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Thread: If you dont pass as female should you go out in public.

  1. #51
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    I go out and try to present as a reasonably attired GG would appear and hope no one makes it a problem. I agree that few can truly "Pass". I am to blend but looking back on how i presented myself several years ago, I could have been that cd. Tolerance for all should be our goal. Not just tolerance to those it is easy to be tolerant of. Still a goal of mine I haven't fully reached!

  2. #52
    Member James Kaon's Avatar
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    Simple for me really. Yes, if you want to go out because this is what you prefer wearing for whatever reason, then there is no reason why you should not go out in what you feel most comfortable in... The only reason why you may not want to is society's intolerance (yep that old chestnut again!). But its a numbers game - if more than the average person crossdressed then it would not be a problem and you would see most people doing so. Hmm, but then, it would no longer be considered crossdressing ) Damn, gets complicated! Anyway, for me if I saw a MTF or a FTM who did not pass who was out and about, I would be surprised and of course I would notice, simply because I do not see many crossdressers or TG etc out in public. But would it offend me, worry me about rep, make me angry? Absolutely not. I do not expect people to tell me what I can and can't wear, I would be hypocrite if I did the same...

    J
    Last edited by James Kaon; 03-23-2011 at 03:25 PM. Reason: gramma

  3. #53
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by linda allen View Post
    I think the number one mistake a lot of CDs make is dressing like a street hooker. If you're not 20 years old, 5'6" or less and 130 lb, you're not going to pull it off no matter how much you want to. A high percentage of GGs couldn't pull this off if they tried.

    If you're 45 years old and built like a man, the best you can hope for is to look like a rather large 45 year old woman. No mini skirts, no 5" heels, no "night club" makeup.
    What a great post, thank you!!

    I think it's important to remember the OP said the person she saw was dressed inappropriately. Even if her face does look masculine, she won't stand out so much if she dresses for the occasion. Night club wear belongs in night clubs, just as bathing suits belong at the beach. lol

    It can take time for some CDers to learn to discriminate between what is appropriate clothing for some occasions, but not others.
    Last edited by ReineD; 03-24-2011 at 12:59 PM.
    Reine

  4. #54
    Member Christine1954's Avatar
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    Thanks for all of the replies to this post, I did not expect such a response. I have read and taken in your comments and have learned from them that I should not have been ashamed. I do however, still feel that if you do anything in this life, then it should be your best effort and show respect for others.
    Christine
    Happiness is not doing the things one likes to do, but liking the things one has to do.

  5. #55
    I'm 19 and i don't do look like a woman... i'm more like what some of you would call a guy in girls clothes... but i look good doing it and i rock my heels and think that if you look good and can do it without looking like a fool then go for it! i'm not sure if i ever wanna get a wig & do full make up.... unless i know that i will look amazing i'm not even gonna go for it

  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by linda allen View Post
    I think the number one mistake a lot of CDs make is dressing like a street hooker. If you're not 20 years old, 5'6" or less and 130 lb, you're not going to pull it off no matter how much you want to. A high percentage of GGs couldn't pull this off if they tried.

    If you're 45 years old and built like a man, the best you can hope for is to look like a rather large 45 year old woman. No mini skirts, no 5" heels, no "night club" makeup.

    What you have to do is observe GGs your age and size, then dress and act like them. You may pass, you may not, but you'll have a much better chance.

    For me, If I thought I would pass and had the opportunity, I would try it, but dressed and made up appropriately. I'm not one to put on a dress and walk down the street with a beard.
    DING DING DING - We have a winner!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Christine1954 View Post
    Thanks for all of the replies to this post, I did not expect such a response. I have read and taken in your comments and have learned from them that I should not have been ashamed. I do however, still feel that if you do anything in this life, then it should be your best effort and show respect for others.
    Christine
    Exactly.

    Glasses - tame wig - boring clothes - and if you can go out in cold weather, a jacket, hat and glove LINERS ( give illusion of a small hand in a big glove, rather than a big glove over a big hand ) ... nobody will even notice you. As you get better at being unnoticed, you can get more appealing with clothes.
    Last edited by ReineD; 03-23-2011 at 10:03 PM. Reason: Merging consecutive posts. Please use the Edit, Quote, and Multiquate buttons in the future.

  7. #57
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    I don't think I pass at all even when wearing a wig, makeup etc. My last two days out I have not worn a wig or a make up but otherwise dressed and have spent time out on the beach or round the shops. I have not had any bad comment made. Yesterday while shopping for clothes I got chatting to the young SA we had a long chat about clothes and she said that you should wear what you are comfortable with. She saw nothing wrong with men in skirts but she admitted that she hardly ever wears skirts because of her pale legs. I suggested that she wear tights in a skintone, I told her I was wearing skintone tights(she thought I was bare legged) and she said she would try a similar shade next time she wore a skirt/dress.

  8. #58
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    Well, why limit public appearance standards to just crossdressers? From now on, fat and ugly men and women (and their kids too) are forbidden to go out in public.
    Just one question: who sets the standards?

  9. #59
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    OMG I went out last night! Did anyone see me? Did I pass?
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  10. #60
    naughty nurse Billie Jean's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sissystephanie View Post
    I am a male and therefore cannot pass as a woman, unless I am wearing a properly fixed wig and properly applied makeup along with the proper clothing!! When my wife passed away, I decided to forget about "passing," and just go out dressed enfemme with no wig and no makeup. Been doing it for 6 years now and have never had a problem!! Of course, since I am obviously a male I always use the mens restroom if I need to even though I am dressed enfemme!! My clothing choice is for me to pick, not anyone else!!
    I do the same and other than some odd looks nobody has ever said anything.Billie Jean

  11. #61
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    I am 31 years old, dress appropriately for my age, but for the most part, never wear makeup or a wig when i go out. I dress to the nines from the neck down, but neck up, i am clearly guy. I do this for several reasons: 1) while I adore presenting a completely female appearance, i can satisfy my desire by dressing completely, without the chore of putting on makeup. 2) I am always clean shaven, head to toe. 3) and probably the highest on the list, I absolutely love the blurring of gender lines and confusion in seeing a very feminine shape and demeanor, crowned with the head of a man. It strikes up plenty of conversation and I have never once felt threatened or unsafe. I go to malls, do my grocery shopping and run errands this way. It also makes it easier to transform quickly after work, for a quick fix!

  12. #62
    Fab Karen Fab Karen's Avatar
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    If others are standing still & you move beyond their location, you passed.

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  13. #63
    Banned Read only Kiera79's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christine1954 View Post
    I do not pass as a female and will probably never do (although I am working to atain this image), I spotted a guy today who was dressed in female clothes very inappropriately for his age and could not walk at all in the high heels he was wearing. The make up was very amateurish and he was not at all feminine in his demeanure. He made me feel somewhat ashamed to be a crossdresser but then I realised that he was obviously not. What do others think on this matter?
    Here is my take. We all start somewhere and not all are stuck in the closet. For me I went out in skinny jeans and a shirt the first time. I still to this day do not wear a wig because it makes me feel fake. I am me and present as me. If that is wrong them oh well. I enjoy wearing nice fitting clothes and styles that are feminine n natural but do not wish to transition.

  14. #64
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    I think whatever you look like you should be out in public after all we are all human. Of course there is such a thing as common sense. If ya wear a tutu and fairy wings to the mall you will get stared out. If you dress like a hooker whether you are a GG or transgender you will get stared at. Heck none of us can control what people think or even say. I just think as cd's we need to be prepared for peoples reactions good bad or indifferent. Wear whatever you want to wear, if ya want to go out it is your right! Of course people also have the right to stare!

  15. #65
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Well, I just don't have the time slot or the facility to do a complete make-over. I generally will entertain myself with androgynous dressing and include giant boobs and stacked heels. I don't purposely get in anyones face but I do go about my business. Really, practically no one notices.
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  16. #66
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    I like to encourage anyone who wishes, to go out and enjoy themselves no matter how they look. Yes, the person's appearance may not be where they want to be eventually, but if you never more forward, then you never achieve your goal.

    I went out yesterday and passed. But everyone still looked at me with disgust. So I bought some GasX and I will try again.

  17. #67
    mini kilted chick t-girlxsophie's Avatar
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    My best friend could be that guy,she is in her 60s but dresses like a teenager,mini skirt,high heel boots,crop tops,the lot.She loves being a Crossdresser and lives her life to the fullest when she is out (which happens rarely these days),I wouldnt try and change her,she wouldn't be the same bubbly,fun loving person I became Pals with.Sure we get looks when I walk down the street with her,and a lot (even some other CDers dissaprove of her) think her odd but maybe everyone should deal with themselves without trying to foist there opinions on others,we dont all fit the ideals

    Sophie
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  18. #68
    Chickie Chickhe's Avatar
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    Everyone has to start somewhere. Are you asking if you should go out? Or are you asking if the person you saw should have gone out? Just do your best to look decent and go with that. I guess if you have some fashionistas to hang around with you have an advantage.
    Chickie

  19. #69
    happy to be her Sarah Doepner's Avatar
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    Go out however you want to go out, I do.

    If you decide to dress like a female member of the band KISS but with a full beard and a neon codpiece, I may choose to cross over to the other side of the street and watch the show rather than be in it. And if am in the same room as you and you don't think my marginally passible soccer mom outfit is appropriate for the occasion, you can wander off and find the incredibly beautiful CD and hang with her.

    In either event I can accept the choices others make and hope they can accept mine.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.

  20. #70
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    I see a lot of GGs that don't pass as female out in public all the time.

    With the obesity of women and the dress down culture, many GGs do not make attractive women. While I don't pass very well, with a good makeup job, I could pass. I'm 5'9"", 150 lbs, size 10 to 12 bottoms, and 12 to 14 tops. I'm well within the acceptable GG size ranges. I think GGs do us CDs a big favor by not looking very well. It means that I don't stand out as much in a group.

  21. #71
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    My wife tells me that with full makeup on I have a chance. But then again, she says, Take a look around. There is some pretty damn ugly women. Hmmmm.

  22. #72
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    I know beyond any doubt that I'm not going to pass for female any closer than 30 yards. Any lingering doubt a blind person may have would be quickly eliminated when I open my mouth.

    That said, I do try to put myself together well, most times... so at least someone might think, "hey, there's a cute transvestite."

  23. #73
    your heavy metal grrrl Xandria's Avatar
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    the SO and i were talking the other day and the subject came up and i asked her to please critique me on how xandria dresses, i asked her to please stop me from going out in public if i look re-donkulous.

    the thing for me is this. I will never be "passable" i have such a deep voice and my body's frame is very wide in the shoulders and narrow hips so i know i'll get read right off the bat.. unless you look at me from behind.. HA! anyways because of my situation i like to get creative with makeup and what i wear


    so i found this cute outfit.. you tell me.. would you go out in public wearing this?

  24. #74
    Member annecwesley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christine1954 View Post
    If you dont pass as female should you go out in public?
    Someday I may attempt to pass as a female. It’s been a few decades since I really tried, and I was too young and too scared to do it often.
    I so enjoy wearing women’s clothing, feeling a soft nylon slip against my shaved, pantyhosed legs, that I’ve decided to give in and do the “guy in a skirt” thing. Even if I shaved and put on a wig and made myself up I know I would not look like a woman. I can appreciate the concerns of some of you here about crossdressers who don’t pass and who look freakish. I try to look good and not outlandish, even choosing skirts with a kiltish look and foregoing heels and other things I like to wear. It’s a look which I think I’m getting to work and I think it’s better than failing to look like something I’m not.

  25. #75
    Member Christine1954's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xandria View Post
    so i found this cute outfit.. you tell me.. would you go out in public wearing this?
    If I had your figure I would definitely go out, you look fantastic in that outfit.
    Christine.
    Last edited by ReineD; 04-05-2011 at 08:07 PM. Reason: There's no need to display the picture again.
    Happiness is not doing the things one likes to do, but liking the things one has to do.

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