Well tomorrow would have been my 8th anniversaryMy wife left me last week stating that she couldn't handle my CD (only undergarments in private) and toy fun. She actually encouraged he the last time I did it.
I just talked to her and she said she's filing for divorce.. I'm so sad.. In a rural country town, there's no hope of finding someone to love someone like me..
Sorry to hear.
I'm sure it is very hard for you, and therefore my deep sympathies.
I'm also sure it's hard for her, but you & her being in a rural community, I would assume that there is not much gain in her world by having a cd'ing husband. Look at the situation form her perspective. She may be trying to fit in with the friends and important people that she knows. These are harsh words, but that is a fact. I look at things, from what I know from my peers who, like myself, who often pass througn places like Sheridan Square in New York City ( the Stonewall riots location), and I'm sure the attitude is very different if you are far away from places like this. I guess I take it for granted. I know a lot of people from rural places, and the social programming is very different. Such things as crossdressing, or even homosexualiy is very frightening. I would expect folks in your town to not know the difference. It just all comes down to programming.
Even if you and her went for counseling, she may not see the gain. Your CD'ing is too foreign a world for her to relate, and have friends in the community you live in.
Last edited by Holly; 09-21-2009 at 11:17 PM. Reason: Not necessary to quote entire OP.
PPG, You didn't ask for any advice so I will offer you none, other than to suggest that instead of hanging atound here, don't you think it would be more productive talking with your (still) wife?
Fulltime girl on the inside.
Lipstick=confidence
[SIZE=4]Holly[/SIZE]
I was married for 7 years also. And was depressed for a few years after our split. Needlessly, as it turns out!
I have since discovered that many NEW doors have opened for me. Simply because I'm single again!
One is; few limits on my CDing! That IS a good thing, rite?:brolleyes:
Remember what Monti Python said in, "The Life of Brian":
"Look on the brite side of life"!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I am sorry too, PPG. Things always look worst before the dawn.
Life, when you think everything is ok suddenly from nowhere you get torpedoed,i feel sorry for you and wish you well as i have a few issues arising in the coming year that will be very trying to say the least also.Originally Posted by pantypixguy
Well tomorrow would have been my 8th anniversary
I just talked to her and she said she's filing for divorce.. I'm so sad.. In a rural country town, there's no hope of finding someone to love someone like me..
I agree with Holly! Go talk to her... Setting around feeling sorry for your self is counter productive, imho... The way I see it you have two choices.. 1) Either try to save what you have which means making sacrifices and probably moderating your behavior or 2) accept it and start planning for what ever new future you want.. Good luck with what ever you choose to do..
I totally agree here. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Sometimes compromises have to be made, but they aren't anything you can't live with, but it sounds like you can't live without her. If that's how you feel about her, fight for her!!!
I haven't been much of a fan of marriage since my divorce, so I'm not going to be one to tell you to fight for her and try to win back her love. While important concessions on your part would be necessary, I think we all know that the desire to do what you do will always be there.... and then if you've stopped cold turkey you're going to be sad -- maybe sadder than you say you are today.
Maybe this wasn't meant to be, and you need to let things go. If she'll be happier with somebody who doesn't CD (at least she doesn't KNOW is a CD until she finds out otherwise later), then perhaps its best she finds that person. And think of the benefits for you. You get a place to yourself, closet and drawer space for both your male and female personas, and the ability to do whatever and whenever you please.
I think when we get married we vow to ourselves not to become part of that divorce statistic, but I think the whole game is overrated. You're an individual ... celebrate that and move on with your life.
Karen
Gee, I'm from a rural town...never say never! I live in the mountains about 8 miles from a town of 3500 people...very conservative. There are some people with open minds even in small communities!
Enacting life's lessons into positive change...
Well if she did the same google search as I did... Then I would suggest becoming more honest with yourself, and therefore her. And if you seek support here, honest with us too. No matter how many threads you read here - you'll discover that honesty is the best policy when dealing with wives / SO's.
xxoo
Jennifer
Can't add much to what has already been said, except that you need to decide your priorities. If having a wife is more important to you than having full freedom to do whatever you want, then you need to talk with her and make it clear you are willing to make adjustments to keep her happy. From what others have said I guess some folks prefer the freedom to the wife (I am reminded of the Simon and Garfunkel song "I Am A Rock"...) but you're the only one who can make that call.
And, as always, she probably needs a lot of reassurance that you're still the man she married - and all man, without any plans to change that.
Holly is bang on right.
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