you were responding to my post (you did not quote and your post was directly under mine), but if you were I am sorry if my remarks offended you.

I agree with you. If someone doesn't self-identify as a CD they should make corrections if they are referred to as a CD by someone in the community or if they are 'sirred' by anyone else. My concern is for people who are unwilling to use any self-descriptive word to identify themselves.

My SO and I went to a GLBT prom a few weeks ago. While she was getting drinks, the father of the person organizing the event asked my SO her name. When she told him, he said, "No. I meant your REAL name." My SO told him that she prefers to be addressed by the name she told him. This conversation did not involve any descriptive terms, but the principle is the same.

Another time we were in a restaurant and the busboy called her Sir as he attended us. We both felt it was not done to offend, as it was likely the reaction of a naive young man picking up subtle gender cues who was not well versed in gender protocol. My SO chose to let it go, since the incident happened in a flash and the busboy was quickly gone. I am sure if she had felt it was done in malice, or even if there had been time to make the correction, she would have done so.

[Nicki B]

Nicki, I don't know if you were responding to my post (you did not quote and your post was directly under mine), but if you were I am sorry if my remarks offended you.

No hun, no offence perceived, or taken..


The offence can be taken when others apply labels to you - the 'of course we're all blokes in frocks' type of comments?

I'm sorry, but we're not - or, at least, not all of us. There are other possibilities other than that, and born as female - plenty of us here are proof.

[ReineD]

The offence can be taken when others apply labels to you - the 'of course we're all blokes in frocks' type of comments?

Well ... if anyone here really thinks this way, they need to take a little stroll into all the other forums outside the M2F. :rolleyes:

One would think in a forum such as this, that all members would have the open-mindedness to acknowledge there are other members with different POVs. Shame on those who are not mindful of differences!

[Marisa_M]

I tend not to worry about such things I'm a girl at heart and that's all I need to know.
Angie

Angie's words are exactly what I feel.
I liked also another definition I heard from a friend in another forum and it was "non genetic woman".
I hate to be labeled but the term "crossdresser" is not the more offensive we can hear until there is another new definition to fit us.

[Deb The Brunette]

I hate to be labeled but the term "crossdresser" is not the more offensive we can hear until there is another new definition to fit us.

Well that's exactly what I meant, I just said it in a more insidious manner to make the point



.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Thanks to everyone who responded - I kind of like the term "Non-Genetic Girl"
Instead of using CD, maybe I (we) could start using NGG or N-GG.

JoAnne Wheeler

[Nicki B]

Instead of using CD, maybe I (we) could start using NGG or N-GG.

Or T-girl - or TG?? :D

[MiraM]

I don't care much for the label crossdresser myself. To me, I am a female, just one that was unlucky enough to be born in a male body. I was on HRT at one point, and living full time as my true self, but due to medical issues, I was forced to end my transition. I am still fully Alicia on the inside and always will be, but have to present as male and only outwardly show Alicia when I can. I guess you could label me as Transsexual or Transgendered, but I prefer just to be labeled as me.

[Jaclyn NM]

I don't really care what the name is that describes me. I love to wear female clothing, so if that means I'm a cross dresser, than so be it, as Popeye once said "I am what I am", and I guess I'm a crossdresser. Whatever, it doesn't change who I really am or what defines me. I will continue to dress as I choose, and enjoy my life.

[leia]

I guess I am a cross dresser, When I if ever put on mens clothes (which I only have there shirts ever thing else are girls) I feel like I am crossdressing. the rest of the time I am a woman even if not decked out all the way.

[Rachel05]

Well i have only recently got my head into a place where I will allow myself to use the word cross dresser, I kicked against it in my head for ever, but now I accept me for what I am and I am a man that loves dressing in womens clothing, so I accept I cross dress now and I for one am happy to be here, more than happy in fact, so form e the term is a little new in my life, therefore I will stick with it for now

[Patty-Fay]

This has been a very interesting thread, especially to me - being new around these parts.

I have struggled for years to understand this quality about me that compels me to (occasionally) adopt the appearance of a woman. If the definition of "crossdresser" accurately defines this quality, I'm perfectly fine with that.

If "crossdresser" is simply defined to be the characterstic we have of dressing up in the clothing, and adopting the general appearance, of a member of the opposite sex, what is the problem here?

Other labels also accurately identify various of my qualities or characteristics. e.g. I'm of Moravian ancestry, with a Czech surname; I'm a white male; brown hair, blue eyes; visually myopic; an IT analyst; a Texan; a Beatles fan; ...and a crossdresser (with exquisite tastes, I might add! All the labels correctly apply, despite the fact that they do not define ME. They just identify a characteristic.