Why? What drives you to CD?

[adrienner99]

When I dress I experience great relief at temporarily not having to "be male."

I simply adore women's fashions. I constantly look at girl's clothingon the streets--moreso than at the girl.

Some of it is fetish-related (in my case, high heels, lipstick and satin dresses).

Just as there are multiple motivations for dressing I believe there are multiple "degrees" of it, and it may help both of you to identify his...Is he content to dress only occasionally? Does he feel he might really be a woman? Does he have a strong urge to pass or to go out in public? How often and how long does he dress? Can he balance both a male and female mode of behavior and be satisfied?

Ultimately I have no idea why I dress, other than I love it and feel I am only my true self when dressed....

[fallen_rayne]

It's different for everyone, most definitely. For me, for example, I CD because of my desire to be female. I have a deep desire to be and live as a total and complete female. I may or may not ever actually reach that point in my life. But i am working toward something that makes me happy. It's my life and my happiness, so I'll do what i want with it. :D

~Jamie~

[txrobinm]

ok my guy persona is long-cultivated, kind of a non-conformist cool jazz guy (I'm a musician). Yet I still have thoughts that I must suppress while playing this role, even as it is very comfortable for me, having done it all these years. These are the femme thoughts, how I'd rather talk relationships with women than sports with men, observe and discuss art, fashion, makeup, etc- things that usually (except maybe for the art) aren't done as manly men. So every 2-3 weeks Robin gets to go out and be girl-like. These are very freeing times as I don't have to self-filter my thoughts between thinking and speaking. I'm lucky that my GF is very accepting, and that I like both sides of me- this is complicated enough without adding hormones or taking other steps to transition. Everyone's path is different, though, but that's mine right now.

[crusadergirl]

I really don't know what drives me to cd because i never felt i should be a girl when i was younger i always did guy stuff. I just know its something i was destined to do in order to grow as a person and become who i am meant to be.

[Lucy_Bella]

The one who loves Nacey,
For me I really can't explain it.. It is just a urge something inside says I need to express myself and will not stop nagging until I do.. Kinda like a splinter if you do not pull it out sooner or later it's going to fester ,hurt and may even pop out on it's own..

[charlotte_sp]

I believe the consensus in the medical community is that there is something called gender identification...basically which gender you think you belong to.
The identification seems to happen during early childhood (5-7ish) and doesn't seem to change afterwards.
Many of us seem to have identified with the opposite gender when we were very young.

As far as the cause(s), that's an open question.
I think it's less likely to be genetic because nothing interesting biologically is happening at those ages.
I think it is probably some combination of social causes that trigger the "wrong" identification, such as relationships with your peers, relationships with siblings, possibly self-esteem, etc.

Unfortunately, it's not a topic that has been studied deeply.
Also, as with any study of human behavior, it's difficult to prove something with certainty.

[Kate Simmons]

CDing is actually driven by deep seated feelings seeking fulfillment. Many just go with the flow and enjoy the "glitter" part, however. It takes real time and effort to explore those feelings, accept them and integrate them into one's overall self.

[Susan4]

My earliest memories include ... wishing I was a girl like my aunts and cousins, CDing with my cousins when we were 4-5 ... the feeling has always been there. I don't know why. A chemical wash in my moher's womb? genetics? an unremembered trauma in my very early years?

At puberty, the pink fog came ... and the wish became an urge

As I became BIG and TALL ... the urge became suicidal as I couldn't pass. That was scary.

That phase resulted in psychiatric help ... after a time my gender identity disorder was 'satisfied' by part-time CDing - and feeling good about it. Given my family and work obligations ... the theory was ... better a functional male who is a part-time CDer ... than a dysfunctional female, a broken family and the loss of a high paying, high status job. It mostly worked.

And ... now, in my middle age ... my inhibitions are losing their power. I've started to explore the world ... a little bit of it anyway. I've decided I don't need to pass ... blending is good enough. People fall over themselves to show you how sophisticated they are. I love the 21st century.

But back to the question... why? ... because I can't stop, If I do, the phantasies take over and I can't focus on work, life or family. CDing provides a welcome and happy release ... I love doing it.

Hugs
Susan

[BRANDYJ]

I can't speak for everyone, but I know for me it was a learning experience starting with my first ever orgasm with my mother's full white slip at age 10-11. From there it was experimenting with girls clothes I found in an empty apartment attack attached to our house. It was all and always sexual back then. Remember, this was back in the 50's, so no way to learn anything about crossdressing. I just knew I was the only boy in the world that would ever do this. I'd put on whatever girl clothes I could find, get excited and after the big O, could not get the clothes off fast enough. I felt strange, bad, and odd....that is until the next time.
It was years later that the sexual side of it transformed into something much more. It slowly grew to be a part of me. Is it still sexual? Yes, but I no longer dress just for the sexual thrill. No longer rip the clothes of after the deed. Most of the time there is no 'deed' lol I simply enjoy expressing my feminine side. I have been lucky in having 2 past relationships where I was totally accepted for being the man and CD I am. My present So also accepts, enjoys and participates in my dressing. Part of the reason she was drawn to me to begin with.
I could go on with some things I was exposed to that might also lead me to become who and what I am, but it would take a book!
All I can say is that today, it is a part of me and I am happy.

[kimdl93]

Like so many on this site, my first interest was evident very early in life. I was attracted to women's clothes even as a pre-schooler....and quite honestly...I felt like I was different and quite "wrong" for having those interests. Like most of us, I suppressed that desire till it came out again in my late teens, then suppressed it again for a few years, until my ex wife, on a lark, encouraged me to dress up as part of bedroom play. From then on, its been a part of my life.

[Anneliese]

Stress relief is Number One.

Although all my relationships have been hetero to this point (in my 50s), there hasn't been a single one where the woman wasn't hornier than I was.

When my ex split (after I kicked her out), she literally left with the clothes on her back (her choice). I was left with a ton a clothes previously worn by my beautiful and oversexed ex. I tried on a few things then, and found the experience pretty exciting, but that was it at the time.

Years later, while in an extremely stressful job, I tried it again, and found it amazingly relaxing. I also enjoyed the feeling of being a woman in appearance. When I left that job, I didn't feel the need for years. A couple of months ago my current job reached the stress levels of the previous one, and once again, I sought solace dressing.

This time, I think it's going to be a regular thing. It's just too damned fun.

On another note, I continue to be amazed with all those here who have supportive spouses/girlfriends. It seems it would be extremely risky to be open about CDing, even though that's always the best policy, I suppose. Telling someone early in the dating phase would seem as though it would sabotage the relationship right off the bat most of the time, and those repulsed by it would seem likely to tell their friends/co-workers etc.

[tammygirl79]

I know for me it was pretty simple. Ever since I was a little boy, I wanted to be a girl. like one of the other ladies on here said, I too used to pray that I would wake up one morning and be a girl instead of a boy. It wasn't a sexuall thing...at that age you don't know anything about sex. And I have always been heterosexual so that's not the reason either. I started dressing up in womens cloths as a teenager and felt as close to "complete" as I could without actually physicaly being a woman. All I know is that for me it is not a sexual thing...I'm not quite sure what it is. All I know is I feel more comfortable as a woman, and I feel more attractive as a woman. And for me, that is what is more important then knowing the reasons why exactly.

[kym]

for me it started back when i was four or five trying on my grandmothers nylons(stockings and pantyhose), when she discovered it she embraced it and helped me. It was always a feeling that I was in the wrong body, I was never into sports back then, now adays its nascar racing and thats it. I was never a rough and tumble type of boy. I dressed on and off through high school and college years,I never had a steady girlfriend through those years for fear that they would discover my "other side". Certainly at one point there was a sexual thrill to it, but that passed in a year or so and I kept on looking pretty. Now when I look in the mirror as a male it just doesn't look right to me(i.e. thats not me that has to be someone else)in female mode its a natural feeling and a natural look to me. Funny thing is I have a wife that is totally accepting and can tell no matter how I'm dressed or presenting whether I'm kym her wife or taylor her husband, according to her the only time my male side(taylor) is present is when I am either in pain from some injury or extremely pissed off(please excuse the language ).

To have a GG like you wanting to learn more about being a crossdresser or transgender to better understand and support their SO is rare and refreshing to me. I encourage you to explore at your own pace that side of him and have fun with it, it doesn't mean he;s gay or "bi" for the most part nor does it mean he loves you any less, its just a part of him that can be wonderful for both of you. It also does not mean that just because you love him and are attracted to hime that you are a lesbian or bi. It does mean that you are with and in love with a very special person.

[dominique]

I've always had a fascanation of womens clothes from an early age. The way they looked and the multitude of fashions. Then I started to experiment with my mother's clothes and I liked it. From then on I was hooked on it. Now I'm completey immersed in the cd ethos. Enjoy going out dressed.

[IloveNancy]

Thank you to everyone that has shared their feelings and experiences! I never dreamed my little question would yield so much insight and sharing.

My boyfriend does not want me to discuss his CDing with any of my friends, which I ABSOLUTELY respect and honor, so this site and forum has given me a tremendous outlet. I have come to realize that CDing is something that can not be changed or repressed. I have chosen to run toward her (Nancy) rather run away. It has been one of the most gratifying choices in my life on many-many levels. Please keep the comments coming. Thank you Ladies!

[Jamiegirl1]

I have a very strong desire to dress and look female.It makes me happy`,an escape from my stressful everyday life.I like how I feel in short dresses,high heels,wig,jewelry. I feel pretty, and sexy.I used to masturbate every time I was dressed,now I just enjoy being feminine.I cannot explain why,I don't know.I am almost 52 and the older I get, the more I want to dress.I do however think about being with a man while I'm dressed en femme,I am not interested any other time.I also only want what is between their legs,not attracted to men.I sometimes wish I was a full time woman,but I know that will never happen,too much to lose....

[MargaretJ]

For me, it is as someone said earlier, a hobby. I just like wearing womens clothes, and in the last few years, doing make up and going out. My earliest CD memory is at 4 years old, so it can't be the sexual angle. The easiest explanation I can give, is that as a youngster, I found male clothing to be very dull, all greys and dark colours, where womens clothing was colourful and so varied. I also remember watching a film in the 60's, where a woman is walking down a street in a tight pencil skirt and heels and stockings, and I thought that was the most wonderful thing I had ever seen, and my love of heels and stockings stems from that. Again I would have been about 6 or 7, so it wasn't a sexual thing in that case either.

[danielle.cd]

as a gg you should know the feeling you get when you get all dolled up and look in the mirror and say mmmmhhmmmm i look gooooooddd well for me its the same way even in guy mode if i get all suited up i still think that but when i go enfemm its even better cause u have more options like dresses or skirt necklaces or what makup ,different lipsticks thers not to many options for a guy as opposed to a girl

[Jilmac]

I can only speak for myself but for me, I dress simply because I love it. I love all the pretty clothes that women get to wear. I love the pretty feeling I get when I dress. I love being called Ma'am by those I come in contact with. Whenever I dress, I feel totally like a lady in thoughts, actions, and jestures. Many long years ago there was some sexual arousal, but at this point in my life it is all pure pleasure. I am also able to enjoy my male side when I'm not dressed. I hope this will help you better understand your BFs desire to dress.

[notthereyet]

Who doesn't want to be a female? Male's want to but will not admit it.

[kayegirl]

[QUOTE=Kaz;2173323]I so wish I could explain it... I have spent many years trying to deny it, excuse it, research it, live with it? I have now decided to live with it. It isn't going away and I have wasted so much of my life trying to *sort it out" and dealing with the fallout.

And here's another Yorkshire girl who feels just the same. I started to dress at such a young age that sex or sexuality were words that I hadn't even heard, let alone understood.

[Lexine]

Why I CD is primarily a mix of these different things:
1. To express my femininity in a more visual and aural manner.
2. To break other people's gender expectations by breaking out of the gender role from time to time.
3. To question people's understanding of gender by presenting an androgyne appearance.
4. To show my friends that I can try something completely outside of my comfort zone and still remain the same person that they've come to know and love.
5. To build confidence to face even greater challenges in the outside world.
6. To purposely not attract any potential girlfriends (although this has severely backfired... in a good way ) or boyfriends (not attracted to guys at all).

[Jonianne]

No, not really, but it is like someone who has a deficiency in some area that causes him/her to crave certain foods. I am male, but I have always had a craving or a need for the feminine as well. Not all the time, but enough to satisfy the need that I have emotionally. I don't identify "as" a female, but it sure feels right for me to identify "with" females.

Trying to explain why, is like trying to explain why I love to listen to classical music. Like classical music, it's wordless music that touches the soul and spirit.

I believe that people, if left alone, will gravitate to where they get their needs met.

It is who we are simple as that......

[NicoleScott]

Some of us - many of us - make up and dress because it's exciting, arousing, and fun, not because of some deep-rooted desire to be ...whatever. We don't want to be a female, just look like one for a brief time. We love the feminine image, and transform ourselves into the woman we want but don't have. Certain aspects of dressing up have special significance, and we are drawn to it, such as a high heels fetish. We can and do those things which bring us temporary excitement, nothing more, nothing less. Yes, there are some who should have been born female, but not all of us.

[FemmeElastique]

For me, it's getting attention from guys, getting hit on, and being treated like a woman by both men and women. When I'm a guy, I don't get that treatment, but as soon as I turn into Rebecca, people treat me much differently. Guys sometimes touch me and flirt with me, women talk to me. It's nice. And it turns me on!
Basically, I live my everyday life as a gay guy but I like to CD in select bars and fetish parties. My mannerisms and physical features are naturally feminine. So it works out :-)

Oh! Another thing. I like a masculine/feminine balance when I'm with a guy. When I'm with a guy as a guy, I like to play the feminine role. It makes it more guaranteed when I CD that I play that role.