i have been crossdressing since the age of 5 years old. as i get older i find my need to dress has become more frequent. i feel i have no control over it and i want to be dressed as often as possible in dresses and very feminine clothing. i am a normal male with normal urges and i fancy women but i have this strong need to dress up.
i wish i could control it better and not feel so consumed by it.
what is it like for the rest of you?
Comes and goes with me,... but it's always there, regardless of the fact that I have not been active in a few years now.
I've just learned to accept it as part of me in the same way that I accept my height, my vision problems and my need to always have a joke at the ready (except right now of course, cos this is serious business here!)
jenn
I would identify why the need is there.
How does it make you feel when I tell you that gender is purely a social construct? There is no "gender" in biology. (There IS the male and female sex which has nothing to do with clothing). It is by pure chance and by societal expectations that women dress as they do and men dress as they do.
It is absolutely fine to dress as you want to dress, but I personally don't think it is healthy to be "consumed" (or attached) to anything...especially things of such low importance and so impermanent as clothing. I could give you some reasons I think you may feel a compulsion to do what you do. There is nothing wrong in dressing in the attire that you want to wear, but there IS something wrong with something so physical and impermanent being the highlight of your life because usually these types of things aren't what will find you true happiness. (In my opinion, of course).
So, again, I'd say wear what you want, but if you feel some compelled/consumed, I do not think that is healthy and I think you should look around you and determine what it is of this social construct that has totally consumed you.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
Part of it yes that was me.Originally Posted by emmicd
Now I do love feminine clothes but it is not 100% consuming.
I love the feel that I have a female body.
I love wearing attached forms, sometimes braless.
I love corsets it seems to change my walk and control top panties for tucking.
i can wear all that under my male clothes (or gg jeans) I do not care.
Maybe this is my "compulsive behavior ".
lol but i am happy.
Find a good therapist, especially one that has experience with gender identity disorder and transgender issues. Whether you are simply a crossdresser or might be transsexual, it would still help you out a lot to have a professional to talk about your experiences with.
I have one.
It is nice talking and not having to worry about being judged.
Helps me a lot.
I can identify with a lot of what you say. I too have this "need" to be dressed or partially dressed all the time or more aptly put whenever I can. I make excuses to myself that it relaxes me (which it does), I feel better about myself (I picture myself as a female), I feel more comfortable (when wearing lingerie). Am I confused, probably. But this is my confusion and I have discussed this with a therapist that I was seeing. Many, many times I think about transitioning but due to outside and inside influences this is not a viable course to take. So I do the next thing!!!!!!
Molly
"To thine own self be true"
... that's not at all what OCD is like. It's just a natural urge you have, nothing wrong with it, just embrace it.
I have OCD and feel the overwhelming need to be dressed as well but that is NOT OCD. Thst is just a part of me thst needs to be allowed to express herself so I do not go insane. OCD is that I have 50 nice skirts and only 4 nice pairs of mens slacks. Damn you EBay.
OCD (Obsessive Clothing Disorder)
I think for many of us, it is clearly an obsessive-compulsive behavior. As for me, I think about it daily, I dress often several times a week, and I continue to shop for more clothes despite the fact that I already have more than enough already. So I have clearly entered the OC realm.
Any money found in the laundry is MINE!
"This is no social crisis....this is me having fun!"
www.flickr.com/photos/tgmarla/
My wife says I'm obsessive. And I do obsess. More obsessions of the week. But I'm really to lazy to be compulsive.
I agree, I'm OCD but don't equate the act of dressing as being OCD. It does show up in full effect within dressing; everything has to be perfect, or at least in my mind. And then there's the OCD research thing I do. When I want to buy something, whether male or female, I'll research for hours before purchasing. You should see my links and folders...lol
I dress 24/7 most of the time, with exceptions for outside work, non-accepting acquaintances/family etc. I don't feel consumed by dressing - its really more an expression of who I am. I am somewhat frustrated when circumstances prevent me from dressing, but I can and do control the desire.
There is certainly a compulsion to dress, but as long as it doesn't seriously disrupt normal life, it doesn't have to be obsessive. Dr. Phil had a TS guest who had (no-op) transitioned (but may have been a CD caught up in a thick pink fog). She always had her nails and hair done and clothes, makeup, shoes, wigs, etc. but couldn't afford to make child support payments. I don't know if this was OCD or just a transgendered slacker, but it shed a bad light on crossdressing.
Just curious, do you go out dressed to do errands, or hang out at a place like Starbucks to read a book or go online, and also do you interact with people who just know you as Emmi?
Reine
Very good points Nicole. I'm only a beginner in the community, but I have to balance my desire to dress with the fact that I have zero savings left after an expensive year at University (and a bad housing deal!), and am unlikely to find a job before term begins again in September. Today I just bought a wig off ebay, but the price of it has sent me into the red! Oops! As long as your desire to cross-dress doesn't consume you and prevent you living a socially productive life, then its perfectly fine. <:
It's obviously compulsive for ME! Odd, because I've never had any compulsive issues before, and I'm over 60! The unfortunate side effect for me is I tend to let daily chores slide while I'm swept away by the pink fog! And, I neglect personal friends while online and being busy with Sherry!
In an attempt to control my CD habit, I allow myself a daily intake of CD activities, plus I binge when I want to. This seems to stop the compulsion from completely overwhelming me, as it used to!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
In a few days Tina will have existed for 6 years. A day does not go by without some thought of Tina, some discussion with my wife about Tina, or some other connection. After all, the whole notion of having a feminine side brings with it a change of lifestyle. Suddenly there are facial products everywhere, dieting to give Tina a better figure, practicing Tina's voice every chance I get, checking out the catelogs for new clothes for her, checking the woman's section every time we or I shop, and since I wear my 4.5 inch clogs every morning for my back, how can Tina be far away. Notice, I didn't say anything about getting dressed! This all happens in male mode!
Is this obsessive-compulsive? No, absolutely not. It's no more than any GG does just existing! Is it different from the way we were brought up as boys? Sure it is, and so it probably seems O-C. Those of us who pop back and forth from one gender to the other have to maintain both sides of our lives, and that just takes work.
So is it any wonder, that when we finally have time to transform to our femme selves, that we want to do the best we can? Nothing wrong with that!
Nope, this just seems normal to me. There must have been something I filled my time with six years ago. I wonder what it was????
Hi Emmi, This almost sounds like you are telling my story.
Orchid
I've only been serious about my dressing for a few weeks now and I am already having a really hard time being the male version of myself. I'm not sure that it's obsessive, but more of a mix between just feeling good and the fact that Anna has no actual responsibilities in life. It's getting harder and harder to turn Anna off everyday.
Going to bed at night with my legs shaved and wearing some little booty cut pajama shorts... Nothing else in my life makes me feel that good, so it certainly starts to FEEL obsessive. But I think it's just a comfort thing...
typos? Errors? Sent from my phone!
After fighting my true self for far too many years, I admit I'm a bit compulsive these days with allowing myself to, well… indulge. Don't really see it as obsessive-compulsive behavior, though. It's just me finally living as much of my life as I wish I had been born. You wouldn't say a woman who always fixes herself up each morning is obsessive, would you? But, of course, for those of you who allow all this to interrupt your life as you wish it to be, well that's another thing entirely.
When lost, alone, or blue I know I can always get through the day, for I've always another shade of lipstick to make things right!
CDing is mental state that hooks you and you can't stop the more you dress the more hooked you become , stop purge then start over again I'm starting over again , wish others understood how we feel and except us as we are Rhonda
I really don't understand the clinical Obsessive-Compulsive and since I'm not trained there I shouldn't comment on your situation. I will offer a little of my experience and maybe it will add to the discussion, maybe. I can go extended periods (weeks to months) of time without dressing en femme, often not even thinking about it. However, eventually the idea reenters my mind and before long it has taken up residence. It will be there until I manage to get a day or two (minimum) full of girl time. The "desire" is probably always there, but sometimes there is a "need" that enters the equation. When that "double-whammy" hits, a pink fog bank begins to build and won't be swept away until I've enjoyed quite a bit of time en femme.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
Crossdressing for most isn't related to OCD. Basically, a lot of us just feel normal when dressed and/or behaving & feeling female; we go through our lives suppressing that desire in order to appear 'normal' for everyone else. Eventually it takes so much energy/mental work to suppress it, that it's simply easier to give in to the desire. Consider it another way; instead of girl clothes feeling normal, suppose it was wearing sweats. But day in and day out we had to wear deep sea diving outfits. Obviously, the deep sea diving outfits mean we would have to spend time putting it on every day, wearing it, and taking it off at the end of the day (same as dressing up in all male underwear, sox, slacks, shirt, blazer and wingtips). Either way, we would spend a lot of time and trouble putting on something that we don't feel normal wearing, and would feel much better wearing what we really want to wear.
BTW, OCD treatments usually don't work on crossdressing.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Crossdressing is an OCD except for those who are transsexual. If this was just a natural part of ourselves we would not need to think about it, or fantasize about it, we would just do it and think nothing of it. CDs also report getting a positive response whether sexual or emotional when dressing. This is an important aspect of OCD which makes it hard to break away from the often dysfunctional behaviors associated with it. This of course does not reveal the reasons why the dressing began in the first place but OCD quickly becomes attached to the crossdressing behavior once it emerges.
I want to be judged for who I am not what I am. Thank you for listening.
