I enjoy both sides of myself, both Robert and Helen. My chosen profession that I'm getting into would be a bit more difficult as a woman, but almost impossible as a transvestite. My past job in the military was only open to men, so being a woman would have been out of the question. I enjoy guy things; Jeeps, guns, hunting, that sort of thing and while I know that women can do those things too that's the part of me that I reserve for Robert.
Helen is the side of me that I just plain enjoy at other times. Sometimes I could go days as Helen, but it would create problems being out locally. I really enjoy the freedom of expression in fashion, the clothes, the shoes, the make-up and the night wear. After all, if you ever have a man's suit made they'll show you books of fabrics that literally contain hundreds of shades of gray, black and dark blues. How boring!
Since it's impossible to become a changeling like you see in some science fiction movies then what I would really like is the following. That makes the assumption that society would accept it. I'd like to be completely hairless, minus the top of my head of course, and I'm working on that at the moment with laser hair removal. I'd like to have the build of a female, the hips, the breasts, the waist, the whole shape and I'd like to dress as a female (skirts or dresses) almost all of the time, but at the same time I'd like to be a guy just on occasion.
Yeah, I know, sounds really mixed up, and maybe I am, but for now I'm just taking the ride and seeing where it takes me. Afterall, the journey is the real adventure, the destination is just a place.
