You have just entered a storm and there is no way of knowing if it will blow over tomorow or last for months or years. Initial reactions are not necessarly the final ones. Time may change things, but if you want to stay with her, you must be willing to work out a situation both you and her can agree to.
After 10 years of marriage and her having no clue, this has hit her like a freight train. Especially since you are having thoughts of taking it further, which you may not have even told her that part yet. Think of how it must feel to her, an affair can and usually does come to an end. Being TG, whether you are CD or progress to TS, doesn't end. She would not have to be the one to change, if it was just an affair. She now is the one who has to change if she wants to stay with you being TG. That's not impossible, as attested by many GG's here on the forum, but it will take time and a lot of compromise from both of you. To be fair to her, you must find out who you are and what you want as soon as possible.
Counseling for both of you, together AND individually is a MUST for the relationship to have a chance of lasting in peace.
