Quote Originally Posted by ikatrina View Post
Now for the confusion/conflict part. I'm a big girl. 5'14" and ~200lbs.....mostly muscle. Over the past year or so I've been purposefully losing muscle mass, slimming down, growing my hair out, growing my finger nails, grooming my brows, voice training, all to be more feminine. Thoughts (bordering on obsession) are constantly going through my head whether transition (or partial transition) could be successful. Can I be a happy woman over 6ft tall? How would HRT impact my skin, hair, body (obviously not height)? Are my hands and feet reasonably sized ? Could I look pretty with some FFS procedures? I've even been scouring the internet for information on taller transsexuals (haven't found many) that have successfully transitioned. I've already convinced myself that if I was under 5'10 and 150lbs I would be well on my way to being a woman.
Let me point you to this post by Stephenie S, where she says:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...8&postcount=10

Quote Originally Posted by Stephenie S View Post
Dear Doc (and all you others),

The FACT is that women come in ALL shapes and sizes, just like men. There are fat women, thin women, beautiful women, ugly women, handsome women, plain women, short women, tall women, women with broad shoulders, women with little boobs, women with narrow hips and no butt, and women with big hands and feet.

The desire to be, or look like, a pubecent teenage girl is impossible to attain for a middle aged man. But that doesn't mean you can't present to the world as a woman. It just means you can't look like a teenage girl no matter what you do or wish. It just ain't gonna happen. You are going to look like a tall women with broad shoulders, no hips and butt, no waist, and big hands and feet.

So suck it up. Get used to it. Live with it. Of course it would be wonderful to be thin, short, cute, and buxom. But 99% of the natal women out there would love to look this way too. In reality most people are not perfect, not men, and not women. We all have to work with what we got. You can spend your life wishing and wanting, or you can live your life the best you can with what God gave you. The choice is up to you.
I think what she wrote can apply to your situation as well.


....then I think....who am I kidding? Why bother having long hair, nails and losing my muscular physique....I would never be successful,
Are you sure about that?

Why sacrifice the male side for a female side that can never be realized?
Are you 100% sure that it can never be realized?

Is it worth being a skinny weak man just to fit into a smaller sized dress as a woman?
Yes, I think it is. Frankly, I wish I was my scrawny 125 pound late teenage/early 20's self. If I could go back in time, I'd tell myself. "Self! Get on anti-androgens now! Don't let testosterone work on you any longer." But I have to deal with the reality of it. I may be 5' 5.5" tall, but I weigh 180 lbs. Doesn't mean I can't try to learn the ins and outs of fashion and makeup to make the best of it.

Having less muscle won't make you "weak" just less strong.

Am I alone? Do others fight with these conflicts?
No, you're not alone and others have and are dealing with the same thoughts and feelings.

Veronica Rogers