When you told a friend, did they tell others?

[kasha]

I've only told a few friends . . . . one outed me to someone else. Trouble was I wasn't sure about sharing with her, but I felt I owed it to her since she had confided in me. My important lesson . . . I don't owe outing myself to anyone. I should share it with only those I trust.

The thing of it is, the whole world could know about me. But it's nice to know I have good people in my life willing to keep my confidence and have my back.

[Bailey_in_Mansfield]

I told one friend. He outed me when we got into an argument later to his whole workplace. Out of his whole workplace, one person believed him. He had too little credibility so the others thought he was just being a jerk, LOL.

[sherri52]

Of those I've told, it has stayed in that circle. There are a few that have found out by going into my closet or my leaving the computer on and having this site up. They have told others but the others just seemed to drop it. It never seemed to make it's way back to me.

[ReneeCD]

I had a breakup of an intense relationship that had gone on for four years back at the end of September. It put me into a tailspin and depression that lasted until January. She's already engaged to be married in June to another guy. She's his problem now...

But back in May, we had broken up for six weeks. The first week in June, she called me crying and wanted to get back together again. This had been a repeating pattern with her--she would initiate the breakup, then call me wanting to get back together. I was very hesitant to do it, but I missed her, and finally relented. A day later, she comes to me and says, "You may want to break up with me when I tell you what I did." She had told a friend of hers (a REALLY conservative one) about my crossdressing in such a way as to elicit pity for herself. Of course, the friend immediately sympathized with her, and told her she had done the right thing breaking up with me. I told her that it wasn't THAT she had told her friend, but HOW and WHY she had done it. I told her that I hoped that, the next time she saw her friend, she would tell her the reasons why she had outted me. She did, or so she said.

The thing that bothered me the most about this was that, most of the time, she enjoyed my CDing as much as I did. Some of her comments: "You tend to dress conservatively. Don't you have anything ****tier?". And: "Do you have a blonde wig you can wear when we have sex?". And: "Does it bother you if I fanticize that you're a women when you're performing oral on me?". And: "I think I have lesbian tendencies".

I guess I'm lucky to be rid of her, although it didn't seem like it for a long time. Just be very careful to whom and what you tell. This was all to be in confidence--"pillow talk". Obviously not to her..

Renee

[Sammy777]

OK, to quote Benjamin Franklin, "Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead".

Exactly! You beat me to it.

Once you tell someone else, it's no longer a secret.
That's just a FACT. Others will do the same thing you did.

I have told 2 close friends and both of them told others.
When I told my wife, she immediately told her best friend and parents.

Now I realize that when you tell someone,
the information is a big shock and will probably lead to them telling confidants.

ALL Well said................

Face it! It doesn't matter who you tell or why, be it:
Your mother or father
Your wife or SO
Your brother or sister
Your best friend for a year or a life time.

If you believe for ONE second that they are NOT going to tell anyone then I have a bridge and some lovely property in Florida to sell you.

Mind you I'm happy to be out, and well it is sort of an unavoidable thing when your a TS.

This may skew the totals, but part of telling [most of the] people was that I told them they can "share" but not to the world, and be sure to keep me in the loop of who knows.

But anyway, to date I have told IDK 10 Family and Friends.
Doesn't sound like a lot right? ........

Well I far as I can tell, at least an additional 35-40 people now know, maybe more.

BUT trust me!!, even IF I gave the "gag order" on the info, the number that know would still have doubled, no problem.

[sometimes_miss]

I can count the number of people I've told on one hand. Of those, only my mother and sister know each other. I have no contact with my ex-wife or anyone who knows her, so I don't know if she ever told anyone about me other than her friend she hung out with while the divorce was going through. The other two were gay women from work who, I hope, understand the desire for discretion. So far, I don't think anyone else knows. Well, maybe other than one gogo dancer who oddly seemed to be able to know what I was thinking numerous times, for which there was no explanation, but I never allowed myself to let her know her question about whether I ever wanted to wear a dress was on target. One blackmail episode in my life was enough.

[lacie]

I told my best friend just last year. We have been friends since high school. I trust him completly and know he would not tell a soul without my permission. He was very accepting and supportive. I could of told him along time ago but I guess I justed needed to grow and gain my own self acceptance.

[Solarhawk]

This may skew the totals, but part of telling [most of the] people was that I told them they can "share" but not to the world, and be sure to keep me in the loop of who knows.

That's a really good idea, I like it! I've told most of my circle of friends (all but two and one of their girlfriends, though she would be totally cool with it). I know I got outed by a couple of my friends to others in the circle before I could tell them, which is disappointing, since they don't exactly describe things the same as we would. Regardless, everyone is pretty cool with it (for the most part), and as far as them outing me to the rest of the world, I don't really care, as long as it doesn't negatively impact my ability to do life events (getting/holding a job, buying a house, etc)... and none of them have any contact with my family, who I want to tell on my own terms, when it's not a time of family turmoil already.

Just my

Jesse

[Kaitlyn Michele]

This is just so true as to never need repeating.

Once you tell someone else, it's no longer a secret. That's just a FACT. Others will do the same thing you did.

"Don't tell anyone, but John is a crossdresser."

Once you tell, it's out. Never mind who you tell. Never mind how much you bind them to secrecy. Never mind how close a friend it is. If you want to keep a secret, you have to KEEP a secret.

So, to answer your question, OF COURSE they told someone else. (DUH!)

The correct question is how many people do you think they told?

[Karen564]

The correct question is how many people do you think they told?

[SIZE=2]Yup, [/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]And just watch how distorted the story gets as it's passed down from person to person..[/SIZE]

[sherri]

If I tell someone, is it even reasonable to expect that they will keep quiet? After all, I told, right? There are people who can absolutely be trusted with a secret, but they are a rare breed, a very rare breed.

[Karen564]

If I tell someone, is it even reasonable to expect that they will keep quiet? After all, I told, right? There are people who can absolutely be trusted with a secret, but they are a rare breed, a very rare breed.

[SIZE=2]I am proud to be one of those very rare breeds...and considered rare in more ways than one..[/SIZE]

[Leslie Langford]

i have not yet told any one except my Fiance` i'm acually thinking of asking her if SHE wants to tell our room mates...that way maybe i can dress alittle more freely, we just moved in with these people and that really basshed out my dressing time with a iron skillet. i only own boyshorts and thongs so in that way i'm always dressed but i like to wear her tight shirts and blosses and stuff and i don't get to do that...

I havent told any of my freinds just because they are that "freinds" i'm sorry but i have a REALLY hard time trusting people... there is one of my freinds i would tell if i had the chance.. in fact i think he may have caught me one night... i was dressing in my upstairs bath room and i forgot to shade the window... and (he lived next door to me at the time) i herd vocies in the ally way it was him and his mom... i heard him say wow it looks like Tony has a girl over to his house... then i herd acually that kinda looks like tony... of course by then i was out of that room and lights off and such... but i think he might have assumed at the time... i never herd anything more from him about it. his mom was saying something like well if thats what tony likes to do then hey.... LOL his mom now thinks i'm satans defective son but that's a different story... my point is that if they are TRUE freinds then i don't think they would be such a dooch to out someone they acually like... if they are your freind they will like you for who you are, not nessicarily what you do...

Well, you know what they say, Tonya...

"A friend helps you move; a true friend helps you move a body" .

[jenifer m.]

when i told my wife about jenifer she some how felt she needed to let her sister in on our little secret.my wife always knew about me wearing girly clothes but diddnt know i went out in public in full fem dress,her sister has said on a few occasions that she wants to see me as jenifer some day,and i said ha! fat chance,but she asks about every fifth time she sees me now.i just wonder who her sister has told?i cant imagine she can keep such a burning secret to her self.but i hope she does cuz im not ready to come out to every body we all know.maybe some day who knows?

[sherri]

[SIZE=2]I am proud to be one of those very rare breeds...and considered rare in more ways than one..[/SIZE]

I believe you sugar.

But don't tell anyone about me, okay?