Barbra,
I think the shifting boundaries are a worry for a 'tolerant' SO. You say your wife has known for 35 years?, and currently you are considering getting your ears pierced, and going out en femme to a LGBT friendly venue for the first time. So, this means that in the last 35 years you haven't got your ears pierced, and haven't been out en femme. This suggests to me that you are shifting the boundaries.

My wife and I rarely talk about my dressing, as she says it is not really a subject of interest to her, but she tolerates me being dressed around the house occasionally.
Based on my wife's reactions to my dressing, I checked (with a leading question) on her views and she confirmed that while she didn't want to encourage me in any way (potentially fearing where it may lead), nor did she want to crush me with hurtful comments when she knows that dressing is an important part (for me) of who I am.

The point is that crossing a boundary of escalation of dressing activity can understandably trigger a cold reaction driven by discomfort or disinterest with the situation, or fear. This doesn't mean that she is become less accepting, it means that you are changing the rules about what acceptance means.

Depending on your general level of dressing activity over the years and your wife's involvement and awareness of this, the recent changes could be almost as much of a surprise as the original revelation.

You need to try and have a talk with her, and try to understand her needs and worries, rather than focussing on your desires. "She has even resisted my getting my ears pierced" - how many men do you know who get their ears pierced in their sixties? I appreciate that from your perspective it may not be that big a deal (though in that case why didn't you get them done years ago?) - but from your wife's perspective it may be a huge signpost that you are changing direction.

I hope you can both find a happy balance.

Susie

(Stephanie - snap - nice avatar )