Communication.

[brylram]

Interesting... one thing I HAVEN'T had come back was OCD type stuff, and I'd pretty much forgotten about that. I used to memorize which flights of stairs had odd numbers of steps and which had even so I could be sure to end on my right foot, and would shift feet if I made the wrong guess with new stairs. I had to do things in even numbers whenever possible, and tried to eat things in 4, or groups of 4 (each half of a sandwich would take 4 bites of crust and 4 bites of the rest to finish). I wouldn't step on the lines of tile floors, but I don't remember about any other lines or cracks being a problem.

Maybe there's other stuff I don't remember, but I'm glad to not have any of that stuff back, life is so much simpler without it.

Also, I REFUSED to wear anything with a tag I could feel, lol... and if there was the slightest bunching of a sock, or a seam was bugging me, or all sorts of stuff like that then I would be really upset. Now I don't mind any of those things.

Christina Marie: Nope, don't worry... I put this thread in a public section because I wanted everyone to be able to read/contribute. I'm glad I did now too because it seems to be somewhat helpful.

[DanielMacBride]

Interesting... one thing I HAVEN'T had come back was OCD type stuff, and I'd pretty much forgotten about that. I used to memorize which flights of stairs had odd numbers of steps and which had even so I could be sure to end on my right foot, and would shift feet if I made the wrong guess with new stairs. I had to do things in even numbers whenever possible, and tried to eat things in 4, or groups of 4 (each half of a sandwich would take 4 bites of crust and 4 bites of the rest to finish). I wouldn't step on the lines of tile floors, but I don't remember about any other lines or cracks being a problem.

I always have to end on the left foot with mine And I know the eating thing - I have to chew the same number of times on each side (and of course it has to be an even number of times). I have a ton of little "things" like that which have to be done in even numbers - I suspect it's something to do with maintaining "balance" as an aspect of control, if that makes any sense. I had a therapist ask me once, what would happen if you didn't do everything in even numbers and equally and all that? And I said, I don't know, but it would NOT be good, chaos would reign! LOL. I am all about symmetry for some reason

Maybe there's other stuff I don't remember, but I'm glad to not have any of that stuff back, life is so much simpler without it.

I don't know what it's like to NOT do those things - I have literally done them for as long as I can remember I remember even as a little kid (about 2-3 years old) being fascinated by my grandmother's Ukrainian matryoshka dolls - because I could take them apart and line up the pieces in order of size and whether they were top or bottom halves, and then I could stack them all back together neatly in order - and I would do this for HOURS at a time. The footpath things started literally as soon as I could walk, and I know that I have had what my parents called a "fascination with arranging things" since I was about 2 years old as well. Doesn't really say much for the environment I grew up in that those behaviours were evident from such a young age, does it? I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that I have done those things since I was very small, or the fact that my parents KNEW I was doing it and never thought to actually ask WHY or seek any sort of diagnosis or medical opinion on it because it is NOT the behaviour of a normal child (says a lot about my "parents", too, doesn't it, that they preferred to sit back and watch me be socially awkward and have these OCD behaviours and pass it off as me being "quirky", and ignore the complete isolation it caused in favour of pretending that they were perfect? Yeah, bitter, much?)

Unfortunately being on T hasn't made any difference to the OCD stuff - I kinda wish it had, because it does interfere with my functionality. It sucks not being able to take psych meds, too, because that would probably make at least some sort of difference and make it easier NOT to do those things.

Also, I REFUSED to wear anything with a tag I could feel, lol... and if there was the slightest bunching of a sock, or a seam was bugging me, or all sorts of stuff like that then I would be really upset. Now I don't mind any of those things.

Yeah, I have a *thing* about tags I can feel, bunched socks, or irritating seams, too. Probably why my standard clothing "uniform" consists of soft t-shirts, baggy shorts or well-worn jeans, and why I like to go barefoot most of the time (I hate hate HATE confining my feet in shoes with a passion, because I have broad feet and most shoes don't fit right and it's damned uncomfortable - I also prefer to be able to feel the ground beneath my feet so I know what I'm walking on). I can't stand tight socks for the same reason - the only time I will put anything on my feet is if I have to go somewhere that requires shoes (like a club, or maybe an important appointment/meeting or something) - the rest of the time, I am constantly barefoot except for in the middle of summer when it's so hot that the asphalt melts on the road (so if I didn't wear shoes, I would burn my feet) and in winter at home if it's really cold I will wear socks around the house (but they are always my own handknit socks that actually FIT my feet comfortably) or my Doc Marten boots if I have to go out somewhere and it's wet. But if it's not raining out, I will go barefoot (and even if it is raining, I have been known to walk to the local supermarket barefoot because I can't be bothered fussing with shoes).

I'm glad you posted this thread too, it kinda helps me to know that I'm not the only person who has the communication issues and OCD type stuff happening. So yeah, thanks for helping me to not feel so alone

[halfman_halfamazing]

i have asperger's and no friends.
so unless youre lonely and have tried to smash a glass goblet on youre sister, bite, spit, kick, punch, flail, punched windows, constantly run away ect.. ect.... you don't have it.

but you remind me of me with the reading.
i was a good reader just a bad writer.. like bad.
at my school you had to pass the pow. proficiency of writing exam or you couldnt graduate. i think i passed the 2nd to last one my senior year..
i usually liked more manly books.
the girl ones kinda bored me.

[DanielMacBride]

i have asperger's and no friends.
so unless youre lonely and have tried to smash a glass goblet on youre sister, bite, spit, kick, punch, flail, punched windows, constantly run away ect.. ect.... you don't have it.

Not necessarily true - to an extent it's a matter of degree, and the therapists vary in their opinions on that as to whether I have Aspergers or a mild version thereof, because of my age and the fact that I have (as brylram mentioned) LEARNED social cues that helps me to appear more normal.

However...

Lonely - check

Tried to smash a glass goblet on a sibling - does chasing him around the house with a table lamp count?

Bite - only did this once because I got the s**t belted out of me for it

Spit - see above

Kick - see "Bite"

Punch - regularly, but used to get the s**t belted out of me every time

Flail - check

Punched windows - no, but I *did* put a hole in a wall with a baseball bat, and then got the living s**t belted out of me for that, too (my son is the window breaker, his record is 14 windows in 8 weeks)

Constantly run away - check, I ran away no less than 16 times in one year when I was 12, and did it multiple times after that till I was 16 and finally managed to get out for good.

Add to that the fact that most people with Aspergers particularly, tend to learn to "mask" it as they get older (and I'm almost 40 so I have had a lot of practice at pretending to be like everyone else), and yeah, you can see why the therapists etc are not keen to attempt to diagnose me at this point, but all agree that they think I am Aspie.

[metalguy639]

Interesting reading...

I've always had trouble getting along with people in general when I was a child and even still today I have problems or issues. I'm also diagnosed as a Manic Depressive/Schizophrenic as well as a few other things, depression, paranoia, OCD, Post Traumatic Stress...you name it. Most of the time I'd prefer the company of my kitties than a human. LOL.

As a child I was awkward, strange, weird, not-normal and pretty much never had any friends until I hit about the 8th grade. Up until then I did not have a single friend or someone I could consider an actual friend because kids were severely cruel to me. It did not help that my father was extremely abusive. I grew up much differently than probably alot of people here. My parents I think probably realized that I was not female whether they knew they realized it or not when I was really young and they really treated me as male in alot of ways. I was essentially raised like a boy. This is one reason why I do not always relate to threads/posts on here and if I don't rather than say something that may hurt the other person I'll usually just read and not post. I don't want to discourage anyone so sometimes I'll keep quiet.

As a child I dressed like a boy, I was allowed to dress how I wanted and felt. With the exception of wearing boys underwear, I got my ass kicked for that one. I was allowed to act like a boy except I could not go out without my shirt on. I hated that especially growing up in the hot, humid south. I wore boys shoes and clothes because actually girls clothes would wear out too quickly. My mom bought boys stuff because I would not put holes in it before it got to the first wash cycle. Of course back then no one really came out as transgendered and there was not much information or support for it even with doctors. If my parents had realized that I was transgendered and it had been closer to how it is today then they might of allowed me to choose. I told my mom many times that I was a boy.

As a result of all this my communication skills are pretty lacking in alot of ways I'm sure. I can't tell how many times I've said something and then the next thing I knew all hell broke loose and every freaking one is freaking out. I'm thinking to myself...What?! All I said was_____________! This kept me from having friends as a kid I'm sure. I cannot help but wonder if being transgendered had not been so severely frowned upon when I was a kid if I had come out if thing could have been different for me. If I had actually been seen as a boy instead of a girl trying to act like a boy maybe things would of been different. Everyone saw me as someone who was trying to be a boy. This was quite frustrating for me and very upsetting.

I was always pretty violent as well but I do not have Asperger's Syndrome. Good thing I guess I had enough problems and did not need an extra one lol. I played sports actually played soccer for about 24 years even played Semi-Pro soccer as well until my knee got blown out. I'm a musician so I play several instruments and I did like to read as well, mostly horror & Sci-Fi stuff. Team sports I guess helped me cope with the anger & with other people somewhat although quite a bit of the time I did not cope well at all, I would beam them upside the head with the ball or do other things. I was a goalkeeper so I could get away with stuff others could not lol.

But overall growing up was a very lonely, upsetting time that I'm glad I do not have to repeat it ever again.