Am I ugly?

[Kim_Bitzflick]

If you're ugly, I'm the one whose face caught fire and they put it out with the back of a shovel;

I assume you are joking. TOO Funny.

Anyway, who wants to look like Tom Cruise?

Actually, my wife told me that just before we got married.

[Kim_Bitzflick]

Beauty comes from within and is always in the eye of the beholder! Viewing your avatar and reading your posts, it is very doubtful that you are an "ugly" individual, but one that judges yourself too harshly! Some moments in our life we may not feel, look, or perform in a beautiful manner, but we are always in our heart & soul an amazing creation.

You are right, I do judge myself harshly.

[Jilmac]

Kim, I understand where you're coming from and how you feel about yourself. My whole life, I considered myself an ugly duckling and envied the girls because they were all pretty. I could actually see myself as pretty when I dressed in girls/womens clothes. After having my first makeover, I felt like the pretty girl I always wanted to be.

[Samantha B L]

Hi Kim, I'll tell you something if you promise to finish your cookies and milk and not to get a bighead,OK? You look very cute and you look very passable. I wouldn't give it a second thought.

[Sarah Doepner]

[QUOTE=Kim_Bitzflick;2277858]
Thinking back to when I was about 9 or 10 years old, I remember thinking I was ugly. That feeling stuck with me through the years. I was teased some but nothing too unusual and it wasn’t about being cute. . . . .
I guess that’s why I want to be a girl sometimes. I want to be pretty. I picture all women as pretty & I want to be like them so I can see myself like I see them.
[QUOTE]

Kim,
I always thought I was ugly as a stump as a man. Back in the day and at my best, cleaned up with a good haircut, fit and in nice clothes I may have approached ruggedly handsome, but still missed it by a good distance. My self image as a boy and later as a man has always suffered, but I'm only homely as a woman. And even a homely woman can wear makeup, cute outfits and get accessories to divert attention from the big nose, square jaw and brow ridge. I may not be pretty, but there is a seed of hope when I get dressed that maybe this time I'll find the right combination of things that will get me there. That never happens in man's clothing.

And if there is any question about the difference all of that makes, just look at the photo thread with the male/female pairs of images. Very few of the men would be considered really handsome (you know who you are, you devils), but the women are knockouts!

And here is the wonderful twist and the value of crossdressing as therapy. After years of crossdressing I'm finally feeling better about myself as a male. A lot of it has to do with things other than my appearance, but I can stand myself now. And Kim, I hope that the therapy you get from your dressing and being so pretty keeps your family together and happy, because that is the real goal here. We do what we can to feel good about ourselves and when that happens we can do more for those we love.

[Kim_Bitzflick]

Hi Kim, I'll tell you something if you promise to finish your cookies and milk and not to get a bighead,OK? You look very cute and you look very passable. I wouldn't give it a second thought.

I won't get a big head, that would look silly on a girl!

Thank you

[msginaadoll]

Well Kim I can empathize with you. As a guy I never felt particularly attractive. Sure I had a few dates, heck and have even been married twice. But self esteem not the best. Even in female mode at times feel awkward and gangly. It has taken a while for me to get it through my thick skull that Im not involved in a beauty pageant. Im just me. And sometimes I dont look half bad. I think a lot of us go through this. I tell you it sure is nice to have supportive friends and this forum

[Jane G]

Kim you just keep being you and you'll do just fine.

[Kim_Bitzflick]

...... I tell you it sure is nice to have supportive friends and this forum

You got that right. Thanks to all of you.

[Annaliese2010]

Ugly? Hell NO you're not. Just the opposite...hot!

[Marshchild]

Like many of the others who've responded so far, I can relate to what the OP has said. I, too, used to hate the way I looked when I was growing up (I think it was just the usual childhood angst about perceiving yourself to be the world's biggest dork), and although my feelings about my appearance have since thankfully done a complete 180, more or less (I wish I could remember when and how that happened), I still have moments when looking in the mirror causes me anguish. I've had recurring problems with the "heartbreak of psoriasis" - something that's always going to give one's self-esteem a battering (thankfully, though, the condition in question has lessened greatly in severity with the passing years) - and don't even get me started on my hair!

While I don't need to dress totally en femme to feel pretty, I do find that if I go too long dressing like just another average guy, my self-esteem starts to suffer. I've got quite a pretty face (hence the change in my feelings towards my appearance), and I always feel that I'm letting my looks go to waste if I don't wear any of the more feminine-looking items in my wardrobe: things which really do bring out those looks. Also, if I dress like everyone else, I feel like everyone else in turn is completely ignoring me, which is always a blow to the ego.

Sometimes I wonder if so many of us feel ugly in guy mode because for so long now (probably since the Industrial Revolution), men haven't been encouraged to look pretty - that, indeed, for a man to strive to be anything more than merely presentable is somehow "wrong". It's that whole thing about how men are valued more for what they do than how they look, and how, even today in these supposedly more equal times, so much of a man's worth is tied up in his "earning potential" (hoo boy, don't even get me started on that one!).

[trappedNhere]

I have to agree with all here. You are truly a beautiful woman. And that has to cross over to the "male" side of you too. Someone with your depth and compassion for others can't have anything but beauty

As for me, I'd be happy with being "passable" en femme. But this body just isn't allowing it at this time. Sexy is the goal. Don't have it either female or male. Best I've ever gotten was "cute" as male and well not so flattering terms en femme.

I did pick up a neglected nighty I "bought" for my wife who hated it (said too tight). I thought she was hot in it. And wore it today. Well I filled it even more than she. The point is while wearing it I felt sexy. I know I didn't look sexyn but the feelings were there

Isn't that what it is all about, how we feel anyway?

I say, be beautiful!!

[tiffanyjo89]

I think we all have those moments that we feel we are "ugly."

It's natural. We know best how we look when we are at our best, and when we aren't there, it subconsciously eats us up. I know that I go through phases where I'm completely happy with the way I look, and then I go through phases where I can't help but pick myself apart.

Same thing with anything even the least bit artistic I do. I always feel like I could do better, but everyone else says it looks good.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's natural to have those "I'm ugly" moments. The key is to not let those moments become you. It isn't positive thinking, it's remembering you're human, and to be human means you're never gonna be "perfect."

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kim
Have you cleaned you mirror lately maybe thats the problem you sure look pretty to me.

Orchid

[Claire Cook]

My beauty isn't what I see, but I how I feel inside.

Kim, Elle makes a great point -- beauty comes from within, and the "within you" is the same no matter what you are wearing (but maybe la dress helps to bring it out). Your wife's response is wonderful, thanks for sharing.