It is only in recent years that I have come to realize the origin of my interest in dressing, or wearing some female clothing. I started when I was 13 or 14 and would wear panties and other purloined clothing. I got caught and embarrased and that stopped that, at least in the practise end. After high school came college, military a wife and a career and no dressing to speak of. Wore panties for a while during married years but there wasn't any desire to dress. In the last 3 or 4 years though my interest has increased and I only dress at home and do it when I feel like it which is now most evenings after my day is over, but it is not an obsession. It is more of a way to relax also.
. What became clear for me though is that I did dress only during times when I had no relationship, and it was clear at some point that I began because there was no mother in my life (so I made a cloth substitution). My parents worked in jobs requiring them to be away when I was home and they were there when I was asleep. So the ebb and flow is really part of the psychology of my life and the lack of a female in it--a mother when young, a wife or other female companion as an adult. Though I do have a lady friend now, I still find that I like dressing, more so since my hormones after surgery have gone haywire, and a medication gave me gynecomastia. Now my cup nearly runneth over. The other odd thing I discovered was during a whole lifetime, when I would be in a store, I would unconsciously walk down the isles in the women's dept and look at the clothing without realizing that there was something there in the back of mind. SO while I substituted clothing for a parent and it simply went away when I was in a realtionship--and I wasn't subservient by any means--there is still something there that says it was not just psychology. And. of course, there was always the embarrasment and the bad feelings attached to dressing that may have unconsciously kept me from doing it.. Otherwse not dressing seemed to be voluntary and it was something I didn't need. I had basically a voluntary 40 year hiatus.
I'm a regular guy with lots of things to do and every day is too short.