Any transgenderist out there

[Aprilrain]

So I took the COGATI and scored a 70, androgynous. I know the test is bull but I felt that this was probably fairly accurate. My therapist said that I'm probably just a tomboy which I can't really argue with either. I feel pretty out of place as a male but don't hate my male parts (except when I want to wear tight jeans) and I'm skeptical of the end results of SRS. Why would I want to be asexual for the rest of my life? But then again I find my self thinking about it everyday at some point. I am OK with being a transgenderist, as I have come to understand the word, but in a lot of ways this seems more complicated than male or female. How do I present my self when, were, and to who. It seems like a constant state of transition rather than getting to the other side. I guess in a lot of ways I like the ambiguity of my mental gender state I just have a lot of anxiety about my physical gender. If you put a gun to my head and said take the blue pill or the pink one I'd definitely take the pink because I've already done the blue for 30+ years. I'm rambling sorry.

[Karen564]

Hmmm, think I tried that too....but it didn't work out too well....LOL

[Rianna Humble]

I feel pretty out of place as a male but don't hate my male parts (except when I want to wear tight jeans) and I'm skeptical of the end results of SRS. Why would I want to be asexual for the rest of my life?

Not sure what you mean by that. As far as I know, putting your anatomical gender in line with your brain gender does not render you asexual. From what I read on these forums, people who have had GRS actually feel like a complete woman (if MtF) or man (if FtM) and I'm pretty sure that having the right anatomy would be an asset in any sexual relationship.

I am OK with being a transgenderist, as I have come to understand the word, but in a lot of ways this seems more complicated than male or female. How do I present my self when, where, and to who.

I'd like to understand more of what that word means to you. If you mean having a balance between your male life and your female life, that would seem to be a good thing. Only you can then decide in which circumstances you wish to present as one or the other, but AIUI once you decide, you would be fairly consistent with how you present in those circumstances. You might (for example) decide that you should present yourself as male when at work, but female when out with close friends who are not from work. If that works for you, why not?