Ok, I know I've posted stuff about work my workplace before and I know it's getting tired. I've gone through the whole gauntlet of harassment at work and have somehow managed to persevere, so here is what I discovered along the way. This isn't for everyone, I'm still technically in the closet as I have not revealed Ginger to anyone outside the confines of this forum.
1) DON'T PANIC! Relax, there is life after being outed and it isn't as catastrophic as it may initially seem. I actually am fine with going to work under the suspicious eyes of my coworkers now, and am beyond caring what they think. Know that there are many in your shoes, and crossdressing is not as uncommon as people seem to think.
2) REPORT HARASSMENT TO HR! You can keep it confidential and still tell that bad things have been happening. Stuff kept happening to my car, locker, etc... and I was too afraid to say anything in fear that I had to tell them all, or that somehow by complaining about it was an admission of guilt. Total crap. Once people know you aren't going to put up with that kind of stuff and went to HR with it, they back off in a real hurry.
3) DON'T BECOME INTROVERTED! In a way to avoid confrontation or humiliating conversations with a group of coworkers, one could have a tendency to skulk away and avoid contact. Self isolation makes for a lousy workplace and allows the gossip to fester. It's tougher for them to talk about you if you're in their face!
4) BE A HAPPIER MORE HELPFUL PERSON THAN YOUR FORMER SELF! OK, they know. They will not outright tell you that they know, but they do. Be a pleasure to work with. Be happier than happy, be helpful, polite.... pull out the stops! It's easier for them to target you if you're a prick, or if nobody cares about you.
5) GROUPS WILL TARGET YOU ENMASSE. KEEP COOL! It seems to me that most individuals will not say or do anything to offend anyone, usually. When they are in a group however, they are emboldened. In some weird social pecking order thing they will try to humiliate you, as if making you small makes them big. Don't buy it. Don't even flinch. Give a good proper retort, one you would have given when you were just "one of the guys"! Make sure it makes the offender more embarrassed than you! I could offer examples, but this post will not make it out past the moderators if I did.
6) ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE! It makes it easier to defend yourself if you finally realize you are not the circus freak they say you are! There will be some that will defend you, accept you. Not everyone is out to get you.
That's it. This has been my experience. I ignored all six suggestions and have been needlessly miserable for over 6 years. This forum has given me what I needed, a kick in the pants!
Work safely, be happy.
Ginger
Originally Posted by GingerLeigh
Sophie
Facebook:Sophie Johnson
