This sounds so very familiar to me Christina. I understand what you're saying because I've been down that roadDid anyone who didn't start transition until after their twenties, think back and not really have a time in their childhood where they really wanted to be a girl?
Reason I ask is I'm trying to work out what dressing and gender identity is to me, and I'm easily led at times so have fit an article about TS people very, very closely to myself. However I don't recall feeling like the wrong gender until I examined why I was dressing and why I felt so much better (nonsexually) recently (though I have never had an attachment to "being male" or my genitals in particular.
I didn't start transitioning until, well, significantly after my 20s. I was essentially raised in a church until I graduated from high school. I always knew something was wrong with me but I had no idea what it was and, of course in that situation, I had nobody to talk to about it. There were bits and pieces, snippets of truth but nothing I would allow myself to believe or accept. It wasn't until I found a web forum I finally realized I wasn't alone and that opened the flood gates and finally enabled me to understand and accept why I'd felt wrong my whole life.
Only you know the answer you seek. I found mine in that place deep inside me I was always afraid to go. For me, finding the answer wasn't nearly as difficult as accepting it.
Follow your heart and you'll find the truth