That's kinda the point I was getting at in my long winded babble.. There's lots to be said for a caring, loving relationship, regardless of gender or gender expression. Then, I might say, you have levels of kink associated with a relationship or partnership.. then you start talking about BDSM and roleplaying, for example. Treating a person as a whole person in a 'vanilla' relationship doesn't generally involve dominating them into being a particular way. You live, you love, you balance your life and you are happy together.Originally Posted by kellycan27
OOPS! I missed the part about wearing the maids outfit....NO. In fact, just that one sentence makes the whole scenario actually seem kind of creepy. I guess my initial thoughts of "tradtional" were more along the lines a regular type family, mom,dad,kids with the wife doing the cooking, cleaning and caring for the children, but only on an equal and loving basis. As I mentioned in another thread, I wouldn't have a problem with him being in charge until.... it's time to not let him be in charge. About the first time he came home and demanded his dinner,or tried and tell me that I can't do this or I can't do that..... he'd see June Cleaver morph into the incredible Hulk so fast that it would make his head spin. I can be quite feminine and even submissive, just don't piss me off.......You wouldn't like me when I am pissed off!
If you want to be able to have a certain expectation of control in a relationship, then you need to be very, very clear from the start that there are some /very specific rules/ about the way you want a relation to occur, and deviance from those aforementioned rules is punishable by [x]. Regardless of exactly how you want to word it, or level it all out, it could easily be analyzed as a more dominative and submissive relationship - which is FINE, of course - I've actually many, many friends involved in the BDSM community. However, they live by those rules very explicitly - and both the top and the bottom agree to those rules in advance. If what Seanmuscle is specifically asking for in a relation is more of a controlling perspective, then he needs to clarify that up-front.
Seeing this response from you, I just feel like my above comment to Kelly is appropriate here. Based on many of the statements you've made in this thread, it seems like you not only want to date a CD/TG/TS, but want to have some level of ultimate control over the situation. Certainly, there is nothing wrong with that - the saying is 'your kink is not my kink' might apply here. Just be clear to whomever you'd like to date that your requirements are what they are, to be fair to both of you.
I just want to clarify when you say 'Crossdresser', again, do you mean someone who is 'out', publicly, as a crossdresser or trans? If you're dating someone within the confines of their closet (not being rude of course, but I hope you all understand) then while looks are what they are at home, going out may be an entirely different kettle of fish, if there is even a wantingness to 'go out'. I think clarity is key here.
There is, as has been said and known, much social stigma towards transfolk / CDers, so much so that, if you were to go out publicly on a date that someone might make a point of outing your date. What then? would you stand beside your woman, and protect her? Heaven only knows that, were I to date a man, I would require him to be of strong enough character to stand beside me in public. He likely WILL be called GAY and so many other hatefully rude things, but so what? That is something to certainly have very clear between you and your chosen date.
