Like many of you I was also nervous about shopping for clothing. I used to buy items around the hollidays and said it was a present for my wife. I also used the excuse of birthdays and other important events. Recently I started shopping without using any excuses and bought items with confidence. The SAs usually comment on how much they like the item I pick out and are very nice.
Jennifer Ann
I've read all these posts and even commented. I wasn't entirely convinced of the validity of some of the comments. However, I have been looking for a new dress for the past few days so I have been in and out of the same stores more than once, always in male attire.
Today I narrowed my choice down to one or two in a Jones New York store but size being what it can be I asked if the sale was final [it was on sale]. The clerk, a woman of my own age, said no and without a flicker of anything unusual, asked if I wanted to try it on before I decided.
She floored me, I said I would take my chances if I could bring it back and my faith in the comments here just went up incredibly.......
Personally at this stage I would've accepted the offer and tried it on. First of all,you'd know if it fit,and saved a trip back.Secondly,she probably would've told you if it looked ok or not,and helped you find something else if it didn't. Most importantly you would've begun to cultivate a relationship with a SA who will make your future shopping experiences VERY pleasant.Make sure when you go back you seek her out.You won't be sorry IMHO.
I have told sales people that it is for my self . Most of the time you just get the looks . Bras are my prob as i am a big man with a 48 inch chest so DDs
are the norm . Shoes are my problem hard to find a heal in 15 wide . But just love to dress .
I have told sales people that it is for my self . Most of the time you just get the looks . Bras are my prob as i am a big man with a 48 inch chest so DDs
are the norm . Shoes are my problem hard to find a heal in 12 wide . But just love to dress .
All of this is still so new to me...but I do have one story.
I went into my local "adult" shop looking for my first pair of shoes. I thought that maybe it wouldn't feel as strange since I was sure they'd handled these things with discretion many times before. I was just going to go in, pick out a pair I liked and ask for MY size. But when I got in and saw the young college guy behind the counter, I panicked. I eventually asked him for a pair of shoes in a size ten, but I pretended to confer with my girlfriend over the phone, asking her if I'd gotten the right size. I felt pretty awful after leaving...until I got home and tried them on for the first time. That definitely helped!
I was helping my wife find a special bra that she wanted. Yes, she knows I wear them and have more of them than her. She had stopped to look at robes. The sales people were ignoring me as I wondered around the different racks. So I walked over and asked the three of them (all seniors) if they had what I was looking for. Not a single one of them appeared shocked or cared who it was for. After a brief discussion (it was obvious that I new a lot about bras and the band size I requested was about the same as mine) one of the associates led me to a rack that had what I was looking for. She asked color and began showing me options. At that point my wife walked up. The associate looked confused for a moment until she realized it was for my wife and not for me.
Just go and relax the sales people really don't care. I've purchased women's clothing all over the world, in the US, in big cities, and in small towns. In only the rarest of cases have I had any sales person be surprised or care.
hey NVlady just wanted to say thanks for your advice in this thread on putting a birthday card into the basket, I went shopping today and put a card in my basket and went looking at new undergarments (something that makes me feel the most arkward in a shop.) but sure enough just having a card sitting in a basket to assist a "im looking for a present" story gave me so much confidence, to the point that after I got what I was after, I went looking at dvds :D THANK YOU SOOO MUCH
-Love the Playful Princess XOXO
[SIZE="4"]I am not nearly as timid as I used to be when buying clothes, lingerie and makeup. I just take my time to find what I want, and if it is a clothing or lingerie item, I calmly go to the appropriate male or unisex dressing room and check the fit, with an air of confidence. I have never even encountered so much as a strange look from a SA or customer, and only once did a rather talkative cashier comment on a purchase; she just gave me a knowing smile and asked me if I was sure that the pantyhose I was buying would fit. Faint heart never won fair wardrobe ! The only real concern I have when shopping is some difficulty in finding just the right size and style of panties and bras at these bargain dollar stores in my area....[/SIZE]
[SIZE="3"]Best Regards,
Michelle-Leigh
"We are now operating at a femininity level of 98% and rising...."[/SIZE]
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
In my experiences I would go get mens shirts and then go get some womens dresses and skirts; I would then head to the dressing room with the mens shirts out and cover the bottom with the clerk counter I would ask to go in and they would let me in. One clerk asked me if I would be long with the dress and if I needed help selecting new ones if these ones didn't fit. I politely told her no thank you and she left. My first time buying dresses though I did have a sales clerk approach me and ask if I needed help and immediately I told her they weren't for me and she said "Yeah Right". I work in retail people and really it makes no difference who is purchasing what items. The checker doesn't know you and really doesn't care where what you are buying goes. What you are doing is thinking of the SA as your best friend and they have known you since kindergarten. Oh no what will they say, what will they think? In matter of fact I think to myself "heh another crossdresser comming through my line. I hope they have fun with that new dress and heels they are buying or I wish I could dress with them". Who knows the SA may also be a Crossdresser as well. The point I am making is we all spend a little to much time worrying and not living. I recommend maybe reading this book "How to stop worrying and start living" done by Dale Carnegie; it really is an awesome book.
I would also suggest reading his other book "How to win friends and influence people" done by Dale Carnegie
just to put in my experience. I've bought lingerie for GF's since i was about 19. I always get the impression these days that the assistant assumes it's for someone else anyway so there's no reason to be nervous.
Plus the usual addition of "if she doesn't like it i can bring it back right?" usually is enough just to calm my own nerves more than anything.
I still don't have the courage to go in to a strictly women's store to browse/try things on, unless im with my gf. So i keep to large department stores and unisex stores if im alone.
Originally Posted by Stephenie S
And then Christmas time comes and they could care less.. they are busy, they are tired, and they have other things more important on their minds such as their boyfriends/husbands/girlfriends (whatever) and or they are tired from the night before (hung over) and can only count the minutes till their next cig break..
This is what I mean by "every guy can look like a girl from the right angles".. this is one of the first pictures of me dressed up.. very vague look.. almost fem...
I'm all for the direct approach. Pick out what you want and buy it. If the SA asks tell her thier for you. She'll get a kick out of it and you will be more relaxed, now that it's done.
Great post babe.
Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years.
My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty
I'm Always Rainbow Proud
I wear bifocals; can see only poorly without them. I have heretofore put up with the crummy look I have when dressed but have to wear my regular glasses. I wanted something better.
Recently, in drab I walked into the optical dept. of a major retailer, new prescription in hand, and was promptly greeted by a young SA. She was a bit shy and obviously quite new on the job, but most eager to help. She helped me select a no-nonsense male style frame like I needed for the office & shop, and duly wrote up the order.
At that point I said she was only half done. Telling her "I also do drag" I said I wanted the same prescription done in a classy feminine frame. Obviously this sort of thing was completely new to the young lady; she was totally flummoxed by my request. She tried to convince herself "this is for your wife, isn't it?", or to come up with some other circumstance she could believe. I have to suspect I am the first crossdresser she has ever encountered, at least face to face on a one-to-one basis.
When my SA got past that initial shock, to her credit she was again most helpful in selecting frames I think will really help my appearance. I pick them up this weekend.
Although my SA surely had a new experience, I did as well. I willingly admit that bras, skirts or dresses I buy are for me, but only if directly asked. This marks the first time I have ever clearly stated up front that I'm buying any feminine item for myself.
Daisy
If I can think of something to say that gets me off the hook, I'll do it but I still have a hard time avoiding visibly shaking as I hand over the cash. I still don't know what Im afraid of after several uneventful efforts.
Most recently, I had to exchange one school girl costume for another with a male cashier and then he needed some contact info to complete the transaction even though I paid cash. Somehow I kept my cool. When I grabbed the original one that didn't fit at all, I merely asked if they had an exchange policy and got what I wanted, "if it doesn't fit her, you can exchange it by the 17th."
That took me back to my 2nd shoe purchase when I got, "at least I know they're not for you" and "I hope she enjoys them." I know some people around here prefer honesty but I went to the brink of madness before I made my first purchase earlier this year. Right now, I'd prefer the sales clerks think whatever they and I are both comfortable with. My fictional girlfreind has my exact shoe and dress size!
For years I hoped I was just a CDer but now I realize I am transgender and that's alright.
The day I overcame my nervousness happened several years ago when I went into a shoe store and saw, clearly posted between the men's section and the women's section, a size-conversoin chart!
Nicole- I ordered a pair of size 12 pimps at payless for halloween yesterday, as soo as I emintioned halloween it seemed to break the tension
Honesty is the best policy, it seems to clear the air when you fess up, very few SA's get upset and if they do moveon
First, I'm cheep. It is hard for me to justify buying something I wont wear normally. So, I have never got up my nerve to buy something nice. I go into thrift stores, and I am aware of everyone in the store, but I believe that they for the most part are unaware of me. I have a hard time, I go in a lot and don't even look. Why am I such a wimp?
I have gotten better through the years. I will now go into the dressing rom at the salvation army to try on the clothes before i buy. It sure has saved me some money and the heartache of coming home with a cool outfit and it wont fit.
Yes, I have done that many times... although when it's busy it can be almost as bad.. especially if something isn't scanning right and you get a line forming behind you and the monitor person gets involved.
Mostly though I just take whatever I have up to the register/counter whatever and when they ask "did you find everything you need/ were looking for?" I just say "yep, thanks!"... and when the gift receipt question comes up I just say "no thanks" since when I really am buying for my wife I don't get a gift receipt... so it's more natural.
I haven't encountered anyone asking if the items are for me... not sure how I'll handle that one, but everyone's stories here certainly give me confidence that I'll be just fine!
VS Fan
Once at Target I picked out a linen skirt set and took it into the men's dressing room as I was in drab except for my 3in heeled loafers. Tried on the clothes and went into the hallway to see how the outfit looked in the 3way mirror, then proceeded to the entrance of the dressing rooms and asked a woman waiting for a room what she thought of the outfit. She looked at me up and down, thought for about 30 seconds and " Not bad, not bad at all " made my day.
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