Smoking is a bad habit that damages health. Crossdressing is not. Agreed the absolute best thing to do is to tell a partner at the beginning of a relationship and give the partner a choice as to whether or not she wants to commit to marriage with a CD. Anyone under 35 today, IMO, has no excuse not to tell before hand. There are so many resources on the internet to help TGs come to terms with who they are, unlike what it was like when Michelle was beginning her married life. And even Michelle said earlier that when she married she thought it would go away. She had no benefit of a forum such as this to know otherwise.Originally Posted by kellycan27
I am not making Michelle's wife out to be a bad guy. Of course she has the right to not like the CDing. If Michelle developed any condition that was difficult to deal with (health-wise), then Michelle's wife would have the right to not like that either. But it doesn't mean they, as a couple, wouldn't have to deal with it. They would not be expected to pretend "it" didn't exist. They would find ways to have both their needs met.
I have learned, in my 30 odd years of adulthood that no one has the right to tell someone else who they should be. Michelle's wife can only control her own actions, which would be to leave the marriage if she cannot stomach who her husband is. Again, if Michelle got into an accident and suffered debilitating physical changes, her wife would have the right to not like that too and leave. But, one would hope after 20 or 30 years of marriage, there would be a bit more compassion, a bit more loyalty. We are talking about Michelle's right to express who she inherently is, who she always was even though she may not have known it, who Michelle's wife fell in love with all these years ago; all the character and personality traits that were there all along. Not issues such as smoking, gambling, drinking, drugging, womanizing or wife-beating.
Michelle has not said she will stop being a husband to her wife. Michelle does not want to force her wife to participate in, or even see Michelle. Michelle only wants the dignity to not have to lie and sneak around about who she is. Now if Michelle wanted to stop being her wife's husband physically and emotionally, then you would have a point. But as far as I can see, Michelle's wife is not required to be exposed to anything she does not want to be exposed to.
Having said all this, no one in this forum can judge the delicate balance between Michelle and her wife. It will be up to them to prioritize their needs and strike the balance wherever it may fall. I sincerely hope they can work it out.
