So Effing sick of LABELS!

[NicoleScott]

I agree. No more labels.
Now excuse me while I eat my two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun.

[AudreyTN]

im tired of labels too, but unfortunately they are a part of life.

[CherryZips]

Is it a problem with labels or a problem with the wrong label?

Labels are hugely important. Labels help us find out who we are and let others understand us. You are asking us to deny there are any patterns to behaviour on this spectrum.

If someone asks me about my sexual identity do I have to give them a paragraph of biography and ideas or do I give them a couple labels? If I give the paragraph they will more likely go with their assumptions. It also looks evasive and like I might be in denial.

I worry some of this anti label rhetoric is about avoiding responsibility and not accepting who you are.

Maybe we just need better labels.

[AllieSF]

I have no problems with labels. They help me get a quick idea about the person with whom I am talking or chatting. I don't let the labels give a negative connotation to the person. I let the person do that. Yes, labels can be used incorrectly. But then those people who do that would probably do so anyway, with or without labels. Most people use labels of all kinds to help orientate themselves to a conversation or situation. That helps their thought process and to be able to correctly respond to the topic at hand. If you are comfortable with who you are, labels shouldn't bother you. I bet that you use labels for all kinds of things, activities and people; blue collar, politicians, sports people, fishermen, golfers, intellectuals, etc.. You are just sensitive to the ones that may reflect on you. Toughen up your skin and ignore them if you want or need to.

[Cassandra Lynn]

You can vent all you want and most of us can agree that it is frustrating beyond belief, but as has been pointed out it has to happen to some extent.

2 weeks 2 months or 6 months from now there will be new folks finding the 'boards' and they will ask the same questions and they will need answers and they will get them and the cycle will continue. Keep in mind as well that for the greater whole of us, where we start and where we end are usually very different places, so the labels will change.

What causes the most frustration IN MY OPINION !! is that their are folks here who will not allow someone to call themselves what they want or feel they are, you know the same repeat offenders !! who will not !! preclude their statements with the common disclaimer "in my opinion' or "my viewpoint" etc, etc., or better yet just not reply at all.

Cassie

[GaleWarning]

Unfortunately the whole labeling, classification, higher cognitive function thing is what separates us from other species... what makes us human. It's a gift... and we just can't help ourselves... so I guess it can also be a curse.

The abilty to seek samenesses is what enables people to label things. We are all members of CD.com because of what we have in Common, not because of what divides us.
I have long been promoting the notion that we should all be celebrating our samenesses on this forum, instead of tormenting each other by arguing over the labels by which we seek to control ourselves and others.
Let us seek freedom to be ourselves and shun the little boxes full of tickey- tackey.

[Rianna Humble]

The only labels that I go by are:

I'm ME!

I would like to get to know YOU!

So I agree with the original post - beyond that, I really don't care for labels either.

CE

You can't be ME! I'm me!

Now let's get to know each other without labels:

Hi, I'm (sorry can't tell you that's a label), I come from (sorry can't tell you that would label me), I'm interested in (sorry can't tell you because we agreed we would not use labels), I spend my time (sorry can't tell you for fear of using labels). I would have mentioned that I prefer people to use the correct pronoun for me but for the fact that pronouns are labels so that's taboo (which is also a label, sorry).

Now tell em about yourself without mentioning your gender, your name, your interests, your occupation, your age, where you come from & so on.

I agree with one thing form the earlier posts which is that we should concentrate on what we have in common rather than what separates us. Now let's work out what we have in common without using labels. Oops, I'm back to square one.

[GaleWarning]

Let me help you, Rianna.
We are all people who like to wear the clothing usually associated with the opposite gender, or the SO of such a person.
Now isn't that a great way to go forward together?

[ReineD]

[SIZE=2]So Effing sick of LABELS![/SIZE]

I agree with the person who said that labels belong on cans. This is why, since we are using words and not cans, we should think of our descriptions as definitions and not labels. Or, we should think of our definitions as descriptions. Whichever one you like. lol

And since we don't communicate among ourselves through ESP, we can't possibly engage in any meaningful exchange of ideas without knowing the definitions of the words we choose to describe all the things, actions, feelings, and ideas that we are attempting to communicate.

I don't understand why you do not like to define who you are? I mean, if you are in a relationship, doesn't your partner want to know what your sexual orientation is, or if you think you might want SRS down the line? It doesn't really matter what word or combination of words you choose to communicate this, just as long as both of you understand the meaning behind the words at the end of the day.

[JulieK1980]

Perhaps we should label the labels?

Their are labels that are necessary like place names. There are labels that are useful like scientific/medical classifications. There are unnecessary labels that separate us into unneeded classes. Then there is the vague all encompassing "other" category that we can throw all the other labels in like, cans of green beans.

I don't understand why you do not like to define who you are? I mean, if you are in a relationship, doesn't your partner want to know what your sexual orientation is, or if you think you might want SRS down the line? It doesn't really matter what word or combination of words you choose to communicate this

To this, I think we ALL do label ourselves. However, we don't all agree on the textbook definition so it can become frustrating to have someone else try to pigeonhole us into a category based on their idea of what we are. Unfortunately there is very limited resources and information that allows us to accurately define ourselves as a whole.

[Marissa]

And yet another thread on the unhappiness of the multitude of labels being used and some great responses..some valid, some not. But we all have our own opinions as I'm sure this will end as mine

Even though some responses cover the area of labels as a part of life, I ask is the tone of being disgruntled about labels only within the topics of crossdressing/transgender as in this site?

I mean do you log off the site as unhappy because you were labeled a crossdresser, but have no issue if someone nicely ask "are you Italian?

I doubt anyone will get far by "I'm me and you are you" description.

So..good discussion..hope to see the same on the next thread of the same topic

[ReineD]

Jody, you forgot to quote the most important part of my sentence!

... just as long as both of you understand the meaning behind the words at the end of the day.

It stands to reason that as more people come to a common understanding of all the meanings behind the words (through self-searching and productive communication), then everything will become clear and everyone will know exactly what is meant by the descriptions.

[JulieK1980]

Jody, you forgot to quote the most important part of my sentence!



It stands to reason that as more people come to a common understanding of all the meanings behind the words (through self-searching and productive communication), then everything will become clear and everyone will know exactly what is meant by the descriptions.

I stand corrected. (and agree)

[VioletJourney]

I'd say that in this case labels are sort of like political stances; one might call themselves a "Liberal" or a "Democrat" but have Republican/Conservative beliefs in some cases, but it's easier to say "liberal" or "democrat" than to make some big speech about where you stand on each issue. So yeah, labels oversimplify, apply incorrect stereotypes, and aren't completely descriptive, but it's just easier with them.

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

Agree, sick and tired of hearing about labels. Damn have you ever seen a spare parts bay? Even then the labels change and when they fall off, sheeeesk what a problem that is. Maybe I should label my forehead with a tattoo so when I am dressed they know what I am trying to be but I hate being the center of attention. Maybe I should just sticky note it.

[Rianna Humble]

Let me help you, Rianna.
We are all label deleted who like to label deleted, or the label deleted of such a label deleted.
Now isn't that a great way to go forward together?

I think my version fits better with the general consensus of this thread about not using labels

[docrobbysherry]

So, I walk into a room filled with u, "non-labelers", and ask u all one question:

"Who r u?" And, rite on down the line u all say, "I'm ME."
Until I get to Rianna. Who says, "U can't be Me! I'm ME!":brolleyes:

I KNOW you'd ALL BE LYING, of course! NONE OF U IS ME!:Angry3:

[Lynn Marie]

[SIZE="3"]Early on in my first adventures outside of my home as a crossdresser I met a beautiful woman, impeccably dressed, with a fabulous sense of style and grace at the club most of us hang out at. We got to talking and finally I asked "What are you?" I really didn't know. I was a little afraid that I might get some flak for asking such a question, but she very simply said, "I'm a gay man". I was intranced. How could she look so wonderful present herself so well? I loved the way she had no fear of labeling herself with that dreaded term "gay".

I also have no fear of identifying myself. I use labels to make myself understood. I like labels that help me understand better. I also am fully cognizant of the fact that there are many people who use labels to oppress others to make up for their own lack of testosterone and self esteem. I'm sorry for them. I can only wish them the maturity and grace of Charlotta the drag queen gay man with no fear.[/SIZE]

[Cari]

I think labels are unavoidable; you almost have to claim one and take some responsibility for it.
I will always be labelled as a CD because of my actions, but in some tiny way I feel like I can control the stereotypes attached to that label.

What I find annoying is how within the community the labels cause so much friction.
To people outside the community there are only a few labels.

I spent like half my life trying to figure out where I belong.
When I found a label that seemed to fit I thought I was home. (You need something for that internet search)
What really happenned was that by finding that first label I openned a big can of acronym soup describing every variation imaginable.

I try to remember that Im part of a community under a very generic label.

[erickka]

Here Here! 'Nuff said. You said it all, Michelle! Unfortunately it will NEVER go away. It just seems to be that a stupid part of human nature feels that if is necsssary to assign EVERY damn thing some sort of a label.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

No, we can't get away from labels. It's human nature to define and categorize everything and everyone, simply a fact of life. Labels let us communicate with more precision. If it wasn't for labels, how would you have found this site?

Carol

That! Labels are necessary to help us understand what we are talking about, for the most part.

Veronica

[Pythos]

Labels are important. It is however the ones that are incorrectly applied that mess everything up.

I don't really mind being called a crossdresser. It is the other labels connected to that I am not fond of. Labels like, Crazy, sick in the mind, pervert, sexual deviant, child mollester (yes I have seen someone on a fashion freedom site get called that), mentally challenged, and to a lesser extent, homosexual. That last one is only annoying because it is very inaccurate, but still causes women to turn away.

[Jilmac]

I can understand your disgust with labels, I think most of them are concocted out of fear of reality. However I describe myself as a crossdresser. I think it's more of a description than a label, sort of like when a person describes themself by the hobby or interest they pursue.

[PretzelGirl]

That! Labels are necessary to help us understand what we are talking about, for the most part.
Veronica

Labels are part of our language. Must have them to communicate. One of our problems here seems to be that we are oversensitive to what we think is the wrong word being applied. If you apply a "label" to someone outside our group, they will probably say, "nah, not really". Here if you call someone transgender and they don't apply that term to themselves, then the heavens and the earth open up and the Kracken comes out and swallows half the group whole. We really need to be a lot less sensitive especially for a group that is seeking acceptance. It is hard to get acceptance from people outside our group if we argue terminology with them and get upset or offended about it. And judging from what I see here, it has to be happening.

[Amanda22]

We really need to be a lot less sensitive especially for a group that is seeking acceptance. It is hard to get acceptance from people outside our group if we argue terminology with them and get upset or offended about it. And judging from what I see here, it has to be happening.

Thank you for this comment! I agree completely. I have no problem with labels. In my opinion, they're necessary and helpful. If a person is offended by a label, then set them straight. This discussion falls in to the category of caring too much what others think. Call me TG, CD, trans-this, trans-that, weird, strange, f*cked-up, I just can't get enough emotion together to care.