I have an analogy re the chasers. Let's see if this makes sense.
I have a lesbian friend at work that will sometimes refer to BBWs, big beautiful woman, which is a phrase I hate. It kinda doesn't sound so bad as each word...but the problem is the BBW-lovers, chubby chasers, who like a girl only or mainly because of her size (maybe there is a female equivalent but if so I have not heard of it).
Just like most of us (and by us, I mean humans), I want to be loved for WHO I am. And the people being discussed here maybe fall into that category, where it is just about a sexual fetish and nothing to do with caring for people as individuals.
Now the chubby chaser is gonna buy chocolates or whatever your favorite is and sabotage weight loss efforts out of their own selfish desire. And the guy that wants to mold you into his skinny ideal image is no good either.
So it boils down to is one aspect of ourselves an object of another's desire or are we complete individuals relating in a human way to other complete individuals.
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