I want to tell you how very sorry I am. I think going for a fresh start in a place that would be more supportive sounds like a good idea at this time.
You didn't say if your "3rd party" was male or female, if your wife was jealous, if she viewed that as a betrayal, if the two of you had previously had an agreement NOT to be alone with others, so it's hard to ascertain exactly what went wrong in your situation.
I can't help but feel if I were a CDer, before selecting a special someone to spend my life with, there's a lot of things I'd have to look for in a person...are they open to new ideas? Are they a strong person, able to stand against the tide in situations? Do they have a very strong sense of commitment and the marital vows? How do they handle situations? Are they judgmental? Do they have the ability to change?
There was a time in my past when, I shudder to think, I was conservative, opposed to change, intolerant, and closed-minded...I didn't see it that way at the time, I just thought myself a "Christian". Over the years, funny enough, as I began to think outside the box, I began a quest for a deeper search...to know GOD, not just participate in "religion" or be under the teachings of an organization...I began to think for myself, I learned, studied, experienced, and in the process...grew...and changed...tremendously. I no longer think like I used to. I welcome the experience to expand my mind a little, new experiences, new people, new ideas, changes...it all helps me to become more well rounded, to learn and grow. I don't worry so much what others think...I know what exists between me and God and that's what matters. In this process, I have come to view everything differently.
When I met my SO and learned about CDing, it was a shock at first as I'd never thought about it one way or another, had never been acquainted with CDers, didn't know anything about it...but I quickly set out to learn, I came on line here and read and read, I asked questions, and most of all, I kept myself open to learn and embrace. I am totally comfortable with the idea and it really didn't take that long. I realize everyone's processing is different and for some it might be quick and some it might be slow...for some it might be all the way, for some it might be very limited. But I tell you this, I care more about the person than the way they dress or their gender. I love Jim and I cannot imagine ever turning my back on him because KatelynMae exists...when you love a person, do you not love ALL of them? If not, I pose this to you, do you not just love the IDEA of love, and not the person at all?!
If you are not already with a person, consider these thoughts carefully before making your selection. What is this person's history? Do they have the ability to think outside the box? Do they have the ability to really love and take their commitments seriously? Are they too wrapped up in society's dictates and what others think? Observe...obsserve...observe. Tread carefully.
EveMarie, I am very sorry you are going through this experience, it hurts like hell, I know it does, I've had my heartbreaks and share of hurts, but yes, you ARE resilient and you WILL persevere, and maybe, just maybe, this will turn out to be a GOOD thing eventually, maybe you will someday find a special person who will be right for you...one can always hope.
