What's your biggest fear about going out en femme?

[PortiaHoney]

I'm afraid of ever going back. My journey is heading forwards.

To those of you afraid of being clocked because of your voice, it can be changed. I actually don't mind being clocked a lot of the time now. It used to be my biggest fear, but I have met so many nice people because of it, most of the time it's a bit of an advantage. Of course you get the occassional a#seh#le, but I am finding that most of the people who clock you are the nicer people who aren't afraid to ask "good" questions and take a real interest. As for the others, I don't care any more. I am living my life, nobody elses.

Honestly, once you get over the "fear" of everything, life becomes much easier and happier.

Good luck

Portia

[Karren H]

I have no real fears...

[Tora]

Not being able to get out of Pittsburg, with my Hockey stick. Oh, and about dressing, no one cares.

[ReneeT]

my fears have changed over time, and are no longer really fears, just cautions and concerns. When i first started going out, i was fearful of a lot - passing, being recognized, being ostracized, violence, seeing people i know, etc. Now that i have been going out on a regular basis (5-6 times/mo), I have overcome these fears:

Passing: I assume i don't pass - when i do, great, but i don't dwell on it. I try to present myself as a well put together crossdresser. I do like to dress nicely, but not in a style that you would not expect to see a gg wear. Now, I do like my heels, so that is often an attention-getter. However, gg's in heels get my guy attention, so i don't think i am out of line there. On average, I like to be among the better dressed girls out there, passing or not.

Being Recognized: I am still concerned about being recognized, but a few things have happened to attenuate this. First, I like and accept myself, and am prepared (i think) to handle any exposures. Second, Renee is so different than my guy mode that i am fairly confident that no one would make the connection. Case in point: I spent the last several days in Memphis at a hotel that i stay at about 20 days/yr. 2 nights ago i went out to a concert at the Orpheum dressed to the nines ( see post in pictures section). On my way out of the hotel, i stopped at the front desk to ask the gal there about directions. We talked for about 15 min and she even took a bunch of pictures of me. She was off duty when i returned, but the next day (yesterday) i came back from business meetings en drab and she was at the desk. I chatted briefly with her (bought a beer actually!) and she registered absolutely no recognition. A few hous later i headed back out, well-dressed for another concert. She immediately recognized me from the night before and was very chatty. I asked her point-blank if she recognized me from earlier en drab and she literally had vapor lock - she just couldn't connect the two of me! This really solidified my notion that, even if i don't pass, i don't look like my guy self

Being Ostracized: For me, it's all about being confident and engaging when interacting with people. i try to act naturally and not creepy. When people are engaged in conversation, they generally lose their reservation quickly. I now have several SA's and waiters who were initially standoffish but now know me by name and are really fun to be around

Violence: I follow my instincts and stay in safe places - i don't generally go places i wouldn't take my wife, like biker bars, etc. I really should get a cwp, though

Seeing people i know: Having said all of the above, i still would rather not run into someone that has not met Renee. So, i usually, but not always, go out when i am out of town

Sorry for the long post. . . .

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

My only fear going out femme is that I would be spotted by family,friends and co workers and fear what their reaction would be. Outside of that,I don't fear name callers, I could careless,someone attacking me,no problem because I'll take care of them right on the spot. Us Philly gurls are tough.


Felicity

Tanya,
I just checked out your pics and I have to agree with Suzy. You do pass.You look absolutely fabulous.



Felicity

[NatalieBliss]

My biggest fear of going out is not being treated like a human being, up to and including violence. I could careless if I pass (though it is nice when it happens), just so long as I am treated with some modicum of respect and decency.

[MargaretJ]

My only real fears are getting seen leaving or entering my house, and I try to avoid groups of males or males on their own, when walking outside.

[JenniferR771]

When I come upon someone I know. --but I hid out successfully. Or the time when a lady reported to the manager that there was a man in the dressing room. She had to wait in line too long. She made a sign like she was going to retch. And the time when the little girls were pointing at me. But then their mother apologized to me for them. And well there was the time I dropped my bag with the panties as I walked out of Goodwill. I went back and they were saving them for me--whew! There were fine with

[Lexine]

TBH my biggest fear is if somehow I did a really poor job with my concealer hehe. Otherwise, I think that I'm improving on the voice front and I'm trying to work on my femme personality. If anything my biggest fear is that CDing becomes so "commonplace" for me that it stops becoming special...

[APRIL0401]

I'm always concerned about my voice. My biggest fear while driving is having car trouble. Sometimes I don't always bring a change of male clothes with me. I would hate changing a flat tire in a dress. I would hate having some man pull over to help me. And I would hate to get all yucky and dirty.

[jenna_woods]

none at all now, I used to fear it all, now I just enjoy every minuite i am out and about, as I did today

[adrienner99]

I worry most about being spotted by someone I know--and causing embarrassment for my family--none of whom "know."

[NathalieX66]

I fear the unreasonable cop.
While my state now has laws protecting transgendered people (...that includes YOU, crossdresser), I fear that out there is the sexually frustrated knuckle-dragging frat-boy or former US marine that didn't get the memo, who just wants to find no reason at all to be a bad cop. I't 2 o'clock in the morning & you have one headlight out? Oh, let's see what else we can find to mess up your evening.
:hwac:

[Tranny Tee]

I have a fear of being recognised. If I were to be recognised by someone I know, there woud be very minor consequences at the worst.
Thinking about it rationally there is little for me to be afraid of when I go out. Most of my fear is out of force of habit.

The more I go out the easier it becomes.
The more I go out the more the fears go away.

[Alberta_Pat]

As a truck driver, my biggest fears surround the departure from and return to my home.

My wife has some disabilities, and lives alone for the time I am on the road (5 days at a time).

There has been some physical action towards the TG community in the area I live, and I would not wish to have my wife harmed in any way due to my indulgences.

I have some concerns about being recognized by people, but those who know me in either guise tell me that I am unlikely to be recognized "en femme".

[gabimartini]

I've read all replies, so far! It's interesting to gather everybody's views. Show us we are not alone and that is a good thing!

Bottomline is that though fears may exist, we must not allow them to paralyze us from doing what we must. A lady's gotta do what a lady's gotta do, right? So, conquer your fears and keep on dressing, everyone! (as if it were an option not to) :-P

Thanks for sharing!

[skirtsuit]

My only trepidation, not fear, the slightly increased chance of violence when out en femme at night in a big city. I'll go anywhere and do just about anything during the day, but at night a girl's got to be careful - probably not much different from how many GGs feel.

I've had a few encounters with creeps, but nothing has made me feel less safe than riding a Philly city bus deep into south Philly at midnight. Both times I've done it the bus was full of men, all staring at me as I made my way to the back for one of the few empty seats. Not again. I'll ride my bike, get a ride, or stay at home thank you.

All the Best,
Ann / SkirtSuit

[Jannette H]

My biggest fear was running into people in our neighbor hood I know. If one person knows they all know which is not necesarily a good thing.

[PretzelGirl]

I am a pretty nervous person. So everything is still a fear as I need more experience. But it isn't going to stop me from enjoying myself. But I think my big one when all is said and done will be:

My biggest and maybe my only fear anymore is being recognized by someone I work with.

[Tasha McIntyre]

I have all the typical giveaways, height, shoulders, hands etc so I know I ain't fooling anyone who looks hard enough so passing is not an issue.

Like most here, the only real fear I have is being recognized by someone I know.

[Nicole Brown]

Well, to be honest, my biggest fear is finding the perfect dress in my size and in a color that I just love and finding that I left my purse at home and I am without cash or a credit card to buy it.

[sherri52]

I fear breaking a heel when I don't have a second pair with me

[Rachel Morley]

I don't have any fears about going out en femme, per se .... it's the type of people I might meet when I'm out en femme that I fear. Like perhaps people who are transphobic or who are homophobic and mistakenly think I must be gay because I'm dressed as a girl, and that they hate those two things so much that that want to hurt me. If I was feeling brave and strong that day then I might be able to handle verbal abuse but I don't want to be a victim of any kind of physical violence. Right now I do fear my neighbors on the one side. The house next door is rented and the new family are very "tough looking" and they shout a lot at their kids and generally make me feel uncomfortable about being me both in boy mode but especially girl mode.

[Carly D.]

My biggest fear is what I haven't thought of.. What could go wrong beyond everything I have thought of.. The unknown.. Somebody thought it, so I wrote it.. I dealt it..

[Billijo49504]

Running out of money shopping BJ:drink: