I was never a bar person either, and only started when I began dressing. At the time, I had no conscious interest in men, but I chose gay/lesbian bars and still do. Why? Because I am confident I won't be unwelcome or hassled there. That has proven to be true -- I've never had an unpleasant encounter in a gay bar. The fears expressed in this and other threads are largely baseless, and I'll tell you why:
- The majority of gays and lesbians are not interested in you as a prospective sexual partner -- or even as a close friend -- given your gender preference and expression.
- That said, no one is going to be hostile toward you, and some will be friendly, even reaching out to get acquainted.
- In the event you do get hit on, so what? Take it as a compliment, flattery even, and communicate that when you inform your admirer, tactfully, that you're not interested. If he persists, restating your disinterest, a little more firmly this time, will end the matter. Handled right, it's no big deal. I've even gone on to become friends with thwarted suitors.
- Here's a tip: Don't assume you won't like dancing, even if you're not a dancer. You'll probably love it if you'll just relax and go with it.
I think it would be fun to go to a straight club sometime, but I'm too chicken to go by myself. Why? Because, right or wrong, I'm not sure people there would be as benign.
Having said all that, bars do get boring after awhile, especially if you don't make some new friends, and even if you do. I luv to go so I can dance with my friends, but sometimes we go hang out at their home, have parties, etc., so that's fun, and it would have never happened had I been afraid to go to a gay bar.
