The Domino Effect of Outing Yourself

[Sammy777]

After reading all this - here are some things to consider.

1] Having any sort of guys in drag day at work is a bad idea.
Why? Well there will be you [the undercover pro] looking good surrounded by guys in beards and ugly dresses.
Granted a few with the help of their Wifes/GF's/ect might not look half bad, but again you will deff be a stand out that day.

2] Halloween - well like it or not, it sounds like the choice has already been made for you.
Basically with the number of girls in the know and probably more by then you will be upsetting the apple cart if you don't do it.

2a] You do have a choice in one part of it.
To keep up the "halloween story" or open up that closet door a bit more. If you want to still keep downplaying it remember this. Be sure you use the same wig and shoes in those pics, lol. More then one of either will be another tell tale sign of more going on then a past one time thing.

3] While it is nice of the girls to offer, you always have your wife to fall back on as the one who did you up.
So just feel free to show up all done up.

3a] Maybe instead of the "dressed as a women" "costume" you can go the extra distance and pick out a female costume, might as well go whole hog right?

4] As far as the first girl you told.... You say she isnt the brightest bulb in the box, but you do have to give her credit for one thing. It seems that she is only informing other girls who are like minded or receptive to it.

5] To act or not to act that is question....
Be yourself, your inner self. Remember you have done this "once" before so you have your sea-legs. Don't play it down or dumb it up, they will probably be able to see through that even faster. lol.
If for nothing else you can always slip out a "I dusted off those heels and have been practicing" into the next conversation.

6] Face it - they may not know the whole story, but those girls know something is up, as of writing this thread you are/were basically out at work to some degree.
I would try not come out any more at work [at least before halloween] but I would try to step away from adding on to the crazy friend story. Let it go because if you want to come out more, keeping that story up is going to bite you in the ass later on.

7] Once everyone else gets to see you [halloween] you can always fill in the core group of just how deep the rabbit hole goes.

7a] Again - Do not underestimate that girl! Having friends like her doing the legwork for you is a good thing. She has a handle on who will be cool with it and it saves you from having to do it. Some times it is just better to have or let others slowly out you to people.

The only way 3 people can keep a secret is if the other 2 are dead. LOL.
All this may have started out with a slip of the tongue, but you probably were ready to let it out on some unconscious level already. And out there it is.

[Kathi Lake]

Samantha,

Thanks for a very good, very detailed reply. Lots to think about.

First, you are right. Though she may be a bit of a dim bulb, she is a woman - and has a lifetime of experience in being just that. She has the intuitive nature to know who she can tell, and those who she shouldn't. I guess I will continue to trust her instincts.

Right now, her big thing is that I agreed to go to her next Girls Night Out as a girl. That may even be before Halloween. We'll see how that goes.

You were also correct on me wanting to let the secret out on either a conscious or unconscious level. It sure would be nice not to have to pretend.

Sigh.

Kathi

[Miranda09]

Samantha,

Thanks for a very good, very detailed reply. Lots to think about.

First, you are right. Though she may be a bit of a dim bulb, she is a woman - and has a lifetime of experience in being just that. She has the intuitive nature to know who she can tell, and those who she shouldn't. I guess I will continue to trust her instincts.

Right now, her big thing is that I agreed to go to her next Girls Night Out as a girl. That may even be before Halloween. We'll see how that goes.

You were also correct on me wanting to let the secret out on either a conscious or unconscious level. It sure would be nice not to have to pretend.

Sigh.

Kathi

Just remember Kathi...how ever you handle this particular situation, if you do go thru with it, just let your personality take over and have a good time. The girls night out sounds like fun and, of course, Halloween is right around the corner so that could provide some added opportunity to leak your secret out. I wish I could tag along and give some moral support.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

You probably put a lot of of hard graft into helping the world construct that cage. But do really want to spend the rest of your life just sitting there admiring your handy-work?

And aren't you a very insightful badger, well said. The cage sucks, well to be more accurate, it sucks for me.

Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.
Every girl crazy bout a sharp dressed badger.

[Dana]

As a retired US Marine ~ don't do it. Should you stumbled and fumble in another area (and it doesn't have to be you ~ just someone under your chain of command) it can and will be used against you.

[Sammy777]

Samantha,

Thanks for a very good, very detailed reply. Lots to think about.

Right now, her big thing is that I agreed to go to her next Girls Night Out as a girl. That may even be before Halloween. We'll see how that goes.

Kathi

Hi Kathi
Yes I was in a long winded mood, lol, but your very welcome.

As far as the girl night out goes.
I would say do it.
I think going out with some of the girls will be good for you and give you a time and place to be able to talk more freely [outside of work] about you.

Just get the where, when and who else with in advance.
I don't think you want to be surprised to where and end up at one of "his" stomping grounds.

And just remember to have fun! :D