Maybe the driving force for your crossdressing has been replaced with a different need. Dare I say, a "real" love?
I have sometimes wondered if my need to dress is linked to something missing in my life, rather than driven by gender forces. I can't ignore the feelings I have had all my life, the feminine side of me is definitely real, but I am also aware that the first time those feelings manifested as a desire to crossdress was when I found myself alone at the end of a sexless marriage. The question I ask myself is "Am I crossdressing because I need a female around, or because I am female and cannot continue acting the part of a male?". I really don't know. Both options seem equally possible at different times.
Like you, Julie, I thought I had the answer. I was quite clear in my mind that I want to be a woman. The crossdressing is just a way to open the door to my innermost, female, self. I felt free for the first time in my life. Then the doubts started. With the best will in the world, I do not look or sound or smell like a woman. I am hairy and muscular, who am I kidding? Are we driving ourselves in the wrong direction?
Maybe, in Dawn, you have found the woman you have been looking for, all this time?
