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Thread: Therapist talked about Three Questions?

  1. #26
    Senior Age Member sissystephanie's Avatar
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    I certainly like females!! I was born a male and hope to die as one. And yes I do like my "bits," since they proclaim that I am a male even if I have a dress on!!
    Stephanie

    Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

  2. #27
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    I like females but when I'm in a feminine mood I am curious about men.
    I am neutral on my bits until I have to do something with them when I dress.
    I really wish I could live as a woman, but I have to hold my male role while in the military.

  3. #28
    Wanna-Be Girl Jenna Lynne's Avatar
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    When discussing such questions with therapists in years gone by, I'm sure I went out of my way to sound more assured about the answers than I really felt. I would caution anyone against getting boxed in by their own answers to such questions.

    One good way to approach an answer is to reply, "You mean, today?"

    The variable that I'm keenly aware of that your therapist seems to have skipped over is romantic orientation. This is NOT the same as sexual partner preference, though a lot of people (especially non-transgenders) seem to assume the two are the same.

    My romantic interest has always been in women; I find men stupid, scary, and covered with cooties. But when I'm dressed, my fantasy sexual partner preference is bi with a distinct leaning toward men.

    I like my bits, but today I identify (in my mind, not socially) as female.

  4. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by BRANDYJ View Post
    I guess I'm the odd one out. I am attracted to women
    I like my genitals
    I identify as a male with some of the better female traits.
    You're not odd those are essentially my answers as well.

  5. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by DeeInGeorgia View Post
    There is actually a forth item, body itself, and how masculine or feminine it is, such as small hands, wide or narrow hips, facial features, etc.
    I think those can help or hinder depending on the answers to the 3 questions.

  6. #31
    Full-Time Duality NathalieX66's Avatar
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    All good to know.
    I have a solid dozen of therapists/counselors lined up, a good portion are covered by my pcp. I'll pay out of pocket if need be. I googled therapists who specialize in gender identity/LGBT issues specifically in my locale. All I have to do is dial the phone number. It may actually seem worthwile in my case, as i have a few uphill battles.

    In my case, I'm not looking for that cherished (or desperate, in some cases) magic letter or reference to an endocrinologist to prescribe hormones.
    Last edited by NathalieX66; 12-13-2010 at 11:09 PM.

  7. #32
    Aspiring Member Cheryl James's Avatar
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    In answer to your questions: Attracted to females only, do not like the male parts, and 60-40 female. In partial answer to Karen's questions: Yes, I have insurance, don't have a Visa, do you take American Express, and wife and 2 kids.

  8. #33
    fearless transowman juno's Avatar
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    The middle question "Gender" seems to be mixed up here. It sounds like the intent is "what is your physical gender", which is a separate issue from whether or not you like it (also mentioned by DeeInGeorgia). I think the therapist is more interested in your thoughts, so is emphasizing the like/dislike rather than the description of your physical gender. You could also ask whether you like your sexual preference or your gender identity.

    In my unqualified opinion, the 3 questions should be:
    1) What is your sexual preference?
    2) What is your physical gender?
    3) What is your mental gender?

    Answer all questions on a scale of 1=Female, 5=neutral, and 10=Male.
    For each one, you could also ask how comfortable you are with that gender state.

    I guess right now I'm about a 2,8,7.
    Juno Michelle Krahn

    Normal people are weird. Stealth is another word for "in the closet".

  9. #34
    Aspiring Member Christy_M's Avatar
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    To the OP:

    Females
    Ambivolent
    Depends on the time of day

    To Juno:

    1
    5
    5

  10. #35
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
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    Hi.

    Was married, to one woman & have three grown up adults .

    Jos is my only one that has any meaning for me & still do. still to gether 37 years.
    female only.

    allways been a woman . brain wise. yet male as well, intersexed,andro, & make up or body parts , woman as in body wise.still a bit of both, tho a non sexual that part of me was over 13 years ago. gender a mix of both.

    ...noeleena...

  11. #36
    Senior Member jjjjohanne's Avatar
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    I like women
    I like my man parts
    I think of myself as a man
    (But I sure like women's clothes!)

    Who know I was the most like Karen Hutton!?!

  12. #37
    Member RACH99's Avatar
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    Wow. I hadn't thought of it in these terms. It does make things a bit clearer for me....and for some reason easier to grasp some of the things I have been struggling with. Thanks for starting this thread.

    hugs,
    Rach

  13. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by juno View Post
    The middle question "Gender" seems to be mixed up here. It sounds like the intent is "what is your physical gender", which is a separate issue from whether or not you like it (also mentioned by DeeInGeorgia). I think the therapist is more interested in your thoughts, so is emphasizing the like/dislike rather than the description of your physical gender. You could also ask whether you like your sexual preference or your gender identity.

    In my unqualified opinion, the 3 questions should be:
    1) What is your sexual preference?
    2) What is your physical gender?
    3) What is your mental gender?

    Answer all questions on a scale of 1=Female, 5=neutral, and 10=Male.
    For each one, you could also ask how comfortable you are with that gender state.

    I guess right now I'm about a 2,8,7.
    Well my physical gender is obvious, male, and I hope she was able to answer that by just looking. The middle question has to do with whether you think you match how you feel with your gender (as you put physical gender). I think her questions were clear and appropriate. Thanks for your input, Sara

  14. #39
    fearless transowman juno's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarasometimes View Post
    ... I think her questions were clear and appropriate. Thanks for your input, Sara
    You are right. I am just over-analyzing because I am a scientist. A numeric scale answer is concise, but words convey more meaning.

    Still, I think it is good to consider like/dislike for the 3 gender issues. Some people love their female mental gender (I do), and others find it a burden.
    Juno Michelle Krahn

    Normal people are weird. Stealth is another word for "in the closet".

  15. #40
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    juno I think for me it is both. I am a stay at home parent and if I was a dyed in the wool macho man I don't think I would be as good at (that is if I would have even tried) it as I am. I might have be a 4 at it instead of a 8 (I thought you would like my answer on a scale), Just kdding.

  16. #41
    Junior Member Michelle 2774's Avatar
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    Now...preference both, gender, like what I have and gender identity is mostly female

    Years ago I would have answered differently and maybe one day this answer may change
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC][SIZE="3"] Be who you are, since that is all who you can be! [/SIZE]

  17. #42
    Member Crysten's Avatar
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    My answers are: Yes (occasionally), 19-20 (ish), and oranges. Subject to change, of course.
    Crysten

    "Addicted to Victoria's Secret".

  18. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarasometimes
    Last week my therapist talked to me about three variables. Sexual preference, gender and gender identity. My answers were Sexual preference, strictly attracted to females; my gender is male (we discussed this and it sort of came down to do you like your bits in simple terms) and Gender Identity I said both pretty much equally. I'm curious if others see it this way? Also if you don't mind me asking what would your answers be?
    [SIZE="2"]My sexual preference is male, my gender is male+female, and my gender identity is female, or when I’m in disguise, a very effeminate male. Do I like my “bits?” What do you think? I think it’s funny that something so complex and meaningful revolves around the obvious, which is one reason why I distrust therapists so much. I could probably tell the authoritative figure a few things about human sexuality, but why bother? I might as well talk to someone I know inside and out, like me.
    [/SIZE]

  19. #44
    Senior Member joannemarie barker's Avatar
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    Sexual preference= males
    Still ok with my bits
    Male

  20. #45
    Saloon girl NV Susan's Avatar
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    [SIZE="5"]Sexual preference....when drab, female
    When en femme, male or female
    My bits....love em & hate em
    Gender identity...always female
    [/SIZE]
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Susan V. Adams

  21. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tima View Post
    [SIZE="2"]My sexual preference is male, my gender is male+female, and my gender identity is female, or when I’m in disguise, a very effeminate male. Do I like my “bits?” What do you think? I think it’s funny that something so complex and meaningful revolves around the obvious, which is one reason why I distrust therapists so much. I could probably tell the authoritative figure a few things about human sexuality, but why bother? I might as well talk to someone I know inside and out, like me.
    [/SIZE]
    When talking with a therapist, the question "Do you like your male bits?" can give them a clearer picture of where you are at mentally and physically. It can also tell them if it is really your desire to transition or just CD. So the question is valid and important.

  22. #47
    Always be happy Mistybtm's Avatar
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    [SIZE=6]sexual Preference both sex male gender identity a bit of both [/SIZE]
    Mistybtm :belly:

  23. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mary Morgan View Post
    For me, the answers are: attracted to females, I don't like my bits, and female.
    Ditto for me.

  24. #49
    Member Tess's Avatar
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    Sexual preference: males but romantically it would be females (except for one guy I thought could satisfy both)
    Gender: well duh...male
    Gender identity: Confused...sometimes male, sometimes female
    Male bits: Very attracted to them but less interested in my own

  25. #50
    Member Helen 2's Avatar
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    When Dad found out about my crossdressing -which had been going on for years with Mom's support- he made sure I visited a therapist (shrink in those days) a half-dozen times. Same questions were asked over and over and my response the same: "Female, male and male, I think."

    Then he asked me to come see him en femme -I went in dressed to the nines- and asked me the same questions again. He got the same responses, which left him with a thoroughly confused look on his face. In the end, he told my parents that he believed it was an 'gender identity phase' that he was sure I would overcome as I was 14 at the time.

    Little did he know -but I got a free pass to dress up occasionally in my parents presence for another year or two... lol!!

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