Surprise Acceptance

[kitchenette]

Where is the like button??? That's a great post, Michelle. Your openness and self-acceptance is outstanding and no doubt goes a long way in sending positive cues to your love interest. It just resonates with me so much. My CDing partner really struggles with self-acceptance on a deep level - which really doesn't help "normalize" it for me. His relationship with it seems unhealthy - his denial scares me the most. (ie, when in male mode, he can barely acknowledge the fem side, and vise-versa.) It's really, really wonderful the way you seem at ease with yourself, I'm sure that puts her at ease, too. I'm sure it's been a journey for you, just as it is for us and all that are here. You just made my day, because you've given me a lot of food for thought and great insight. We have our therapy appt on Wednesday and now I know what I want to talk about! THANK YOU.

[JulieC]

I am sharing this story because I am a very out person. Dating me isn't a safe decision, but even with those obstacles i told anyway. My honesty and telling her how the pieces fit together caused her to see the big picture. I gained acceptance beyond my wildest belief because I told early and laid it out for her. Women are tired of being lied to and an honest man can break through a lot of barriers. It must be true because I have told 4 women on dates and had 3 accept me. 2 of them went out with Michelle.

I wish all of you could feel what it is like to have acceptance of who you are. That would be the greatest Christmas gift of all.

Michelle, thank you so much for sharing! I'm VERY happy for you!

I wanted to highlight and emphasize what you said above. It's a potent lesson to any CDer.

Self acceptance is often the hardest road to travel. It is no small wonder that many of us who do not accept ourselves find no acceptance in the women we date (or at least, those that know we're CDers). How can we possibly except someone else to accept us when we don't accept ourselves? It's an unreasonable expectation.

You accept yourself, and have approached the CDing in a mature, healthy, stable way. I am not at all surprised that this woman has accepted you. You're healthy in your approach to it! BRAVO!

[Amanda22]

Michelle, there are several wonderful aspects to your posting. Thanks for taking the time to write it. Your honesty is really great. I agree 100% that keeping secrets is a much larger negative than dressing as a woman. Any woman I've known has considered my wearing of girl's clothes just quirky and not a big deal, because they could see the real me underneath. Women are very smart and practical. I'm very happy for you, Michelle. You deserved this!

[AllieSF]

Congratulations Michelle. May the good times continue for a long, long time. Thanks for sharing. Now, if only I can get so lucky!

[AKAMichelle]

Where is the like button??? That's a great post, Michelle. Your openness and self-acceptance is outstanding and no doubt goes a long way in sending positive cues to your love interest. It just resonates with me so much. My CDing partner really struggles with self-acceptance on a deep level - which really doesn't help "normalize" it for me. His relationship with it seems unhealthy - his denial scares me the most. (ie, when in male mode, he can barely acknowledge the fem side, and vise-versa.) It's really, really wonderful the way you seem at ease with yourself, I'm sure that puts her at ease, too. I'm sure it's been a journey for you, just as it is for us and all that are here. You just made my day, because you've given me a lot of food for thought and great insight. We have our therapy appt on Wednesday and now I know what I want to talk about! THANK YOU.

In my case openness was an obstacle to finding someone. I don't live in the closet. I have flown dressed and gone just about everywhere dressed with little fear left. That is hard to hide and not let it effect a relationship. The woman would have to be able to deal with me going out in public. At some point maybe even join me.

My greatest weapon in my arsenal to gain acceptance was also my biggest hinderance. Being able to accept myself has made it easy for me to tell someone how everything fits together. When you are able to start with a certain level of acceptance within, you are able to comfort the SO. You are able to be there for the SO because you don't need as much fixing. Balance years ago was described to me as feeling the same way regardless of how you are dressed. Being TG reaches into every area in your life. It touches and changes you in ways that you may never understand, but it is important to embrace them. Those feelings never go away and will always be a part of you. You are the sum total of all your experiences and the person inside which few people ever see, but when you are able to embrace those feelings you allow people to see a glimpse of the person within. We are worthy of love and respect.

My GF left the party and told me that she felt so much closer to me than she was before. She made a comment which really connected with me. She said that at the Christmas party she met so many real men. She saw how we allowed ourselves to talk about our feelings and express them. We were being true to ourselves. I think the experience has probably caused her to desire to be with a cd'er. She wants what we have learned and share that experience.

[Christy_M]

This is such a great story. Thanks for sharing. I logically understand about self acceptance and strive emotionally for this every day. For you, you have certainly reaped the rewards for achieving self acceptance and exhibiting your true self. I personally appreciate reading your story and striving to achieve what you have. I am sure my wife would feel better about me too.

[VickysBFF]

AKA Michelle: Congrats and I am happy to hear that things are going well for you. I don't mean to pry or be too personal, but I was confused by something in your original post.
You mentioned that she has e-mailed you about being great girlfriends and I did not know if she was going to be your girl friend (i.e. a friend who is female) or your girlfriend (i.e. love interest) or both? Hard to tell.
Either way I wish you well and am glad that you have someone that you can be yourself with.

[AKAMichelle]

AKA Michelle: Congrats and I am happy to hear that things are going well for you. I don't mean to pry or be too personal, but I was confused by something in your original post.
You mentioned that she has e-mailed you about being great girlfriends and I did not know if she was going to be your girl friend (i.e. a friend who is female) or your girlfriend (i.e. love interest) or both? Hard to tell.
Either way I wish you well and am glad that you have someone that you can be yourself with.

We are romantically connected. She was speaking of going places with Michelle. Last Friday night she went with me to Walmart since I was still dressed. That was a huge step and proof that she meant what she said. I worry about her going too far, but she is giving 110% of herself to me which is very refreshing. We will just have to see what happens now.

[joandher]

I definitely think that Santa will be delivering a girly present to you this year

Hugs to you both

J-JAY

[Lorileah]

and to think I remember when Michelle was just this wall flower who was all like shy and quiet...look at her now!

[AKAMichelle]

and to think I remember when Michelle was just this wall flower who was all like shy and quiet...look at her now!

I remember her too. She would never have led a meetup group like I do now. We have 120 members after just over 6 months. We have already had 57 meetups so far with our last one having 41 people attend our Christmas party. I never would have believed that I would be this out, but more importantly that I found a way to accept myself. I now let both parts blend to make me whole and I love who I have become a lot more than the old me.

[Kaz]

I want to say BRILLIANT! But I had thoughts that are echoed above with Julogden's post... be careful!

But it made me think about what I would do if we seperated... and for a moment I was in your space...

Go for it!

[VickysBFF]

We are romantically connected. She was speaking of going places with Michelle. Last Friday night she went with me to Walmart since I was still dressed. That was a huge step and proof that she meant what she said. I worry about her going too far, but she is giving 110% of herself to me which is very refreshing. We will just have to see what happens now.

This is great, congratulations and I am very happy for you. I hope things go well for you.

[Kate17]

This is terriffic! She is really sweet. It is so much fun to share.

[FionaO]

Michelle,
Glad to hear that after all your recent relationship trauma you are now having some very positive outcomes. I know you have commented on my own threads about being more honest with my wife. I wish you all the best in your new relationship and no matter what happens continue to be honest with your current partner. We have to accept who we are and by hiding things from our nearest and dearest we are creating a sense of guilt in ourselves. Surely this cannot be good for us.