Well hello there, I is back.
What happened? Well on Tuesday evening I became really ill so I went to the emergency out of hours doctor and he told me to go to my GP the next morning and ask to get an urgent referral over to the gyno. So I did that but my GP seemed to be acting like a proper d*ckhead and so I started screaming and cry at him…apparently I “wasn’t in a lot of pain” because I wasn’t showing the “usual” signs of pain…[high pain tolerance and the physical inability to show pain because I have had that drilled into me by my dad cause showing that is showing weakness]. So I showed the doctor pain and he said I was to go to A&E.
I went to the hospital and they were going to ignore me but I was crying at them too that I was gonna top myself cause I can’t cope with it anymore. I was being sick, had a fever, was in a lot of agony and was shaking violently with pain. They decided to take me in.
They did a ultrasound scan the next morning, put me on two different strong painkillers and arranged for a CT scan. They gave me two different anti-sickness tablets which I took allergic reactions to lol and my skin blew up and a rash appeared…they ha to avoid all NSAID medications cause I’m allergic to them too, so ibuprofen] anti-inflammatory pills were out of the question…damn!
The doctor came to see me last night, she told me that it’s “psychological” << WTF. I flipped out. I’m sick of them telling me I’m imagining things, she stopped me…and told me that it’s not me imagining it, it’s my mind so stressed out and my body knowing that that thing down there isn’t meant to be there that it’s causing physical harm to it. [???] apparently my mind and body are rejecting it. So they are going along with the original plan of working up to the hysto in a few weeks but for now I have been given a 2 week course of medication that will relax me [sedatives for internal organs] and will review it in 2 weeks to come up with a longer course of medication until surgery.
Basically, my “dysphoria” is so bad that it’s convinced my mind to have my body reject the organs. I’ve never heard of this happening but what my body is doing is sending tremors through my entire abdomen causing pain. My ovaries were developing cysts too because of this [but the last one burst a few weeks ago]…this is so strange!
If anyone has ever heard of this happening, please let me know cause I haven’t…but what the doctor told me is that surgery needs to happen soon cause I’m driving myself crazy. Lol. I knew that?
Just need to wait and see what happens. Well after that speech last night I discharged myself, I can’t be arsed being told it’s psychological. If it wasn’t as bad as they are making out they wouldn’t have kept me in for 4 days and possibly longer if I hadn’t walked out. I took the drugs, I’ve to go back in today and get more and I’ll enjoy my OWN bed seeing how this is all MY fault.
If anyone has heard of what I have just described, please PM me. I’m interested to know what the hell is going on inside my head.
Thanks for the support everyone it’s been keeping me going, thanks to Felix for being so supportive and making me feel better every time I wake up to a nice text message. I’ve felt so alone lately it was really nice to see this amount of support =]
