How many?

[ReineD]

I like short skirts and high heels. I like showing off and most GG's don't like us attracting that attention to us or them if we are out. So when we get the "hmmm that's a little short isn't it?" we hear "you look bad" and we start internalizing our fears and soon we are in a mood so to speak. Is this because our partners slip into the girlfriend mode? You know when you tell your BFF her outfit makes her look like a ..... instead of a partner mode?

Sarah, I hope it's OK for me to address this question in your thread.

Lori, for my part, when I see my SO dressed in ways that I dress in order to attract and appeal to HIM/HER, I wonder, who is she really dressing for. It can't be me, since I'm not attracted to women in short skirts or tight sweater dresses. To be honest, women (at least the women that I know) don't wear short skirts and sexy heels for each other. My SO maintains that women dress sexily in order to feel good about themselves. But the truth is that the part of it that makes them feel good (when dressed in clothing that sends those signals) is knowing they are attractive to the opposite sex. I know this is a huge generalization to make, but just look generally at the difference a woman who has been married for years dresses when she is out with her husband, or a woman whose focus is very much on her career, vs. a single woman. The way a woman dresses is telling of her receptiveness to or awareness of the man/men in her life.

I know there's been an upsurge of all women LBD parties in recent times, but I think this is a passing fad and it is done more on a lark than anything else. If I were to go to an all women's event where there is no dress code (as I have several times ... been to women's weekend retreats and Avon, kitchenwear, jewelry, and even lingerie parties), the dress style is comfortable and definitely not sexy.

How we handle criticism may determine how we believe our partners support us.

This is very insightful. I had not thought of this before. Thank you for pointing it out!