My wife has known about Kandis since 1995. We've been married since 2002, so she has known since long before we ever got involved with one another, and well before we got married.I really do consider myself very lucky to have an understanding and accepting wife, and of course now our daughter has known since she was 9 or 10 years old, (she just turned 15 last Tuesday).
Kandis
Someone once told me "Put on Your big girl panties and deal with it". If they only knew, I WAS ALREADY WEARING THEM.
I wear the bras and panties so my wife doesn't have to.
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[SIZE="3"]My gf knows I CDseen all the clothes ect, but tollerates it & keeps reminding me she dosent approve
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[SIZE="3"] Mandy xx[/SIZE][SIZE="3"]Dont knock it, till youve tried it[/SIZE]
[SIZE="3"]Qualified & Insured Waxing Therapist[/SIZE]
There's been so many replies here, I don't think I can give any novel advice; however posting does help to show how many can make CDing and marriage work. I told my wife a year after we were married, but before we had kids. We've had some up and downs over the eight year since, but in the end I think it has brought us closer together. She isn't thrilled with the fact that I CD, but she loves me and supports me. We have found the right balance in our lives to keep both of us happy.
If I could go back and do it over again, I would have told her before we got married; not giving her a chance to know what she was getting into was the toughest thing for her to accept.
My wife doesn't know about my CD. I know her and i am quite sure she never will accept it. So, I really don't know if I want to share with her at the risk of losing her.
My wife knows and accepts me. She isn't ready to see me as a woman yet so I don't dress around her. I do have two days a week when I'm off work and she is at work so that gives me lots of time to be Stacey.
I also have a closet in one of the spare bedrooms that I keep all of Stacey's clothes. My wife knows about this and she stays out of that room.
Not only is she fully supportive, hell, it was my GF that really helped fully flip the switch in my brain. I knew I was different and after some pillow-talk and gentle prodding, she really helped bring it to light.
You have a choice to make. It's not an easy one, no matter which way you decide.Originally Posted by melissacd33
First, let me say this; it is extremely unlikely that you can stop being a crossdresser. I've never heard of anyone being successful at suppressing crossdressing desires. It just doesn't work. I could go on for a while about this, and if you'd like we can talk via e-mail here about that. But, accepting it as de facto that you are going to be a crossdresser for the rest of your life, you then have a choice between two equally tough roads.
One, you can tell your girlfriend. From what you say, there's a huge chance it would be the end of your relationship. A woman you love very much would be gone from your life forever. The turmoil it would cause in your life would be quite large. It's possible (I've no idea what she would do) she might out you to friends and family. Scary, at best.
Two, you can not tell her. You've been with her a very long time, and you both love each other very much. It seems likely, based on that, you will marry her someday. Do you want to live the rest of your life hiding this secret from her? Do you want to live in fear of the day she discovers your little secret, implodes, kicks you out, and demands sole custody of your children?
You're in a pickle, to be sure. There's no easy way out.
I've been married for quite a while now. My wife knows and accepts that I am a crossdresser. It does not create problems for us, and we have a very happy and stable marriage. But, while some might say "you're lucky!!!" it's luck I helped make for myself.
There came a time in my life when I recognized I would be a crossdresser for life. A few years after that, I recognized that I couldn't live a lie; any girlfriend I had would have to know. So, they were told. A few years after that, I became strong enough to insist that not only was any prospective spouse of mine going to have to know, they were going to have to accept and not treat me like crap because I enjoy wearing dresses, heels, pantyhose, etc. In fact, I wanted someone who was supportive.
A few months into dating my now wife, I told her all about my crossdressing. If she ran for the hills, so be it. I didn't want to waste time on someone who wasn't going to accept. If she did accept and was supportive, then fantastic, let's move on deeper into the relationship. She accepted, and not only that, a few days later she bought me pantyhose.
Had I not been upfront with her, had I not had the strength to insist on having a supportive spouse, I never would have found her.
If this woman will not accept you, why spend the rest of your life with her loving and supporting only part of you? Why not find someone who accepts all of you? She isn't the only woman in the world.
My wife knows, she found out!! told me she had known for years and never said anything, we chatted about it, she told me she hates the thought, I told her it is something that is part of me and I need and want to do it, we have not spoken about it since but she knows I am still dressing so maybe one day!!
My wife has known since last Halloween as I had been planning to come out on that day. I had gotten dressed, called her at work - told her not to freak out and what to expect. She got home, laughed, cried, got miffed but we went out that night to a casino I had a ball, she was nervous. She didn't accept this very well but I was honest and told her everything and when I went out I took pictures and showed them to her also sent her phone pictures while I was out. She gradually became more accepting, knowing that I wasent up to anything, now we go shopping together. She has bought me lots of clothes and after 43yrs we are closer than ever
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We went to dinner last night-I wasent dressed as she hasent been out with me dressed since that first time; then we went shopping at Marshalls and she bought us matching tops. When we got home I got dressesd wig and all and she took this picture in front of the house
I guess what I am trying to say is that after a lot of discussions, explaning and after 43 yrs things are going well! It probably would have been a lot better a long time ago. I am very lucky to have a wife who before now was not tollerant of this sort of thing and thought it was all perveted. Go slowly explain all don't hide anything. Good Luck...: Debbie
My GF knows , and accepts Paula , i told her a few years ago when she gave me a telling off one night for looking at girls in town, i finally confessed it wasn,t much the girls i was looking at, it was the outfits they were wearing, and how much i would love to wear such nice clothes. We go shopping now together and buy clothes, make up, the only rules we have is that we dont share clothes, and if she wants a weekend without Paula i go along with it. Im very glad i told her, never had any regrets.
XXXPaulaLee
My wife has known since the day I met her and gets really annoyed about "not seeing her wife enough" if I spend too much time as a boi!
I count myself one of the lucky ones. I initially told a GG friend of mine maybe 9 or so years ago and her reaction was very positive. She eventually moved away but it was nice to have come out to someone.
Since then I met my wife. We started dating about 3 1/2 years ago, within the first month I knew we had a good chance of staying together and having something special. I came out to her as well. She didn't jump up and down with joy but she said she thought she would be Ok with it.
Since then she has slowly gotten uses to the idea and in the last year has seen me dressed. Now she helps me pick out clothes and helps me with my hair when I dress. I try to not dress to often and she tries to be accepting when I do. It's a give and take thing.
On my birthday she bought me burlesque class lessons and I performed in the end of class recital en femme in a class of 14 other women. Everyone was very open and supportive.
My wife and I are also renewing our wedding vows in 69 days but this time I will be the bride. On a side note, the first person I told from the top of this post is going to be my bridesmaid.
I can't believe how lucky I am that I have encountered so many people who are fine with my dressing as a woman. I consider myself very lucky indeed.
Rebecca Bas
I'm currently at a professional meeting for the week. I was complaining about the weight of my suitcase when my wife said, "well, that's what happens when you pack for two, even trying to pack light." She knows Tina is just a bit of high maintenance
tina!
Everybody knows, including my children. Why on earth shouldn't they?
I strut my stuff, I feel so proud,
I need to shout, to scream out loud,
I am Tricia I am she,
I am who I want to be
http://tricia-dale.blogspot.com/
My wife knows and is very accepting. She does have stress off and on about where this will eventually go, but still supports me. We go shopping as two women at least once every few months. She has no problems seeing me or being seen with me, but we do usually drive over an hour from the house so as to avoid friends that don't know about Sally. Early on she helped me pick out all of my clothes and gave me hints on hair and makeup. She still gives me feedback but I know more about makeup than her now and have learned to coordinate my own outfits. I don't ask her approval of my clothing when I go out but I do show her my outfits just before I leave.
The times I spend with her and my adult daughter just doing girl shopping trips are some of the best times of my life! I told her what I knew about myself before we were even engaged and it was the best decission of my life! I wouldn't reccomend anyone get married without first discussing this with their girl. There are just so many sad stories of how it can go when you aren't honest with them. Better to lose them after only a few years together rather than after decades with them. I've been with my wife for over half my life now (32 years)!
Sally
I have a rule to tell all my potential GGs up front. I have recieve a lot of rejections but all are greatful that I told them up front before things got sticky. Most all of them used as an excuse "well I can't compete with you" or how can I compete with you, (what the hell ever that means). I did find a GG that is more than OK with it and when I finally dressed for her she was blown away. Since then we go out dressed together all the time day or night and of course being intimate is fun to.
My gf was told early in our relationship going on 5 yrs now, we are engaged to be married down the road. She has been very excepting from the beginning and has not set any boundaries.
i have a g/f of about 2 years and i told her about a year into the relationship that i would like to dress in font of her and us fool around...we did it once and she was ok with it. a year passed with out doing anything else with it and now were both getting into it. we went out and got some clothes, she has wigs and make-up and is becoming very accepting.
Sorry to make you jealous Melissa but my girlfriend loves Lisa, she and I go everywhere.Joan sometimes forgets that under the clothes and makeup I am still a guy, but we are working on that
Hi Melissa, It was very hard for me to finally tell my wife but it was something that I had to do if I was ever going to be completely happy. We have talked about it alot over the past few years and she has become accepting of Jamie. It didnt happen all at once and at times she still has some reservations but we pretty much have it worked out. Her biggest issue is what others think, and her embarressment when we are out and I am enfemme. It worked for me but not everyone is as accepting. Only you know your SO well enough for that decission. I just wish I would have done it sooner.
Today, my wife bought me a sexy dress and a fluffy pink top at T.J.Max. She would have bought me some panties but none were frilly enough.
Mine knows and fully supports anything I wish to do. However now that she knows (told her over a year ago - was no big deal at all for her - amazing lady = me very lucky !!) I am the one that has the hang up on the whole thing. I don't have to hide anything at all, can dress when I want, buy what I want, leave stuff lying around, put my stuff in the laundry, go shopping with her, you name it. But for some reason I still hide it most times as if I never told her. Not sure why because it doesn't bother her one little bit.
I was lucky. I bravely told my Girlfriend about 1-2 week into our relationship. I thought it would be better then and for her to leave me then further down the line, but to my surprise she was absolutely fine with it, she said she liked the film The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Since then, she has bought me shoes, given me fashion tips and has been very supportive. Though she isn't very keen on my shaving my legsso can't wear a skirt with pale tights very well with hairy legs. I don't wear shorts generally anyway and I don't go swimming much, so not really sure what the problem is, but I guess she has to have a boundery somewhere.
My SO was Accepting and encouraging to start off with three years ago, but now she's moved in here and put down roots (claws ? Hooks ?) and thinks I'm secured and she's here for good 'putting up with it' seems to be her attitude.
Either way it makes life easier...
Oh to be single again !
Oh to be single again !
For when I was single... My pockets did jingle !
Oh to be single again !
My wife knows I crossdress, and she created the list of rules (or boundaries if you like) as to my CDing activities. She plays the 'do what you gotta do, but I don't wanna know about it' game. That all suits me fine as I do get a fair bit of time to myself to hit the shops etc.
BUT
As to where she stands with it varies anywhere from borderline tolerance, to outright hostility depending on which way the wind is blowing. One day she'll ask if I went out today, all kinda calm but with a shake of the head. The next time it will be a snide cutting comment slipped in with a bit of malice.
I suppose that puts me with the group that has a wife that knows but disapproves.
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