Jonianne,
I'm certain that the "healthy sense of self" is an issue. Sometimes it's hard for me to see my fem self as someone deserving of respect.
Kathi,
You are exactly right on all your points. That's why I said what I did about it seeming derogutory. This is just a manifestation of a point that has been driven home to me time and time again over the past several months. My girl side is and always has been a refuge, and I want it to continue to be. It kind of messes up the whole escape from reality thing when I have to deal with real difficulties during my girl time. It messes with my head. I'm not good at it and I don't want to do it. I thought I might get better at it, but so far I'm not. In fact I think I'm getting worse at it because I anticipate it and dread it. We're having a pretty rough go of it right now, and none of it has anything to do with crossdressing, which given my history is pretty odd in itself. I apparently make a good girlfriend, but I pretty much suck at being a boyfriend (particulary when I'm dressed like a girlfriend).
