Originally Posted by Cristi
This is how my SO handles it: she IS careful close to home. Like your situation, this is a small town. She might lose friends over it, but she might not. She might encounter difficulties at work, but she might not. By the way, if you do not have an employment contract or you do not have tenure in your work, your job is not guaranteed. It's important for you to know that most US states have adopted the at-will employment contract that allows the employer to dismiss employees without having to provide a justified reason for firing.
Anyway, my SO is also not a TS who is committed to transition or living full time (she still likes being a guy), so she is willing to make compromises. She is not on a mission to be a trans rights activist, although she does contribute to the cause by virtue of being out there frequently ... just not in her own backyard.
She dresses freely inside her home. She has never had to keep the dressing under wraps at home, or having to dress less often than she would like, and maybe this is why she hasn't reached the point of being tired of hiding like you. But, she is careful about going back and forth to her car for the reasons mentioned above and she doesn't hang out dressed in her back yard.
So, she dresses inside her home and she goes out frequently, in next towns over. She's been doing this for years and she has become friendly with the regulars at the places she goes to. They are not close friends, they don't see each other socially or anything, but they do respect who she is. I think this is what made it possible for her to have reached a happy medium with it all.
If you do not want to take on the hassles of having everyone in your town know about you (if you are not planning on transition or living full-time), then I would do the reverse from what you suggest. Be careful at home especially around your neighbors, but do go out more often slightly outside your home radius. My SO goes to restaurants, cafes, shopping, movies, errands, etc, in towns that are under an hour away.
However, if you are planning on living FT outside of work (or even at work), then by all means, be open about it to everyone.
In your post you mention your parents, siblings, coworkers, and your friends, but not your wife. Are you married, and how does your wife feel about this?
