You do everything like a girl!

[Karren H]

Ä tried to discuss the subject tonight and she doesn't want to talk about it at all...

I feel for you Karen. I really do. And I will stifle the "guy" thing and not voice my opinion for "fixing" it and just be a sister and listen. If you run out of gas in Phoenix - look me up. I have an extra basket you can hold.

Thanks... I can feel the moisture leaving my skin as I think about Az! Lol.

Just don't play like a girl! Your fights sound like my old fights with the wife, off driving for a few hours, calm down & everything's cool NOT

Even the girls on my team don't play like girls! I haven't driven off in decades... I did get 2 hours of good exersize walking the parking lots of a local strip mall...

Karren,

Do you conciously NOT do things like a girl when you are at work or on the rink? I find when my guard is down and i am comfortable with my surroundings... i do things more like a girl [ naturally]. As soon as the guys show up... i feel the need to puff up and over compensate...to be the man.

I don't try to act one way or the other... When in drab or enfemme.. It all feels the same to me..

[SuzanneBender]

Karren if there is anyone on this site that acts like themself it is you and we love you for it.

If you are going to drive point your car west. You would be more than welcome in Kansas. We will find you a pink Chiefs Jersey

[Genifer Teal]

'Till you run out of gas? You even drive like a girl. lol Just kidding. Anyone can (and does) run out of gas once in a while.

Gen

[msniki48]

I don't try to act one way or the other... When in drab or enfemme.. It all feels the same to me..

Karren

As you say, you act the same in both situations...

Either your wife was over reacting to your holding the basket...because SHE knows you crossdress....and thought others might pick up..[they probably didn;t]

or, I am surprised that the guys at work, don't make comments every once in a while about your less then macho movements.

I have been with my family laughing and giggleing, and all of a sudden my mom will go...STOP THAT, you're acting like a girl. [because she knows and doesn't want others to know because She will be embarrassed. [she is 80 and is in denial]

i'm just wondering

Being gender blessed [ the best of both genders] isn't about just wearing the clothes. Being Transgendered isn't about just getting dressed for a sexual fantasy, and then taking off the clothes. if this is you, you may want to take the next step and ask a therapist... i know i did. When Patti , my 1st wife [ she has passed] realized it wasn't a joke or fetish, there was a total different attitude.


hugs, I wish you well

msniki48

[Laura Evans]

Sorry to hear about your troubles, Karen, I feel for you. If you ever decide to come to AZ (with your moisterizer) Stephanie and I will show you around and we can all carry our handbags however we want. Take care girl.

[Persephone]

Sorry to hear that you're going through a rough spot, Karren.

My typically understanding spouse has also lately developed this "you've already crossed over, the guy is dead" thingy and it seems to be simmering somewhere underneath. And sometimes it seems that the more "guy" I try to be, the more firmly she latches on to her notion.

Will keep sending good thoughts your way.

I haven't driven off in decades... I did get 2 hours of good exersize walking the parking lots of a local strip mall...

You know that driving off is a totally guy thing, right?

[Karren H]

Karren

As you say, you act the same in both situations...
.......

or, I am surprised that the guys at work, don't make comments every once in a while about your less then macho movements.


msniki48

Ohhh I get it at work.... "Your such a girl". Or even having friend point me to the womens dressing room when on a mine visit". "there's you change room". Might have something to do with all the pink accessories in my office?

You know that driving off is a totally guy thing, right?

But I was twirling my hair as I drove away... Does that count?

[suchacutie]

I doubt any magic wand will solve this, and ALL of us are so with you on this since it is sooooo close to home! Since my wife and I found Tina together I'm on the other side of this coin. We were able to set the ground rules together and one of them was "she wanted her man when she wanted him".

I hear a lot of that from your wife in what you've said and I can't help but having the thought of retro-CDing! For those of us who never realized we had a feminine side and never had any overt feminine characteristics, consider how much time and effort we all put in to understanding how to be feminine when in drag. We study the walk, we study how to stand, how to sit, how to hold a purse, how to talk, how to deal with heels, how to do makeup and on and on and on.

Ok...you know how to do both very well from what I can tell. Is it maybe that your bride wants the "man" she thinks she married? Is that the crux of the issue? At least in public? Ah...yes...in public. So, if we can all learn how to be feminine when we want to, what if you are, in public, with your wife, masculine when she needs you? It might not take much and might make a massive difference to the point where she sees you trying for her and is then willing to talk about the rest. This might be the "meeting me half way" issue that you are just supposed to understand! Heck, maybe that's the issue too...you are so feminine, why don't you understand what you don't understand??? (I've always loved that bit of circular illogic!).

So, bottom line, play the man game in public with her...you might actually find it an interesting challenge and she might just appreciate your consideration!

no matter what, may the best be yours always.

tina

[marcia pisch]

I tend to think that a confrontation might not be all that bad. I mean you can finally have your wife tell you how she really feels, and then you can choose what is best for you. May be she just needs to now how much you love her again. Or maybe, heaven forbid, you need to choose what makes you happy in you life. I wish you the best. I think I am going to have to make that choice soon, I hope not.

[Karren H]

I tend to think that a confrontation might not be all that bad. I mean you can finally have your wife tell you how she really feels, and then you can choose what is best for you. May be she just needs to now how much you love her again. Or maybe, heaven forbid, you need to choose what makes you happy in you life. I wish you the best. I think I am going to have to make that choice soon, I hope not.

I'll introduce you to my wife.... and you can confront her!!

[Bootsiegalore]

My wife just came in and told me we are going for manicures and pedicures tomorrow! Can you beleive that..... She is going to have to d r a g me out of the house for that one! NOT!

T

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

What a nice compliment. I wish my wife would say that to me. I am not very limber and can not sit like a girl, oh how I wish I could. I dress like a girl most of the time at home and she is sometimes upset about that. Most of the time though it is OK and sometimes she even ask's if sandra wants to get all fixed up and go out, those are the best of times

[Roxi Loh]

I dont have any great insight here except to say that we are all behind you. My wife and I after ignoring the 800 pound gorilla in the room or the crazy aunt in the attic...whatever (for many years) did a kind of girls night at home where she painted my toe nails and stuff and I got dressed as Roxanne. We played cards and talked and it was nice. The point is it was a result of talking about it and it was a bit of a game changer for me. I don't know if it is an option for you but talking isnt always bad. I wish you the best. Thanks for sharing with us.
Roxanne

[AKASadieGG]

Geez, I think if you look at how many hits this thread has gotten, you'll know how many people are rooting for you. From a gg point, please open up to your wife, she loves you and just wants to be reasurred that you love her too. Take some time for her and let her know how special she is to you. I know this is not an easy thing to do after you have been together for as many years as you have been,( my hubby and I have known each other for 37 years) but just the smallest of reassurance that I am the most important person in his life means eveything to me. Guide her here if that's possible in the future, we gg's are here for her. I wish nothing but the best for you and your wife.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Communication, communication, communication! Direct communication! No beating around the bush, no ignoring the issues. Communication on both sides! Basically you need to put on your "big girl panties" and start honestly and directly talking about "It"
Covering one's head in the sand, or yourself doing what you want away and separate from her isn't cutting it.

Veronica Rogers

[Jess]

You don't look anywhere near old enough to have been married, or even known your wife, for 30 years!

[Christie ann]

Karren,

It appears that our experiences are nearly identical. I too am quite constrained by what is acceptable in her eyes

BTW, my response to her comment about "it being too girly" was that was the intention. Not the best come back I could have used.

Good luck and let us know how it goes. You can always drive west and we can prospect the hills together. Forget the coal and water, we will look for gold!

[Madilyn A.]

We all support you Karren with the "compliment" paid you by your wife. I love it when my wife makes any reference to my fem side. Recently, she asked why I seemed to be more interested in dressing up. Although, her intuition regarding my desire to wear her clothes was answered on our honeymoon and reinforced over our 30 years of marriage, she still wanted to know why I wished to be girly as often and intensely as I do. I wrote her a 4 page letter, restating some of what she had already known and also quite a bit more about my early years from about 3yrs thru high school. As a result she now knows I am not doing this to get my kicks, but really this is who I am. I believe she now understands her husband is mentally and psychologically much more woman than man and seems to better accept my girliness. Hoe this helps...........Hugs ....Madilyn

[carolinoakland]

What ever the reason, somethings up. And that's the tact to take. "Honey, you've been worring me with how often your emotions get the better of you, can we talk about it?" I'm crossing everything that WILL cross and wishing for the best. Carol